Do you consider suicide a selfish act?

[Iki-ilkkuja]

Wrong but understandable.

 

[in_my_time_of_disease]

i've been trying to reply but i am experiencing computer difficulties. i am sorry for trying to breathe life into an old "shit" thread, but this is a subject which is constantly on my mind, and i sincerely lack a proper avenue in which to pursue such discussion... i don't have any friends. i'm basically living in solitary confinement, though i have the ability to move about as i please. i can go anywhere i want but i don't know where to go, how to get there or what to do. so i'm just trying to find conversation the only place i know where somebody will reply to me. i guess. sorry for talking about suicide on here, this forum should be for opeth and opeth only. i will shut up now and the admin dude can close/lock/delte this thread if need be. sorry once again.

Mate I think you have come to the wrong place to discuss this kind of thing.

 

[anarchy420]

Mate I think you have come to the wrong place to discuss this kind of thing.

i know dude and i've apologized for that a few times already. i was just browsing the forum and i saw something about suicide, and i had to respond, even if the thread is like 3 years old or whatever and is totally irrelevant to opeth and what their music stands for. i just don't seem to have anywhere else to go.
sorry once again

 

[Reelo]

Hey to all those bastards saying they don't care and this discussion should stop, I say fuck you! Suicide is serious business and if someone's got the balls to talk about it, seeking for discussion, telling them off is about the worst thing you can do. Nobody forces you to parttake in the discussion!

 

[in_my_time_of_disease]

i know dude and i've apologized for that a few times already. i was just browsing the forum and i saw something about suicide, and i had to respond, even if the thread is like 3 years old or whatever and is totally irrelevant to opeth and what their music stands for. i just don't seem to have anywhere else to go.
sorry once again

No criticism intended, I just think if you are prepared to talk about it, which is a good thing, this really isn't the place. I don't mean that in a literal term as in "this is the Opeth forum, Opeth only discussion" etc as in I would seek someone qualified in dealing with these kinds of issues imo. Because you posted to talk to us yes? And get some advice, whether that was conscious or not, thats why. There really isn't anyone here that I know of that can do what hasn't already been said. I can say all the "hand in there mate" etc comments which are good, but from what I can read it appears you should imo seek help with someone qualified in dealing with these kinds of issues.

 

[Lothlorien]

Am I the only one who is thinking:




















































SHIT THREAD?

i wouldnt call this a shit thread, but i dont think that a forum for a band is the place to discuss this.

personally, suicide is selfish and dumb to me, but i feel that the member in question who revived this thread should seek help from a local therapist or if you're religious a local priest/pastor. i dont think we're the ones who should be giving advice.

 

[in_my_time_of_disease]

^Exactly.

 

[outerone]

Ive been there before myself... feeling exactly like anarchy420.... its tough and really the person must battle it themselves, somehow. But like the people here said, your not a coward because your here writing about it, writing about how you feel is a b*tch sometimes.

I know this might sound stupid and hard but I would recomend all together taking off and switching scenery. I dont know how old you are and what your background is but take off and travel somewhere. You can always make a bigger commitment and join a global organisation like peace corps. I know that sounds cheesy and its might even sound hard to find a place or organisation like that. When I was feeling the way you are I forced myself to make a big change in life and scenery. And again that might seem hard because you said you have a job and family around... but the people will understand and jobs can be found everywhere. I dont know how much youve traveled either and that might seem extreme and hard but once your there (where your going) your whole view takes a major turn and things change. I mean you could even hop on a train or car and drive somewhere new. You might think that in the area you live in people have a set view of you and the surroundings, when you move this all changes, a fresh start. But plan well for it, even this process help, gives you a goal.

I might be crazy and this might not be such a good idea. It worked for me. Granted it was hard but after I was out there I started seeing things a whole lot different.

 

[The Wooden Doors]

yeah, out in the open. who's gonna read this but a couple of people who live hundreds if not thousands of miles away and are unable to really help me. i'm sorry, but i wish the words "hang in there" and "don't give up hope" actually meant something to me, but they don't. mere words alone cannot change my mind or my situation. don't get me wrong though, i do appreciate the sentiment and i wish there were more that i could do or say. to make anything better. but everything i ever do always seems to go wrong. i can't say that i haven't tried to get a girlfriend. but it's not like buying a fucking loaf of bread, although it seems to be that easy or easier for a lot of people. i guess everybody wasn't meant to have a mate. and i'm going to stop posting to this forum now, so please don't bother to flame me, i'm already gone.

People do care. I can give you a number to call, people will help you with this. Fuck, I'll give you my number if it stops you from killing yourself.

 

[anarchy420]

i am truly sorry, katatonic, and everyone else. i don't have any online friends or anything, no one to talk to, whatever. i was browsing the forum and i saw something about suicide, i had no idea that so many ppl would respond. i don't make enough money to afford an expert to talk to, i guess i just thought maybe i could find some fellowship or something witha fellow opeth fan. very sorry once again, i promise i will fuck off, as requested.

ps, i would like to be more than just a random dude on here, i mean i['m probably one of opeth's biggest fans, no i've never seen them live, i simply dont' make enough money to be able to afford tickets plus the gas to drive hundreds of miles to go see them whenever they come near alabama. yes i know they were just in florida, but i coudln't afford to see them there, that would have cost me at least $100. i don't have a hundred dollars to my name. but as far as bands that i like to listen to, i really don't enjoy listening to anything that isn't opeth, and i fully enjoy the experience of listening to every song opeth has ever played. that is something that i can say of no other band,. and music is pretty much the only thing in life that i enjoy and can regularly experience.

 

[JamesMetal]

I don't mean to throw a sob story on you guys, but my father killed himself and my mother attempted suicide. My father left the family with a mountain of debt, that is why I have given this question a lot of thought. Do I consider suicide a selfish act? I have decided for myself and my situation that people have chemical and enviornmental factors that impact a choice like suicide much more than any kind of greedy personality trait. In some cases people say it is a selfish act, in a case dealing with money or a lost loved one (my situation) but to those people I say a person willing to kill them self has a much deeper problem than a money issue or a lost love issue. I think suicide is a massive collection of traumatic events and problems with the brain, and people are not experiencing a "real" self pity when they kill themselves.

No, it's not selfish. He was at the end of his rope, felt he had no way to work out what ever he had to work out, felt he had no way out, and was completely depressed. Plus I agree with what you said. That's why people commite suicide. That's not selfish, it's a tragedy.

Very sorry to hear about your loss.

 

[outerone]

Naaaw

IMO if you want to talk about suicide etc go to a fucking forum that handles that subject. I dont come to a band forum to give some random dude a pepptalk, I dont know him and I dont care about his problems. If he needs to talk to somebody outside his social sector he should talk to an expert.

So please do me a favor and fuck off to a proper forum.

well you really dont have to spend time reading this stuff here. I mean when I come to this forum and tend to read the topics first and usually Im not so bored that I enter a discussion that sounds stupid to me. I tend to go for the ones that really want to read about. So you.... should really go **** off somewhere where 100% of what is written strokes your private parts!

 

[Katatonic89]

i am truly sorry, katatonic, and everyone else. i don't have any online friends or anything, no one to talk to, whatever. i was browsing the forum and i saw something about suicide, i had no idea that so many ppl would respond. i don't make enough money to afford an expert to talk to, i guess i just thought maybe i could find some fellowship or something witha fellow opeth fan. very sorry once again, i promise i will fuck off, as requested.

ps, i would like to be more than just a random dude on here, i mean i['m probably one of opeth's biggest fans, no i've never seen them live, i simply dont' make enough money to be able to afford tickets plus the gas to drive hundreds of miles to go see them whenever they come near alabama. yes i know they were just in florida, but i coudln't afford to see them there, that would have cost me at least $100. i don't have a hundred dollars to my name. but as far as bands that i like to listen to, i really don't enjoy listening to anything that isn't opeth, and i fully enjoy the experience of listening to every song opeth has ever played. that is something that i can say of no other band,. and music is pretty much the only thing in life that i enjoy and can regularly experience.

I did not direct that post at you.

You are welcome to be a part of the Opeth community but I think you should discuss Opeth when you are here.

We all have our share of problems and where Im from there are free helplines you can call to talk about these things, you should look around abit. I dont know how it is in USA though.

You seem to be a good guy so I hope you stick around on the forum even though jerks like me likes to be rude on the internet.

 

[MetalAges]

Thread cleaned.

Anarchy, i hope that you see there are many folks like yourself in here. Yes, we all have different levels of what and how we cope with things. The most important thing is to talk with someone about these things. Feel free to chat here, I would much rather that than have you not have anyone to talk to and do something you'd regret. I will say, there are numbers you can call to talk with folks and it doesn't cost a penny. I would definitely recommend that as well, it can only help.

Also, ignore all the haters who have nothing better to do than skip this thread and post in another thread that they may actually contribute to. They're the folks who who don't know when not to post, and will be asking me to delete their accounts in a couple years because of all the dopey posts they made over the years.

 

[A Step from Oblivian]

i know this is a very old thread, and it probably isn't a topic that belongs on the opeth forum, but since i am considerign suicide myself, and am bored and lonely, i figured i'd respond.

the thought of suicide can mean many different things to many different people. obviously, if you have loved ones in your life, you have to consider their feelings, but i feel they should also consider your feelings as well. i for one, dont' have a gf or wife or children or brothers or sisters, my dad died last year, i just have my mom and stepdad and although i know they would be deeply saddened by my suicide, i'm almost certain they can anticipate that it may come to that end someday. i have been very deeply depressed for most of my life, i don't respond well to any medication i've tried. i can't afford to seek correct medical care since i live in the us, so i figure self-medication is the best route for me at the moment, i smoke a lot of pot and drink a lot of beer. the beer doesn't help much. i also used to do excessive amounts of X and i may have already had a pre-existing mental illness. who knows? all i know is, i'm very very lonely and i want a girlfriend, but i don't posess the means or whatever it requires to aquire a girlfriend, and i'm pretty fucking sick of having to deal with people altogether, so i'm really looking now into suicide being probably my best option. i'm not religious and i don't believe in god or satan, heaven or hell, i believe that when you die, that's it, i don't believe in an afterlife. i'm just kinda nervous about actually propelling a bullet into my own brain, i know i won't feel any pain but the thought still kinda gives me shivers. plus there's the small chance i might not hit a crucial area of the brain and would still survive for a few hours.
i know most people will think that the inability to find a girlfriend is a stupid reason to want to commit suicide, but there's way more to it than that. i personally don't think i have what it takes, whatever that is, to attract a mate, plus the fact that i generally hate most people and i can't find any real reason why i should be alive. i mean i'm just wasting precious fossil feuls just by going to work and back home, which is basically all the travelling i do. nobody likes me, that' the god honest truth, really. i dunno why. there's gotta be something about me that girls don't like. one girl recently actually told me that it might be my negative attitude towards life, well this girl also has 2 kids. i don't have any kids and it doesn't look like i'm every going to have any, so tell me why i should care about myself? nobody likes me, and i mean that's the truth. i try to be a good person. maybe i;m just too ugly, i dunno. i truly do not know why i can't find the love that i think i require in order to live an actual life. people will say, just go out there, go to the bars, etc. yeah ok, that might actually be a good idea, if i were able to actually go out to a bar by myself, sit at the bar and drink beer until a woman appraoches me. yeah, ok. since i live in a relatively small redneck town in alabama, i don't see that happening, since i can't even approach a woman, even to ask her what fucking time it is. i just lack that social ability, so i feel there's no hope for me. that's why i want to commit suicide. end of essay,. sorry

I know that this was posted a while back and you probably wont reason with this but I went through a similar stage in my life. The thing is nothing in our lives is fixed we are always capable of changing even if your situation hasn't got better since you posted that you can't give up hope. I was in exactly the same position and I sorted my life out it's taken a long while and what I've come to realise is that people can change a lot especially with a bit of confidence. Perhaps your focusing on it too much. What you've got to remember is that it is never too late too turn your life around most things in life are psychological the relationship we have with our thoughts help to create the chemical imbalences in our brain that create emotions.if you believe you can do something your more likely to be able to do it that if you think negatively about it. The human mind is surprisingly powerful. Of course learning to think positively is easier said than done but as long as your feeling pessimistic its unlikely to get that much better however its never too late its easier said than done but it is sure to work eventually.when life appears to have no point or purpose it becomes very difficult to resist I suppose but there is almost always hope no matter how dire your situation is..........

 

[Kenneth R.]

Dude, maybe self confidence is an issue. There was a time when I would wander the city in the middle of the night alone cause I had nothing to lose. My girlfriend of 4 years had just left me for some other guy just before I was going to take the big step. But as calming as that reckless wandering was, eventually I got myself out of the situation and regained confidence. It took me a long time to get there, but I realized that as long as I perceived myself as a loser, other people perceived me as a loser. When I was able to come to terms with my situation and say to myself "yeah, she's gone, it's over. But FUCK her, she doesn't deserve me now." and move on, suddenly I became very popular. Things worked out for me, it was not an easy road but by changing my perception, I changed other peoples' perception of me.

 

[Sisyphus's Struggle]

Anarchy, although i could be milles and milles away from were you are, in another country, in other society and with different language, and wathever... but trust me, i really care for your current state right now... and i know that so many people could say that this is not the place to post stuff like that and wathever they want to say... but i really feel that you just doesn't want to stay the way you're actually in, and despite the loneliness you're experiencing and the hopeless mood you're in you came here to post this because you want/need help and find a comfortable solution, not just for you, but for your family too... one of the first question that come to my head is about your age... how old are you?, and what kind of things do you usually do (your rutine)?... one of the best thing you can do is to have confidence with/in your family, and yourself... i dont going to blame you for nothing and dont blame yourself, you have to realize all the things that you've been through, and how strong you've been to endure them, that's just the proof of your will to live, to create something... Although i know you dont even know, and barely understand (cause its in other language) and like this song.. i recomend you to read and understand the lyrics of a song by Silvio Rodríguez: "Sin hijo, ni árbol, ni libro" (Without son, nor tree, nor book)... i talks about how important its to everyone to create something, just let a mark in this world and put all your efforts to do so, You can change, at the same time that You change Others and The World... maybe you dont have a girlfriend, but you can make friends, improve your social abilities, tell your life story... and then all the others things came naturally... how do you know if there's a girl that really likes you, and you just don't notice?... you said that the medicine you've received doesn't work, and you're self medicating, well that make things even worse, and maybe that just not the answer... maybe you need to talk about all the things that surrounds you and happened to you... You can call to some number and get into therapy... maybe with your family... So you say that you just dont have any ability to overcome problems, but look at you, youre still there and want to get out... Well that's all i can say to you by now, i really hope you think about all this things with the clear mind, and excuse me for my english, its not my native tongue... Im also a Opeth Fan in an Opeth Forum, but that doesn't mean that we can't discuss more important things.. it all depends on the circumstances... Hold on dude!!

 

[opeth_353]

No, i don't consider suicide a selfish act.

Those who say 'it's selfish if someone cares for you' .. They're the selfish ones.

 

[Kenneth R.]

i know dude and i've apologized for that a few times already. i was just browsing the forum and i saw something about suicide, and i had to respond, even if the thread is like 3 years old or whatever and is totally irrelevant to opeth and what their music stands for. i just don't seem to have anywhere else to go.
sorry once again

Stop saying sorry. You can talk to me about this, Opeth, or anything else on any of my IM services listed below my name dude.

 

[Meanspark]

Suicide is just a personnal choice. I dont think the person is selfish.