Confidence

[Belial]

My God! I just wrote two long posts about the importance of being in touch with your emotions... I am so GAY!

 

[Jannet]

The problem is, psychologists have a stigma attatched to them, especially to those who think like you do, that seeing them makes you crazy or too weak to deal with your own problems, which is not true.

I never said that seeing a psychologist is sign of weakness or craziness. I definitely don't think like that.

They hold that same "that's what shrinks are for" ideology. Indeed they usually tell me to shut up and shame me if I mention anything bad that's on my mind.

The way you described your family, it sounds very disfunctional and I hope you can get out of that situation very soon. Anyone who tells anyone to shut up when someone is opening up and telling them their mind is a selfish idiot, and very cold-hearted. I used my "at work" example because we are all adults, and basically no one knows anyone else's business, personal or emotional wise, unless they want to talk about it. And the sad part also, is that because of this "stigma" attached to psychologists, people DON'T see them enough! Basically, I am a realist. I see the world as it is and not through rose-colored glasses. But please, many of my opinions are about how things actually ARE, not my own personal feelings about things. Believe me, if I could take problems, emotional baggage away from everyone on this earth, I would do it without hesitation. So don't think because I came off with a "I don't care" attitude about the topic that is the way I am. I am just describing how it is in this world, and since you have experienced it, I see you understand where I'm coming from.

 

[Belial]

Originally posted by Jannet

I never said that seeing a psychologist is sign of weakness or craziness. I definitely don't think like that.

I know. I was merely trying to point out the stigma that's attatched to seeing a psychologist.

The way you described your family, it sounds very disfunctional and I hope you can get out of that situation very soon. Anyone who tells anyone to shut up when someone is opening up and telling them their mind is a selfish idiot, and very cold-hearted. I used my "at work" example because we are all adults, and basically no one knows anyone else's business, personal or emotional wise, unless they want to talk about it. And the sad part also, is that because of this "stigma" attached to psychologists, people DON'T see them enough! Basically, I am a realist. I see the world as it is and not through rose-colored glasses. But please, many of my opinions are about how things actually ARE, not my own personal feelings about things. Believe me, if I could take problems, emotional baggage away from everyone on this earth, I would do it without hesitation. So don't think because I came off with a "I don't care" attitude about the topic that is the way I am. I am just describing how it is in this world, and since you have experienced it, I see you understand where I'm coming from.

I agree... they are selfish idiots.

I know what you mean, life can sometimes be a real whore. In my opinion, all the emotional baggage in the world has a purpose. It helps to build character. I noticed that among the people I've met, those who's life has been shitty to them wound up being the most well-adjusted, while those who had it easy had a very rude awakening when they were faced with reality. A friend once said: "Life's a big whore, but that also means you can force her to give you oral pleasure in the future." As sexist as that is, I agree with the message behind it.

 

[Opet]

OK, instead of quote many times, I just did this.

Misanthrope: “Somehow this is the first time that while i do not care much for myself i just feel like every idiot that makes fun of my fatass out there or every girl that laughs at my funny messed up hair is not even worthy of my atention all togheter...”

Well, that’s a turn for the better IMO. Who needs them. Who needs their approval. If you did, it’d be like falling prey to their little game.

MindzI: “...it's that shyness factor that prevents me from doing it I guess.. any tips?”

Yeah, right. Shyness never faded in me yet. Maybe it I “get to know them really well” but even then I’ll still have bouts of shyness. It’s seems neverending. You’ll have to want it bad enough to finally work up the nerve to ask out a girl. Let your guard down and just do it. Does it get easier the more you do it? It must. I could never bring myself to do it. Talk about putting your pride on the line. Oops. I was trying to help. I failed. Let me say this. To some shyness seems attractive.

Oh, guys? Before you ask a girl out, do you homework. Find out if she’s got a boyfriend first. Find out as much as you can. That’s key...if you want to save yourself the embarressment of hearing “I already have a boyfriend.”

Leadfoot: Confidence in a can.

Yet I wanted to talk to this guy once so bad but couldn’t get the nerve. I grabbed my beer and thought “Hm. Confidence in a can?” After a few, I realized that I’d only think I was being confident, but I’d look like a drunk bitch. Ah well. It worked.

I can usually relate to the more detailed post from Belial too. I like the way you word your feelings. I tend to agree. Not always, but most times.

Thanks to Tenebrose for that quote. That was really cool and so true. It's important to accept certain things in our lives. It helps people move past difficult times/thoughts.

YoYa: “you can walk past someone in the street that you never spoke more than a sentence to and was one of those 'im to cool for you' type people, and theyll be happy to see you and no longer have such an attitude.”

I had people that didn’t like me at school. I remember thinking that they were the only reasons I ever hated going. I’ve seen a few since and when I do now, I want to treat them the way they treated me. I want to give them dirty looks and walk the other way when they say “Hi” like that. Revenge!

Kittarin: “My self esteem tends to vary depending on how I look.”

Looks. You too? Yeah, it’s a bit different, but it’s still looks! I can understand it though. Isn’t that what they say? When you look good you feel good.

”Do not turn your face towards me,
Confronting me with my loneliness.

 

[Jannet]

In my opinion, all the emotional baggage in the world has a purpose. It helps to build character. I noticed that among the people I've met, those who's life has been shitty to them wound up being the most well-adjusted, while those who had it easy had a very rude awakening when they were faced with reality.

So, so true! Ok, I take it back, I DON'T wish to take anyone's emotional baggage away.

 

[Russell]

Originally posted by YaYoGakk
Its far easier to escape it after school, its hard to realise looks/image/whatever dont matter when youre teased every day, the same continues into workplaces i guess, but ive seen a lot of people get past the whole deal as soon as they leave school

Quite true, but we're talking about teenagers, not necesarily schoolgoers

usually, who is cool or not, who is ugly and who is not, no matter what you do. Kids tend to try to cater to the cool crowd or take abuse from them just so they could feel like they're IN. Or they take the opposite route and try to have feelings of grandeur against the "cool" crowd to make themselves feel better about themselves

Yes, I'm not disputing that happens, but I've seen it happen a lot in groups that aren't teenagers. Its just as common in twenty-somtheings. I also find it varies with the environment. I mean I'm at a 6th form college, and I was surprised because since I've been here I have not found a single on of those "cool" groups

Therefore I still think its an innacurat generalisation

 

[Blackspirit]

Originally posted by Kittarin
My self esteem tends to vary depending on how I look. It's pretty messed up. This is basically because i always was an ugly kid (at least i think so - then again, doesn't everyone?) and I had horribly frizzy hair. In recent years, I made the huge discovery that - gasp! - when i put lots of gunk in my hair, it goes curly - and looks awesome. Now, somehow I look like a completely different person when i curl my hair, and wear contacts. So those are the days that i feel most confident.

This is a very important factor in feeling good a bout yourself.
Looks matter! The bad hair days are horrible aren't they?
And when your favourite pair of trousers are in the laundry,
but this was the day you wanted to wear them, etc.
If you feel like your hairdo is perfect one way, and maybe you
got some new clothes , you feel like you own the world.

If you think "I look SO GREAT today" this is also what shines
from you, and other people sense it....

So, if you tell yourself "my god I look ugly" that's how you
will feel, and the other way around. We need to think the
right things, to feel the right way ) So what you wrote isn't
all that shallow, it's just a way of life )