Attn People That Hate Smallville

  • Thread starter Thread starter Ghost of Red Dragon
  • Start date Start date
nah. that's wrong. john stewart's been kicking around since the 70's or so. john replaced hal a few times too. he's a fill in! like the dark black empty space between stars... or something like that!

huh? wait, why would there be more than 1 Green Lantern on planet Earth at the same time? i thought the Green Lanterns were supposed to be evenly distributed across the entire galaxy
 
ah.

The Corps is an organization of 7200 Green Lanterns (the old Corps had 3600) who are chosen by the ring for being able to overcome great fear, with two assigned to sectors of space that require the protection of more than one Green Lantern (Earth, home to Hal Jordan and John Stewart, is in Sector 2814). Heavily-populated Sectors like 2814 can have several Lanterns. While the primary Lanterns of Sector 2814 are Hal Jordan and John Stewart, Kyle Rayner and Guy Gardner call Earth home, but are stationed on Oa, first as teachers, and then specially assigned to cases that are too difficult for the average GL.
 
ah.

The Corps is an organization of 7200 Green Lanterns (the old Corps had 3600) who are chosen by the ring for being able to overcome great fear, with two assigned to sectors of space that require the protection of more than one Green Lantern (Earth, home to Hal Jordan and John Stewart, is in Sector 2814). Heavily-populated Sectors like 2814 can have several Lanterns. While the primary Lanterns of Sector 2814 are Hal Jordan and John Stewart, Kyle Rayner and Guy Gardner call Earth home, but are stationed on Oa, first as teachers, and then specially assigned to cases that are too difficult for the average GL.

so this is like the ghettoville parts of a city having more cops than the preptown area
 
only if you title your post: most convoluted and needlessly complicated universe ever.

Marvel more complicated than DC?
you serious?
Superman
Lex Luthor running for president with Batman breaking into Lex's bedroom and saing "you can either keep the Kryptonite or be President, you can't have both"
Superman leaving earth for weeks (maybe months) at a time to do stuff on other planets with bizarre non-sensical explinations for why extra-terrestrials are not allowed on Earth
the whole "death of Superman/world without Superman/reign of the Supermen/Superman returning from dead" thing
Superman having a kid called "superboy"
Superman "putting his powers into the suit" where his "new powers" look like the powers of the Black Vulcan
Superman getting turned into energy splitting off into 2 seperate people (actually have this issue) then somehow returning to a single person and making his powers return the way they were
wonderwoman
becoming temporarily blind never read the issue where she looses her sight or the one where she gets it back and here's why while she's blind she's constantly getting shot at, jumping around dodging bullets and making the bullets richochet off of her bullet-proof bracelets, she would have had to have gotten the powers of both the Flash and Daredevil to do the crap i saw her do while she was blind
and the Greek Gods are so prominent that you have to be an expert of Greek Mythology to follow what the fucking hell is going on
the Green Lantern title is so fucking complicated you had to go to Wikipedia to explain it to yourself/me
the Flash title is so complicated that every single issue (for 2006-today, at least) has had every single page totally crammed full of those little nararator boxes that are much more rare in any other title, and those boxes are really neccassary for the reader to understand what the fucking hell is going on in the Flash title
even Batman isn't even as simple as it used to be
Dick Grayson decided to stop being "Robin" and became "Nightwing" and Batman got this new kid Tim Drake to bethe new Robin, and now it turns out Bruce Wayne has a kid and instead of just making bruce wayne a "playboy" like he was in the 40s-50s and have some random woman be the mother of bruce wayne's kid, the mother turns out to be the only female (aside from Batgirl) that knows that Bruce Wayne is Batman, so instead of the boy being "bruce wayne's kid" he's "batman's kid" where the boy is blindfolded when entering the batcave so that he won't figure out that his father, batman, is actually the world-famous billionaire bruce wayne

and i can't keep track of who's in the justice league and who's in the teen titans and why there's a justice league in outer space

Marvel's universe couldn't be really signifigantly more complicated than this, it's we made choices
you chose DC over Marvel, and i chose Marvel over DC
i chose Marvel because Marvel's got better character development than anything in DC (except Batman and Clark Kent as he appears in Smallville)
 
you actually seem genuinely upset. which is understandable, i guess. considering what you like is actually wrong.

regardless of all the heavy continuity in the dc universe, you can still get into most books at any given time. none of that superman past really has affected the title. batman's. anyone's, i believe. i'll focus on batman for now, since i'm most familiar with him. this is his last fifteen years:

had his back broken
was replaced
returned
gotham is poisoned (contagion)
earthquake hits gotham (cataclysm)
no man's land
big fugitive/murderer fiasco
hush
war games and war crimes
that crazy fucking red hood fiasco

but they're all immensely isolated arcs. the core hasn't changed at all. superman's the same. he's always got some powered goon to fight. wonder woman, to my knowledge, is obviously greek driven and to my knowledge they use it to enhance her world. i'm sure it's not jaw jarringly complex if you're reading fucking comics.

i have to mention here, your analysis of the batman and son arc is a fucking joke. talia. daughter of the fucking demon's head: ra's. NOT random. she's been one of the handful of close lovers to bruce that know his identity. along with vicki vale, silver st cloud, selina kyle. they're actually MENTIONED in that arc. and the kid hearkens back to a hugely controversial arc called Batman: Son of the Demon. or maybe it was Bride. whatever. i'll admit the blindfold was redundant. but the kid isn't familiar with "bruce wayne: billionaire". he was raised in the league in fucking tibet or something.

flash might be complicated. i know they're on the third flash. but he's been around for awhile.

jla and titans are pretty easy, man. jla was vast until the mid 80's or so. then it broke and things became horrendously messy until grant morrison came and brought awesome again. then it remained constant for almost ten years. it's only recently that the league dissolved and they're making a new one right now. teen titans were constant all through the 80's. again, nineties DC became VERY marvel-like and fucked around. but toward the end of that young justice bullshit they got their act together and created an awesome titans. infinite crisis broke them up and the title has been exploring the identity of the titans the last year. and it's actually an awesome run. i think geoff johns is writing it. doing great!

ten years is a long fucking time. show me ten years of constant avengers or x-men.

and those titles are just unbearably convoluted. look at the fucking marvel universe. wait, which one? earth 616 or the ultimates? maybe house of M? is it the year 2099 yet? or maybe it's THE END?
who's daredevil btw? and is parker the real spidey? where are spidey's villains anyhow... fighting hulk? probably. storm is married to the fucking black panther. THEY'RE in the F4. you know punisher is playing captain america these days, right? and hulk was banished from earth or something and he's about prime to wage a war. is spiderman's black costume the symbiote... wait no, it was just a costume and he hid it at a fucking bell in webbing that lasts a fucking decade and can weather any storm. oh, and how's venom doing these days anyhow? wait, which venom... does he still have terminal cancer? can't remember. hey, remember when spiderman DIED AND WAS REBORN AND NOW IS STRONGER AND HAS MORE POWERS.

and this is the core characters. i once browsed all female heroes out of boredom and some of the history they give mutants is fucking insane.

hey let's take a look at the x-men titles that have existed:

Uncanny X-Men • X-Men vol. 2 • Astonishing X-Men • Exiles • Generation X • Excalibur • New Mutants • New X-Men • X-Factor • X-Men Unlimited • Ultimate X-Men • X-Force • X-Statix • X-Treme X-Menname the teams, smart guy. wait. maybe i should specify a year. not good enough, need a month, too?

let's look at ONE x-man and his history. wolverine maybe:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wolverine_(comics)

...neverfuckingMIND.
 
i better state this for you. MARVEL FUCKS WITH ORIGINS.

Not cool. Wolverine went from being able to heal, to being IMMORTAL. motherfucker's been burnt right to his adamantium bone. i don't even know how the fuck he got the adamantium back after bone claws.

The biggest point that DC might screw with is "was batman's murderer caught?".
 
I like how Archangel went from white with feathers, to blue with metal wings, to blue with feathers, back to white with feathers and HEALING POWERS!!??.:erk:
 
you actually seem genuinely upset. which is understandable, i guess. considering what you like is actually wrong. regardless of all the heavy continuity in the dc universe, you can still get into most books at any given time. none of that superman past really has affected the title. batman's. anyone's, i believe. i'll focus on batman for now, since i'm most familiar with him. this is his last fifteen years:
had his back broken
was replaced
returned
gotham is poisoned (contagion)
earthquake hits gotham (cataclysm)
no man's land
big fugitive/murderer fiasco
hush
war games and war crimes
that crazy fucking red hood fiasco
but they're all immensely isolated arcs. the core hasn't changed at all. superman's the same. he's always got some powered goon to fight. wonder woman, to my knowledge, is obviously greek driven and to my knowledge they use it to enhance her world. i'm sure it's not jaw jarringly complex if you're reading fucking comics.
i have to mention here, your analysis of the batman and son arc is a fucking joke. talia. daughter of the fucking demon's head: ra's. NOT random. she's been one of the handful of close lovers to bruce that know his identity. along with vicki vale, silver st cloud, selina kyle. they're actually MENTIONED in that arc. and the kid hearkens back to a hugely controversial arc called Batman: Son of the Demon. or maybe it was Bride. whatever. i'll admit the blindfold was redundant. but the kid isn't familiar with "bruce wayne: billionaire". he was raised in the league in fucking tibet or something.
flash might be complicated. i know they're on the third flash. but he's been around for awhile.
jla and titans are pretty easy, man. jla was vast until the mid 80's or so. then it broke and things became horrendously messy until grant morrison came and brought awesome again. then it remained constant for almost ten years. it's only recently that the league dissolved and they're making a new one right now. teen titans were constant all through the 80's. again, nineties DC became VERY marvel-like and fucked around. but toward the end of that young justice bullshit they got their act together and created an awesome titans. infinite crisis broke them up and the title has been exploring the identity of the titans the last year. and it's actually an awesome run. i think geoff johns is writing it. doing great!
ten years is a long fucking time. show me ten years of constant avengers or x-men. and those titles are just unbearably convoluted. look at the fucking marvel universe. wait, which one? earth 616 or the ultimates? maybe house of M? is it the year 2099 yet? or maybe it's THE END?
who's daredevil btw? and is parker the real spidey? where are spidey's villains anyhow... fighting hulk? probably. storm is married to the fucking black panther. THEY'RE in the F4. you know punisher is playing captain america these days, right? and hulk was banished from earth or something and he's about prime to wage a war. is spiderman's black costume the symbiote... wait no, it was just a costume and he hid it at a fucking bell in webbing that lasts a fucking decade and can weather any storm. oh, and how's venom doing these days anyhow? wait, which venom... does he still have terminal cancer? can't remember. hey, remember when spiderman DIED AND WAS REBORN AND NOW IS STRONGER AND HAS MORE POWERS. and this is the core characters. i once browsed all female heroes out of boredom and some of the history they give mutants is fucking insane. hey let's take a look at the x-men titles that have existed: Uncanny X-Men • X-Men vol. 2 • Astonishing X-Men • Exiles • Generation X • Excalibur • New Mutants • New X-Men • X-Factor • X-Men Unlimited • Ultimate X-Men • X-Force • X-Statix • X-Treme X-Menname the teams, smart guy. wait. maybe i should specify a year. not good enough, need a month, too?

let's look at ONE x-man and his history. wolverine maybe:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wolverine_(comics)

...neverfuckingMIND.

i remember the Earthquake and the no man's land (did the city just rebuild itself or what?) and who the fucking hell was batgirl in the scene where batgirl and Barbera Gordon are looking at each other?
wonderwoman being "greek driven" would be okay, it's just gotten a little ecxessive
i know that the mother of bruce wayne's kid is talia daughter of Ra's Al Goul, what i was saying that maybe, they should have made the mother of bruce wayne's kid a random woman, instead of the kid's existence being a throwback to the story arc where the existance of Batman is supposedly prophesised in some ancient text
they're not on the 3rd Flash, this one's the 4th
when i said the jla was hard to follow, i meant that almost every single fucking hero character in DC was in jla in the early 80s, that was stupid, that would be like every single hero character in the Marvel world being in the Avengers
spiderman's been around non-stop since 63, X-men has been kinda "on and off" but definately much more consistantly present than Avengers
the "alternate universes" are an expansion on a concept originally apearing in Superman (universe where everyone knows that Superman is Clark Kent, universe where Superman doesn't exist because he's afraid of getting killed and discected by scientists, universe where evil SUperman is a total tyrant and Lex Luthor is the Mayor of Metropolis)
Daredevil has always been Mathew Micheal Murdoch (in so far as i can remember) Peter Benjamin Parker is Spiderman, Ben Riley had Spiderman's powers because he was a clone of peter parker (the way that Gambit was a clone of Cyclops) the webbing is synthetic (in the main marvel continuity) so yes it's feasible that he could have made a webbing that coulf have lasted more than a decade. the death and rebirth of spiderman was explained as his esscence (and a little bit of flesh) crawling out of his body the way that some spider's "shed their skin" the death and rebirth made sense when i read it.
the X-men being complicated is a legitamite complaint
the X-men is more complicated that the rest of the marvel universe put together
 
hey remember how nick fury turned into a black man?

I FUCKING DON'T.

the idea was that in alternate universes, mullatto children would have different skin tones, (based on ideas in Chaos Theory), so the original concept of Nick Fury being black in the begining of the "Ultimates" title was just to show the readers that the "Ultimates" were living in an alternate reality seperated from the main marvel continuity
Nick Fury being so ridiculously prominent in the "ultimate" reality (Ultimate X-men / Ultimate Spiderman) was something that happened later