Blender Magazine - Worst Lyricists Article

and queensryche's "someone else?"

when i fell from grace i never realized
how deep the flood was around me
a man whose life was toil was like a kettle left to boil
and the water left these scars on me

the chains i wore were mine, dragging me towards my fate
planned for me long ago

i played by all their rules, went to their right schools

who was i to question?

they used to say i was nowhere man
heading down was my destiny
but yesterday i swear that was
someone else not me

here i stand at the crossroad's edge
afraid to reach out for eternity
one step when i look down
i see someone else, not me

and as for kiedis' lyrics...well yeah, they have always been very obscure in a dadaist style, but so what? so are michael stipe's and kurt cobain's but they arent on the list??

damn im pissed :mad:
 
Something else I found funny was that I looked around the site at the 50 worst songs and the 50 worst artists, and basically all three of these lists are the exact same artists. It's clear the same guy writes them all and it's clear he just has 50 artists he dislikes that he turns into an article over and over. Pretty lame.
 
Its always been fairly difficult to get across a personal message through music without sounding like a pretentious chowder head. Especially things to do with war/politics etc. the guys do it in a meaningful and soulful way, so that does make it sound pretty pretentious/arrogant trying to heighten awareness for the common man etc etc.. But an artist like don mclean for example with that overplayed american pie tune, he actually wrote some lyrics that were about the state of america and music in general but i dont think it came over pretentious at all. Sounded kinda fun to me.
 
Ahaha Don, chillax!
Clearly this list is not very good.. I can think of plenty of worse lyricists.. All the one hit wonder acts etc..
The article is doing what it's designed to do, cause outrage and discussion.
 
Glad to see Spinal Tap didn't make the list. They have the best lyrics ever!

Not that they're a real band or anything...

Anyway, I know Opeth isn't mainstream enough to have made this list, but what do you think of Mikael's lyrics in general? I don't think he likes much of their earlier stuff, hearing the way he has talked about certain songs (like TNATSW). But I think they're pretty good myself.
 
...no Kirk Hammett? "My lifestyle determines my deathstyle, a rising tide that pushes to the other side" :lol:

wwallinga said:
Glad to see Spinal Tap didn't make the list. They have the best lyrics ever!

Not that they're a real band or anything...

Anyway, I know Opeth isn't mainstream enough to have made this list, but what do you think of Mikael's lyrics in general? I don't think he likes much of their earlier stuff, hearing the way he has talked about certain songs (like TNATSW). But I think they're pretty good myself.
Click to expand...
I think he writes insanely cool lyrics. I like his metaphorical ideas.
 
Don Corleone said:
from
smashing pumpkins - "shame"

you're gonna walk on home
you're gonna walk alone
you're gonna walk so far
you're gonna wonder who you are

sting - "it's probably me"

if the night turned cold and the stars looked down
and you hugh yourself on the cold cold ground
you wake the morning in a stranger's coat
no one would you see

you ask yourself, who'd watch for me
my only friend, who could it be
it's hard to say it
i hate to say it, but it's probably me

when your belly's empty and the hunger's so real
and you're too proud to beg and too dumb to steal
you search the city for your only friend
no one would you see
Click to expand...

i was in the middle of listening to "it's probably me" when i read this post :)
 
chrisdoig24k said:
My baby fits me like a
Flesh tuxedo
I like to sink her with my
Pink torpedo!!

Best line ever :p
Click to expand...

No the best ever is......

Big bottoms, big bottoms
talk about bumm cake my girls got'em
Big bottoms get me out of mind
How could I leave this behind...

beautiful use of metaphor in the last word of teh stanza...such poetic,inquisitive lyricism...only a genious like David St. Hubbens couldve written...hahaha...!!!!....PEAC EOUT
 
I personally prefer the mud flaps stanza.

Not to mention this classic:

You're sweet but you're just four feet
And you still got your baby teeth
You're too young and I'm too well hung
Tonight I'm gonna rock you
Tonight I'm gonna rock you
Tonight I'm gonna rock you
Tonight I'm gonna rock you
Tonight!
 
The elves are dressed in leather
And the angels are in chains
(Christmas with the Devil)
The sugar plums are rancid
And the stockings are in flames
(Christmas with the Devil)
There's a demon in my belly
And a gremlin in my brain
There's someone up the chimney hole
And Satan is his name
The rats ate all the presents
And the reindeer ran away
(Christmas with the Devil)
There'll be no Father Christmas
'Cause it's Evils holiday
(Christmas with the Devil)
No bells in Hell
No snow below-
Silent Night, Violent Night
So come all ye unfaithful
Don't be left out in the cold
You don't need no invitation, no...
Your ticket is your soul


Spinal Tap's "Christmas... with the Devil".
 
Apparently, Blender has no tolerance for prog-rock at all...nearly all the "worst" lists have progressive bands and their members in it. They even chose ELP as the second worst band in history lol...I love ELP.
 
That article is ridiculous. I agree that it MAYBE is the worst lyrical moments.... It's far more shocking, though, to call out supposed "masters". I mean, I'm surprised they didn't find a way to include Dylan, you know?

I do agree that Bernie Taupin's "Your Song" is bad writing, though. I've complained about it to many people, and they're all like, "But that's what makes it a good song!" ???? I think it's my number one in terms of worst lyrics by a mega popular artist of good repute (yeah, there are bad DM lyrics...but, duh. Of course.)


Your Song (last verse)
pitifully written by Bernie Taupin

So excuse me forgetting but these things I do
You see I've forgotten if they're green or they're blue
Anyway the thing is what I really mean
Yours are the sweetest eyes I've ever seen

So the point of the song is that he's just a humble songsmith with little but a song to give to his love. I get it. But does this songwriter have to suck on top of it? I mean, not only does he take up a lot of space by saying nothing (Elton may as well just go "uhhhhh...." for about a verse), using some unmelodious words ("anyway the thing is what I really mean"), but he makes the imaginary songsmith so stupid that he doesn't know the color of his love's eyes and ADMITS IT in the gift of a song. Ugh. Pretty music, and bless Reg, he sings it like he means it. But to have to sing such drivel.... yuck.
 
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