ATTN: JayKeeley

[dorian gray]

Dear Mr. JayKeeley,

How do you balance two children, a wife, a job, and your interests like listening to music, watching movies, and occasional concerts? I feel like I have too many entertainment options and I rarely get to use any of them; it's especially difficult to find time to listen to new music. To top it off, I only have one child and I'm sure I spend less time at work than you do.
What's the secret?

Love,

dorian gray

 

[Krilons Resa]

He has an identical twin brother. Either that, or Haddsie is superwoman.

 

[swizzlenuts]

I know he has an hour trip to work everyday or something, so that 2 hrs of good listening each work day.

 

[dorian gray]

True, but that's also two hours away from home. Each hour I'm away from home is an hour I'm not spending with my son.
The thing with having a family is that you pretty much dont get to listen to music on anything other than headphones because no one else wants to hear death metal. And you cant really sit there and listen to headphones because you need to play/interact with your children. And then, when they are sleeping, you can't really do it either because you want to spend time with the wife. Having even one child changes your life more than anything else. Marriage is nothing compared to having a child. Anyway, I just wanted to know how he does it. In my case, I just have to pick one interest a day. And that only works out if there's no contingencies, like say, taking a car in for maintenance or going to the doctor.

 

[Guthrum]

Pull a Chris Benoit.

 

[J.]

im in the same boat as dorian. one kid, a job, a wife, etc.

most of my music listening is to and fro work. however, the wife and kid usually go to bed around 11PM, whereas i stay up and listen to music for about another hour or 2. also, after the kid goes to sleep, my wife likes to talk to her peeps, allowing me to escape upstairs for musical pleasure.

 

[Climb Thar Hill]

so from what i gather...

dont have kids, problem solved. the wommang and i don't want em. when the time comes for moving out and possibly marriage it's gonna be great. all that money just goin' to traveling the world

 

[dorian gray]

Edit: @ J.

Yours is still little, no? The Anders goes to sleep at around 7 pm but from around 5:30 till then it's all about making him dinner, feeding him, feeding ourselves, giving a bath, reading him stories, etc. And then there's a good hour of cleaning up the day's messes. So, if we're lucky, we get to sit down and watch a movie or whatever and then pass out at 10 pm. And that describes a day when I'm home. If I'm at work, the wife does all this by herself so on my days off, I like to give her a break, or at least make it 50/50 - like I give the bath while she cleans etc.
Most of our friends just avoid some of this stuff by being lazy - the wives don't cook, their houses are disgustingly dirty, and so on. This morning we watched our friend's two children. One of them is 4 and still wears diapers. That's just laziness.

Ultimately, the only time I get to listen to music with the least amount of distraction is during my commute, which sometimes can take all of 10 minutes.

 

[dorian gray]

so from what i gather...

dont have kids, problem solved. the wommang and i don't want em. when the time comes for moving out and possibly marriage it's gonna be great. all that money just goin' to traveling the world

I can understand this. But, I can't imagine going through life without him. I can't express how excited I already am about going to his soccer games, helping with homework, helping him pick out hot girlfriends, etc. I'd be great right now without children but I think if I was 40 and didnt have any children I'd be pretty bored, lonely, and sad.

 

[J.]

so from what i gather...

dont have kids, problem solved. the wommang and i don't want em. when the time comes for moving out and possibly marriage it's gonna be great. all that money just goin' to traveling the world

it's not a problem per se, but your priorities change. your time is not yours anymore. less time to be selfish.

 

[J.]

I can understand this. But, I can't imagine going through life without him. I can't express how excited I already am about going to his soccer games, helping with homework, helping him pick out hot girlfriends, etc. I'd be great right now without children but I think if I was 40 and didnt have any children I'd be pretty bored, lonely, and sad.

yep. i cant wait till that first little boy asshole comes to pick her up for a date.

 

[dorian gray]

Edit: re: post #10
Yar. Even when I am being selfish, I have a pang of conscientiousness. If you want to be a good parent, you have to come to the realization that life is no longer yours. That, in turn, gives you a new identity and a new purpose in life. It's actually quite refreshing. Sure, I wish I was back in college, smoking weed and playing soccer, but oh well. Once you see your child start to take on his own personality and interests, it beats smoking weed and fucking co-eds.

 

[dorian gray]

I'm getting off track a little bit. The only thing I was wondering about was how to enjoy big-boy things like movies and music while you have a two year old wanting you to draw cars and trucks for him. Id like to have a kick-ass movie/music theater in my next house but it's like, whats the point? Not like Im going to get to use it. Spending $6000 on a home theater and getting to use it once a week - man, broken down in cost per viewing, that's pretty expensive.

 

[Demilich]

Pull a Chris Benoit.

Not very funny imo!

 

[lurch70]

Edit: re: post #10
Yar. Even when I am being selfish, I have a pang of conscientiousness. If you want to be a good parent, you have to come to the realization that life is no longer yours. That, in turn, gives you a new identity and a new purpose in life. It's actually quite refreshing. Sure, I wish I was back in college, smoking weed and playing soccer, but oh well. Once you see your child start to take on his own personality and interests, it beats smoking weed and fucking co-eds.

O RLY?

ok, so this thread is a sign to tell you guys that I will be joining you in the happiness of fatherhood in about 6 months

 

[Nico]

Holy shit! Congrats Lurch, many happy returns!

 

[dorian gray]

You mean you plan on conceiving a child in 6 months or your special lady friend is going to give birth in 6 months? Either way, congratu-fucking-lations, old bean!

 

[lurch70]

hahaha, the seed has been planted already ... more news about the rest later

back to balancing daily life talk, will need a lot of help. bookmarking this thread

 

[Demilich]

i have enough trouble finding enough time to do the shit i want to do and i have no wife, kid, home of my own or even a girlfriend

 

[dorian gray]

edit: @lurch
Good luck sucker!
Case in point: tried watching a Mike Portnoy drum clinic DVD while the boy took his nap. He woke up. No more watchey DVD for me.