Never ever judge me....
Aug 15, 2001
west midlands
She appeared to me in a dream.
She was me, but she was broken.
She had eyes that did not see,
A voice that could not laugh.
She was scared,
but didn’t know what she was hiding from.
My questions had no answers.
I wanted to run from her,
but compelled myself to stay,
to watch her cry.
I felt so helpless because I knew I was becoming her.
The vision was a disturbance.
Her eyes told me she was dying.
A virus held her.
It had drained her of her will to live,
to be loved.
She was trapped in a morbid embrace
from which she could not break free.
I knew how she wept.
She felt so degraded.
A shadow fell on her face,
and her lament began once more.
Only when she cried was she able to see me.
Before then, I had been insignificant.
I forced myself to advance,
but she feared me.
Every step I took caused her to step back.
My attempts to pacify caused her to scream.
That sound I can never forget.
All her pain and grief,
combined to transform her into a banshee.
I fell to my knees
and could not stand again.
My hands were bound in cruel chains.
I was now the helpless one,
though she was powerless to help me.
She too was chained, but I could not tell.
I heard a voice, displaced, distorted.
“This is what you are becoming.
Do you wish to become so wretched?”
I didn’t understand.
How could this be me?
The voice answered my question
though they remained trapped inside my mind.
“Your thoughts shall surely damn you.
You are reckless with yourself
and careless with the hearts of others.
Your downfall in imminent.”
The voice was silent.
Again, I was confronted with her screams.
She broke her chains, and came towards me.
She flailed her arms and fell, sprawling on the floor before me.
Looking up, she murmured through broken teeth.
“Mortality…precious…never live again.
Blessed…those who live in peace.
Change your ways…or this…you will become.”
I turned and ran.
I did not know where I was running to,
all I knew was that I had seen enough.
I had no desire to see what I was to become
after I had become wretched.
I ran from my fears, forgetting everything,
far into the darkness
to escape the sight of my future.
My demise.

written by Amy