Depression

[Notuern]

Just need to vent here guys, so if you dont want to listen to me crying like an emo fagot you might want to leave this thread right now.

Thought it was gone forever, but its clearly not.
I dont want to go in to details, but my life has been a struggle as long as i can remember.. and this year ive had some of the best days of my fucking life.
Sweden Rock Festival was one of them: All of my best friends just hanging out, even when a fucking hurricane struck us we still sat outside drinking, laughing and just having the greatest time of our lives.

Midsummer: Me and my closest friends sat out in our vacation house blasting music through a PA-system, eating good food, drinking LOADS of beer and we where just having a blast.. there was just something special with the mood this evening that just stuck with me.

Now i just came back from seeing Loudness here in Sweden, we had a blast in the hotel before the show, went out and had a few drinks and then got to see a band none of us ever thought we would get to see(We are 80's hairmetal fagots for those of you who dont know me.).
Then we went back to the hotel with Loudness axeman Akira Takisaki and kept the party going.

Now im back, and i fucking hate my life.
Im back to sitting at home alone having no energy to do anything, no friends around me(Cant get to them either.).. almost my entire family is gone atm.
Its not that its really bad right now, its just that this year i have kept going between some of the worst days of my life right over in to what absolutely without doubt has been the greatest days of my life, just to get back to being locked in to a fucking cage of loneliness and misery again.. and everything just surfaces you know.

Im sorry for going on here sounding like a fucking crybaby, but i feel really lost and dont know what the fuck to do with my self at the moment. :/

 

[Sickan]

Jag vet ju inte om det ligger något bakom detta, men jag kan verkligen rekommendera KBT (vårdcentralen är worst). Det kanske inte får dig att må bättre på direkten, men du lär dig vart de eventuella problemen ligger och hur du kan motverka dem.
Stay strong <3

 

[Notuern]

Jag vet ju inte om det ligger något bakom detta, men jag kan verkligen rekommendera KBT (vårdcentralen är worst). Det kanske inte får dig att må bättre på direkten, men du lär dig vart de eventuella problemen ligger och hur du kan motverka dem.
Stay strong <3

Jag har övervägt KBT tidigare, det kanske är dags att ta tag i skiten.
Och det som ligger bakom vill jag inte gå ut med riktigt offentligt, men mycket problem i skolan osv. som helt enkelt har sabbat hela min framtid kan man säga.
Det värsta är dock att pendla mellan att må så extremt jättebra i korta perioder, och så dåligt i långa.. det får de dåliga svackorna att bli så mycket värre.

Fänks sugarpuffz <3

 

[TheDriller]

I hear ya man,

I've learned to roll with it pretty well over time. never been to a doctor about it because i just don't fancy having that kind of a label on me.

At the moment i'm in one of the rougher patches with it.
Im sick and tired of absolutely everything, I do nothing aside from go to work and then come home and do nothing, and now that my audio computer shat itself i'm just wasting all my free time doing nothing.

for me its got a lot to do with the level of un-certainty in my life,
at the moment i know i'm being made redundant in just over a year, just after starting a rather cool job i find out that we're being made obsolete real soon.

back to having no future.

people keep yammering on about how uncertainty is an "opportunity" and a fresh start, blah blah.
from where im standing today the future is not full of promise or full of potential, its empty. entirely void.

the only real certainty is that it will be shit.

TL;DR = Depression is awesome.

 

[Notuern]

I hear ya man,

I've learned to roll with it pretty well over time. never been to a doctor about it because i just don't fancy having that kind of a label on me.

At the moment i'm in one of the rougher patches with it.
Im sick and tired of absolutely everything, I do nothing aside from go to work and then come home and do nothing, and now that my audio computer shat itself i'm just wasting all my free time doing nothing.

for me its got a lot to do with the level of un-certainty in my life,
at the moment i know i'm being made redundant in just over a year, just after starting a rather cool job i find out that we're being made obsolete real soon.

back to having no future.

people keep yammering on about how uncertainty is an "opportunity" and a fresh start, blah blah.
from where im standing today the future is not full of promise or full of potential, its empty. entirely void.

the only real certainty is that it will be shit.

TL;DR = Depression is awesome.

You expressed my feelings better then i could on my own: Uncertainty.
Uncertainty clouds everything, and whats left is everything that sucks and you forget even the smallest bright spots.

 

[TheDriller]

You expressed my feelings better then i could on my own: Uncertainty.
Uncertainty clouds everything, and whats left is everything that sucks and you forget even the smallest bright spots.

Aye,

and you're left feeling like you're standing at the bottom of the Atlantic.
just a crushing weight of doom over everything.

And the sun seems to be a little bit dimmer than it was yesterday.

 

[GarethSE]

The only real advice I have is to keep as busy as you possibly can.
Find something to live for, be it a musical project, a video game you're playing through, a tv series you're watching, whatever. These may sound like implements of time wasting to everyone else but anything that brings you joy is not to be sniffed at.

That, and go out and get some sun and some fresh air. We're all part of a massive ecosystem and we need the sun and we need clean air and pure water to survive at our fullest strengths.

If you're hurting for social interaction, join a club or something, if you're into say... writing, go to a book club and share your poems.

And if you can afford to, go for a break, even if it's just a weekend and on the cheap, get away from it all and bathe in not having a worry in the world. A little break can instill a sense of massive clarity in you and give you the strength to carry on for months to come, which is where I'm currently at.

My thoughts are with you man.

 

[iHate]

If you keep yourself busy and interact with people, you wont have time to be depressed and sulk in your misery.

Fact is, EVERYONE's future is uncertain.

The future is really what YOU make of it. Your future WILL be very shitty if you believe that "from where im standing today the future is not full of promise or full of potential, its empty. entirely void." You need to pull your head out of you know what. Life is not a 24/7 party; and even if it was you would get sick and tired of the party and be depressed anyways. Go learn something new, go to school if your not in school, pursue women, exercise if you don't, etc. Just keep yourself busy with fresh ideas and activities; it really works.

Just keep your head up and don't let yourself delve into the negative side of your mind.

 

[Felix Neumann]

If you keep yourself busy and interact with people, you wont have time to be depressed and sulk in your misery.

THIS! And @Gareth words +10000

 

[Sickan]

Det här med att du har sabbat din framtid pga skolan tror jag inte riktigt håller, jag har själv tre stycken i min klass som är tio år äldre än mig. Skolan kan du gå när som, really.

 

[plague_rider]

One thing i learned the hard way is that drinking won't help your situation...

i've had seasonal bouts of mild depression... i think i heard someone mention it like a man's-period... but around easter time i start to feel down and alone, no matter whats happening in my life... no idea why...

you'll pull through bud, just get yourself into something that'll keep your mind active...

 

[muckypup1]

If you keep yourself busy and interact with people, you wont have time to be depressed and sulk in your misery.

Fact is, EVERYONE's future is uncertain.

The future is really what YOU make of it. Your future WILL be very shitty if you believe that "from where im standing today the future is not full of promise or full of potential, its empty. entirely void." You need to pull your head out of you know what. Life is not a 24/7 party; and even if it was you would get sick and tired of the party and be depressed anyways. Go learn something new, go to school if your not in school, pursue women, exercise if you don't, etc. Just keep yourself busy with fresh ideas and activities; it really works.

Just keep your head up and don't let yourself delve into the negative side of your mind.

Thats exactly what I've had to do to try and beat my depression, its fucking sucks.

The only real advice I have is to keep as busy as you possibly can.
Find something to live for, be it a musical project, a video game you're playing through, a tv series you're watching, whatever. These may sound like implements of time wasting to everyone else but anything that brings you joy is not to be sniffed at.

That, and go out and get some sun and some fresh air. We're all part of a massive ecosystem and we need the sun and we need clean air and pure water to survive at our fullest strengths.

If you're hurting for social interaction, join a club or something, if you're into say... writing, go to a book club and share your poems.

And if you can afford to, go for a break, even if it's just a weekend and on the cheap, get away from it all and bathe in not having a worry in the world. A little break can instill a sense of massive clarity in you and give you the strength to carry on for months to come, which is where I'm currently at.

My thoughts are with you man.

Again, this is probably the best advice here. Staying busy is the only way I'm able to keep myself from dwelling on misery

Aye,

and you're left feeling like you're standing at the bottom of the Atlantic.
just a crushing weight of doom over everything.

And the sun seems to be a little bit dimmer than it was yesterday.

Thats how I feel most of the time, and I can't ever really see hope in anything, especially when its around times like my bday or christmas where everyone is cheery and shit, all I can see is the miserable side of everything.

 

[narcossintese]

Sorry for asking, but are you using cocaine?

 

[muckypup1]

Sorry for asking, but are you using cocaine?

Who, me? I'm not, I'm just a miserable fuck, from my forum posts I might not seem like one, but every day is just another day I'm waiting to pass, music production gives me something to do to take my mind of my misery, but I've got constant tinnitus, and RSI pain, and i'm only 17, all I see is misery now...

 

[Jind]

Being an eternal optimist at heart, one would think that depression is something that would be counter to my nature, but my mind can play tricks on me at times and the black tendrils of negativity can begin to creep in when my brain has too much time to ponder my worldly place. I&#8217;ve been at war with physical illness most of my entire adult life, first a blood disorder, then two bouts of cancer. With physical illness come the negative thoughts associated with the distinct possibility of not surviving. Like most things in life, I&#8217;ve had my highs and I&#8217;ve had my lows, I&#8217;ve thought the cancer gone only to have it come back and have to start the fight all over again. Perhaps it&#8217;s the eternal optimist that pulls me through it all.

The moments I feel most low, I force myself to think of what I&#8217;ve won so far in this battle &#8211; nearly seven more years (so far) with my loved ones, my family, my wife and kids, and along with that the ability to make music and do the other things I enjoy. Inner strength has to start within as the title suggests. I&#8217;ve found strength in me I never knew I had, I&#8217;ve found comfort in music, both melody and lyrics.
I&#8217;m not a man of faith so I have to seek out earthly reasons to persevere. Being without faith does not make me faithless however &#8211; &#8220;I still cling to hope and I believe in love&#8221; as Neil Peart of Rush wrote in the song &#8220;Faithless&#8221; and &#8220;that&#8217;s faith enough for me&#8221;. Aside from using corny quotes from Rush to make a point, I&#8217;m trying to say you need to find your own fate, your own reasons to get up each day and greet the sun. Life hands us nothing and our lives are a result of the choices we make (and don&#8217;t make as &#8220;If you choose not to decide, you still haven't made a choice&#8221. I tend to look to music for my analogies for life and Rush has provided me much guidance and direction in finding my way through the jungle of negativity I find myself in at times, be it songs like &#8220;Subdivisions&#8221; when I was feeling like an outcast in High School, or &#8220;The Pass&#8221; when I was &#8220;walking on a razor&#8217;s edge&#8221; after being told the cancer had come back &#8211; music and family have been my hope, my faith.

OK, OK, I&#8217;ll try to limit the Rush lyrics from here on out, but if there is a man who can teach us about perseverance it is Neil Peart of Rush. You probably already know this, but in 1996, Neil lost two loved ones, first his daughter in a tragic car accident, and then less and a year later his common-law wife of 22 years Jacqueline died of cancer. He sat in his home for months thinking about ending it all &#8211; he had no interest in music any more, he had little interest in anything. To keep from ending his life, he knew something had to change, he had to take fate into his own hands and as he describes in the book &#8220;Ghost Rider: Travels on the Healing Road&#8221; he describes the process of building up his &#8220;little baby soul&#8221; as he calls it, with a journey of 55,000 miles across most of North America, finding a new life beyond what he once thought he had. It&#8217;s much more than the travelogue it reads as, it&#8217;s really a story of making our own reasons, making our own fate. I&#8217;ve reread this book many times since getting cancer &#8211; even though it has nothing to do with cancer per se, it is about finding reasons to live, finding mechanisms to get through each day, to get past the negative thoughts that arise in our heads when we have too much time to think. As others have said, you make life what it is, nothing in life is free &#8211; we all have to battle each day for the life we have &#8211; we have to keep moving to survive.

Don&#8217;t settle into your negative thoughts, don&#8217;t get comfortable with grief, find something to keep your mind busy because it&#8217;s those times when our minds are idle that we tend to become depressed &#8211; at least it is for me.

Fate is what we make it &#8211; our reaction to tragic circumstance is what we can control, and there is little else we do. The fact that you are reaching out to ones you consider friends is a good sign, the fact that people take the time to answer you is also a good omen. See, you have made your own fate by reaching out.

OK, enough of my love affair with Rush &#8211; it&#8217;s funny how much a single band and their music can mean to someone, but they truly have been a guiding force in my life and it&#8217;s worth sharing with others.

So &#8211; if you are looking for some guidance follow these instructions:

1. Listen to copious amounts of Rush
2. Read &#8220;Ghost Rider: Travels on the Healing Road&#8221;
3. Another worthwhile read is Viktor E. Frankle&#8217;s &#8220;Man&#8217;s Search for Meaning&#8221; (another tale of survival after tragic circumstances)
4. Keep reaching out to people you consider friends

I know, I&#8217;m the corny old guy of these forums, but I feel for you my friend, and I hope you know you always have friends here at the Andy Sneap forums to find solace in.

Be well my friend,

 

[Jackal_Strain]

Jind: Whenever I see a long post written by you, I know there's gonna be words of wisdom there.
I must say that you are quite inspirational, having such a positive outlook after what you've been through.
I just wanted to say that.

 

[GarethSE]

On the other side
"I'd hate to advocate drugs, alcohol or insanity to anyone but they've always worked for me." - Hunter S. Thompson

 

[Jackal_Strain]

I used to do drugs. I still do, but I used to, too..

 

[GarethSE]

WE ARE ALL IN THE SAME COSMIC BOAT FLOATING TOWARDS A LARGE ISLAND MADE OF ACID AND CANNABIS IN A UNIVERSAL OCEAN NAMED THE SNEAP FORUM

 

[AboutBlank]

A question, that bothers me for awhile is(fits the topic imo):
Is somebody of yours getting "depressed" when see old people?
Sometimes I get really, really sad.

I mean, we all now that life is short and you have to enjoy every second, but sometimes I cant get rid of my melancholy.