co-opting the memory of a friend

[minxnim]

if they had great brattleboro it'd be much nicer than the brattleboro that has a crappy mental hospital.
p.s. my mom was born in vt
p.p.s. i would just tell your friend i was sleeping with you *(!!)
p.p.p.s. i'd have made a scene before leaving

 

[goatschool]

an asterisk lost to the funnels of time!!!

 

[lizard]

my mom won an indoor archery championship in VT when we lived outside middlebury.

my mom once shot a fox through the head with an arrow at forty yards.

my mom rules.

 

[xfer]

i have the Archery merit badge and rock with a bow.

 

[lizard]

I used to love archery. I should change my last name to Fletcher.

 

[minxnim]

wtf is archery coming up for?
that * was an accident. woops/.

 

[xfer]

yeah i have no idea where lizard pulled that shit out from. i just ran with it.

 

[Bobby_Teenager]

I think you should MXXXX TXXXX with the SXXXX and PXXXX although it may not be DXXXX.

 

[lizard]

my mind made one of those ADD non sequiturs, Vermont -> our house that always smelled of burnt feathers from my dad making arrows -> archery -> mom=stone killer

 

[xfer]

whoa bobby teenager de-lurks!

 

[azal]

bobby teenager is my fav intranet nick name.

 

[minxnim]

archery < nix's issue here

 

[chupe666]

hm. i had a good friend who died about 3 yrs ago now, rather (seemingly) abruptly. he was a very young painter/artist, and to think about his paintings being used in a similar way would bug the crap out of me. i have felt (similarly to nick) that in dealings with people he knew from art school and other places, that they were sort of speaking for him/of him when they didn't really know him that well, and it frustrated the crap out of me.

example: he actually used to do the radio show with me & a couple other friends for like 3 years. his parents asked the other guys from the show (his 2 closest friends) to go through his things/cds/stuff. a few weeks later, at a get-together with kids from his art school sifting through his pile of cds, which were largely metal and industrial, going "What's this sound like? I've never heard of it." when it was a cd i had seen/heard on a weekly basis for like 2-3 years. like to them, they were just cds piled up for the taking when to me they held lots of memories (including all the times i'd busted his chops like "I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU LIKE ANGIZIA. YOU ARE SUCH THE GAYXOR."- just guys being friends and making fun of each other stuff, etc.). i felt like slapping the crap out of them for unwittingly pilfering territory they shouldn't have.

 

[minxnim]

hm. i had a good friend who died about 3 yrs ago now, rather (seemingly) abruptly. he was a very young painter/artist, and to think about his paintings being used in a similar way would bug the crap out of me. i have felt (similarly to nick) that in dealings with people he knew from art school and other places, that they were sort of speaking for him/of him when they didn't really know him that well, and it frustrated the crap out of me.

example: he actually used to do the radio show with me & a couple other friends for like 3 years. his parents asked the other guys from the show (his 2 closest friends) to go through his things/cds/stuff. a few weeks later, at a get-together with kids from his art school sifting through his pile of cds, which were largely metal and industrial, going "What's this sound like? I've never heard of it." when it was a cd i had seen/heard on a weekly basis for like 2-3 years. like to them, they were just cds piled up for the taking when to me they held lots of memories (including all the times i'd busted his chops like "I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU LIKE ANGIZIA. YOU ARE SUCH THE GAYXOR."- just guys being friends and making fun of each other stuff, etc.). i felt like slapping the crap out of them for unwittingly pilfering territory they shouldn't have.

this post is the story of my life. i'm feeling it bigtime.

 

[chupe666]

sorry, i guess i still didn't really address nick's concerns except to say that i've felt the same.

i guess if you still had some sort of semblance of friendship with those putting the deal on, maybe consider going if only for a little bit or just an appearance. otherwise, i'd consider skipping like you already are. sorry it's a situation you have to be in.
people suck. period.

 

[Helm]

That's pretty crazy. In the 14th it's the fourth anniversary of a close friend's death also, and as it happens, there has been notice that several people who were either friends of his, or are saying they where his friends, are planning a get-together and 'discuss' and it makes me feel pretty wierd. I could never go to any of these things. As the funeral, they remind me that social expressions of grief can be the most selfish thing.

One particular person, scarily close to his death, approached the family and asked to get the person's hard drives so as to fish for the self-made music inside and publish it in some way to his memory. The parents, well, the father agreed. The mother sort of lost her mind after the death of her son. I found the whole hard drive buisness to be extremely insulting, and I'd like to think that my friend would have too, but then isn't supposing that basically as valid as any supposition by anyone else? As valid as that other guy that thought he'd want his half-finished music published?

That's basically the thing, you can't take a strong stance about any of this, because you'd be doing what all these other people are doing. Everybody thinks they're doing what 'he'd want to' but the truth is a dead man doesn't want. The whole concept of 'if he were alive' is extremely complicated and sad. Rememberance is just a constant underlining of how unreal death feels to the living. I do not want to listen to posthumously put together music that reminds me of that. And people who do, or help towards the publication of such I think probably find a specific comfort in reminding people that in death we are all equally ignorant.

 

[goatschool]

chupe, no apologies. that's why i made this thread. any thoughts are good, and what you've expressed has made me think. thank you.

helm, i am going to have more to say on what you just posted, but let me think about it for a while.