I don't have time to respond to the rest of your post but most of your comments on gender roles and expectations are so obsolete that it makes me wonder if you just hopped off a time machine from the 50s. Women are just expected to do housework and take care of children?
Dude, what year are you living in? Only the very affluent can even consider a stay at home parent these days and even then, both parents work. You're so far out in left field that it's not possible to have the conversation you're trying to have until you realize it's 2014.