Demiurge
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Final_Product said:
It depends. If it is philosophical then it's relevant, if it's scientific then not at all. Needless to say, we'll never know because we don't even know what the criticism is.
Do you know who your real friends are?
- Thread starter Oblivious Maximus
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It depends. If it is philosophical then it's relevant, if it's scientific then not at all. Needless to say, we'll never know because we don't even know what the criticism is.
Cat5Messiah
Violator of Sheep
I in fact, know who my friends are. I have been blessed (cursed) with an analytical sense. I believe that I can read people. Very well.
NP: Strapping Young Lad - All Hail the New Flesh
NP: Strapping Young Lad - All Hail the New Flesh
Demiurge
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I have no friends. There are people who think they are my friends, but are not. I haven't deceived them intentionally, it's rather that they encounter me in limited situations, so they never get past the most superficial level of my being. I'd say that they have not grasped my ethereal nature, but I understand them all too well. I don't intend for this to sound as though I am complaining that "no one understands me." I am perfectly content without a single friend until a worthy person comes along, even if it takes 30 years.
Demiurge said:
Almost those exact words were written by Leo Tolstoy by his character Andrei Bolkonsky in War and Peace. Strange that I can remember that so well.
I understand and appreciate your thoughts, but I suppose I moved past even dreaming of such a platonic friend: I think it impossible and pointless. Can anyone really know another fully? And if so, does one want to know another fully? I think not.
Strangely enough my greatest friendship is with an older married arab woman. Isnt that bizarre for a white boy from Cincinnati? But I tell you, I really get along with middle easterners, because once you get to know them, they are the most welcoming generous people in the world. Friendship still means something to them. I think I am going on to an FBI list now for these comments.
derek
Grey Eminence
Vital Remains
Just a Man
I feel as though a true friend is someone that doesnt just want to associate themselves with me to gain something. I Have only two real friends, but everyone else is just an aquantance that I say hello to, or talk to for a few moments in wal-mart if i spot them. But im just using them just like thay are using me.
Seikojin
Delver of time
- Nov 11, 2005
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I myself have a few good friends. I go through these phases where I will test the people I think could be true friends to me. Make sure they aren't saying they are my friend and mean they are liking me for some thing or some other motivating factor. Id say I know about 5 or 6 people that are true friends. Then I have friends that I would call a friend, but not a true friend. Tons of those. But after that there are aquaintences (sp) and suprisingly I don't have many of those people. Just about 20 or 30 people I'd say hi to and chat with, but don't share life goals/secrets with.
In my friends grouping there is about 12 people that I think could be true friends, but never had the chance to test the bond as it were. The rest of them I kinda know they wouldn't be good or true friends, so I deal with them as friend friends...
unsw1tchd
New Metal Member
no country for old wainds
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The Winnipeg Warrior
The Winnipeg Warrior ®
Demiurge said:
You sound like me. I don't even consider my wife my friend. I have colleagues and associates at work. Although we are friendly, they are not my friends. I don't associate with them outside that environment. Nor do I wish to. You draw a line and that's that.
Socially, it is much the same. I have acquaintances that are available for a variety of activities such as going to a ball game or checking out a concert. But I limit my committment to these people and want no obligation to be one of those pathetic characters in Cheers! that cannot get by without my mates around me 24/7. How sad.
At home, my wife is a business partner in our relationship. I'm with her because I "choose" to be with her. Not because I need her and would fall apart without her. And I prefer it this way. I was alone a long time before I met her and did quite well without her. My happiness and well-being and self-esteem do not rely on her.....they rely on me.
People place too much importance on friendship. Far too much IMO. Most people nowadays can't leave the house without their cell phones. They have to stay connected wherever they are.....walking down the street, grocery shopping, having dinner, seeing a movie, driving, or taking a bus. No one knows how to be alone by themselves anymore. You have to be your own best friend first. And learn to "not" be lonely when you are alone.
I can travel alone, see movies alone, see concerts alone, go to dinner alone. And never feel alone or lonely because I know how to communicate with strangers effectively at any given moment to strike up a conversation. That's a skill and an art. But 99% of the time, I prefer to be alone. People think I'm weak.....but I have more strength alone then they have in their numbers.
I came into this world alone, and that's how I'll leave it.
Hubster
...
speed said:
Someone hand this gentleman a medal - that must be one of the funniest posts I have seen in a long time.
Back on-topic:
In reference to above quote from Speed:
I must say, that despite my outbursts in the thread regarding Sydneys race riots, I had many middle eastern friends over the years, even been involved with a muslim woman (Turkish). Despite the flak they cop for their religion, they do indeed have a lovely culture, it is rich with many warmths and lovely families.
I will say that I have admiration for your admission of your friendship Speed, good for you and I'm sure it's a great friendship.
Back in reference to topic:
I'm finding that as I get older, friends are disappearing. More interestingly, so is my need for them. I used to love the company of people all the time, where as now I find myself waiting for a chance to be alone.
I feel, for the time being, that I discussed much of what I wanted to in university, and got all of the ponderous questions out of my system. Now, I feel I'm applying the lessons into my life, acting on those discussions with friends from ages past.
I do miss those friends, they were family to me and I loved them very much. However, I don't feel so desperate these days to have a group in my life, I feel content with mild solidarity.
LORD_RED_DRAGON
New Metal Member
byrne
Certavi et vici
Hubster
...
misfit said:
Give us your interpretation on this topic then Misfit.
PS - thats a non-aggressive request by the way.
What are your thoughts on this topic?
LORD_RED_DRAGON
New Metal Member
...and here's whyjudas69 said:
theory 1
humans are maleable (pychologicaly) anyone is pschologicaly cappable of doing anything it's just a matter of knowing how to "push" a specific person's "buttons" which are different from person to person (psychological individuality)
when a man is pushing a woman's buttons the man is reffered to as being "abusive" but when a woman is pushing a man's buttons the man is reffered to as being "pussy whipped" (ie the first post of this thread)
theory 2
"true freinds" don't exist because
all people are either
(A) mostly selfish
(B) mostly altruistic
the selfish person isn't really your freind because sooner or later (or perhaps constantly) the selfish person is going to do something that's selfish to the point of metaphoricaly "screwing" you
but
the altruistic person isn't really your freind either because he will eventualy (or again perhaps constantly) get himself into a situation where he's got to chose between pissing off one person or pissing off someone else
but if he is ALWAYS pleasing you to the point of pissing off others then he is no longer your "freind" because he's become your "slave"
theory 3
theory 1 and theory 2 are BOTH accurate
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