Do you wipe your arse standing up or sitting down?

[JayKeeley]

I always thought there was a trend in water levels so I put it down to geography. For example, I have never used a toilet in the tri-state area, private or public, which has a water level almost at the top rim.

Either way, I still wouldn't think of standing up to wipe. That seems odd. Leaning forward elevates you enough to distance yourself from the water whatever the level. If you stand, your buttcheeks will obviously close, this is why Frank, for example, needs two hands, one to spread and the other to wipe. He also has a big gut which probably prevents him from leaning forward so perhaps standing is just easier for him.

 

[Chromatose]

I've tried it a few times since this topic last came up but I always get toilet paper stuck in there. Then I have to prop one foot up on the bathtub just to be able to unsnag it from the abyss.

 

[Evil?]

I thought about trying it as well after reading this thread, but decided it was to absurd and remained seated.

 

[swizzlenuts]

same here.

 

[Reign in Acai]

My co-worker claims to squat while shitting.

Manual bidet

 

[JayKeeley]

My co-worker claims to squat while shitting.

Manual bidet

What does that mean? Like they stand up on the seat to get into the squatting position? Or they hover above the toilet so they touch nothing?!

 

[Krigloch the Furious]

I always thought there was a trend in water levels so I put it down to geography. For example, I have never used a toilet in the tri-state area, private or public, which has a water level almost at the top rim.

Either way, I still wouldn't think of standing up to wipe. That seems odd. Leaning forward elevates you enough to distance yourself from the water whatever the level. If you stand, your buttcheeks will obviously close, this is why Frank, for example, needs two hands, one to spread and the other to wipe. He also has a big gut which probably prevents him from leaning forward so perhaps standing is just easier for him.

nope, I've always stood while wiping, even when I was skinny.

 

[JayKeeley]

nope, I've always stood while wiping, even when I was skinny.

Do you always just use the same hand to spread and the other to wipe, or do you swap over to get both sides done evenly?

 

[Susperia]

I thought about trying it as well after reading this thread, but decided it was to absurd and remained seated.

Me too.

 

[Reign in Acai]

What does that mean? Like they stand up on the seat to get into the squatting position? Or they hover above the toilet so they touch nothing?!

A UFO style hover w/ a quick stand up to avoid splash back.

Doesn't work well against Havana Omelettes.

 

[Tide In Mind Out]

Wonderful post JK. That'll give those filthy standers something to think about.

About the water levels. I live in Michigan and the water is nowhere even close to the point where you might accidentally touch it.

I'm not filthy

I stand because I feel that I can do a more thorough job that way. And again as I said earlier, if I know I've just had a messy shit then I do the initial wipe while sitting. No poop goes anywhere except onto the paper and into the toilet.

If there were more females on this board then I might start a thread regarding tampon insertion method. I can only shove it in while standing straight up

 

[Krigloch the Furious]

Do you always just use the same hand to spread and the other to wipe, or do you swap over to get both sides done evenly?

left spread, right wipe

 

[JayKeeley]

left spread, right wipe

Fair enough. Just curious but have you ever tried wiping whilst sitting? You'll find that once finished evacuating the bowels, by simply leaning forward both cheeks spread open all by themselves. You don't have to lift or spread any cheek, in fact, your left hand is redundant throughout the entire ordeal. This method could actually increase efficiency by eliminating left-handed motion.

 

[Susperia]

If there were more females on this board then I might start a thread regarding tampon insertion method. I can only shove it in while standing straight up

I'll just answer this here since I'm basically the only other female around for the most part other than Lioness. =]

Back when I used tampons (I stopped because of the risk of toxic shock and because they hurt and I didn't like a string hanging out of me while I piss on it) I would insert them sitting on the toilet, breathing deeply out and trying to relax. :|

I recently tried the Diva Cup but it is too big for my vagina. Wtffffffff.

So I'm back to pads for now....will look for something similar to the Cup but hopefully a little smaller.

 

[JayKeeley]

I'm not filthy

I would hope not for your manlover's sake, if he is anything like Markgugs.

If there were more females on this board then I might start a thread regarding tampon insertion method. I can only shove it in while standing straight up

I should ask Haddsie. She's upstairs right now. I do seem to remember a couple of ex-girlfriends squatting prior to inserting [and using that applicator of course]. Perhaps your passage is naturally quite wide open where separating or opening the legs is not necessary and you can just throw it up there and hope it sticks.

EDIT:

 

[Tide In Mind Out]

It's just the angle of my vagina. The opening is not quite wide at all. It's all nice and compact

 

[Tide In Mind Out]

I'll just answer this here since I'm basically the only other female around for the most part other than Lioness. =]

Back when I used tampons (I stopped because of the risk of toxic shock and because they hurt and I didn't like a string hanging out of me while I piss on it) I would insert them sitting on the toilet, breathing deeply out and trying to relax. :|

I recently tried the Diva Cup but it is too big for my vagina. Wtffffffff.

So I'm back to pads for now....will look for something similar to the Cup but hopefully a little smaller.

The cup does seem a bit large, even the smallest ones. I'd be far too afraid of spillage though. I bleed way too much for one of those things, I'm afraid. Tampons + pads for me :Smug:

 

[JayKeeley]

It's just the angle of my vagina. The opening is not quite wide at all. It's all nice and compact

Btw, avoid taking that pill which cuts your cycles down to 4 times per year. The results are not good.

 

[Tide In Mind Out]

I don't even like the idea of taking birth control pills, meh.

 

[JayKeeley]

I don't even like the idea of taking birth control pills, meh.

I can tell you that when I came home from my vasectomy, the wife popped open a bottle of champagne. No more pills.