Do you wipe your arse standing up or sitting down?

The More You Know!!!

  • Total voters
    54
Chromatose said:
you reach around back, not underneath. With this method you could even possibly wipe WHILE pissing, if staying seated!
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While the suggestion is both valid and excellent, I find that I tend to pass water prior to bowel excursion. I don't know why but piss always tends to precede shit.
 
So I experimented during my last bout of defecation. Standing only provides proper coverage down the lining of the crack. Unless you're bending over to open your rear aperture you will not be able to spic and span your o-ring. Ideally, it is best to use both methods. Start out with a forward tilt on the bowl and vigorously scour your arse hole to the moment in which you feel a burn. Now stand up with a new wad and go around the crease of your bum to prevent the condition known as "swamp ass", which can set in if any moisture is left behind.

Note - The experimented was conducted after a sassy havana omelet.
 
"swamp ass"? LOL. Does anyone use moist wipes at home? I hear they cause problems with flushing [blockage] but in theory I suspect this is the best form of wipe. (I typically shower after dumping in the morning).
 
JayKeeley said:
"swamp ass"? LOL. Does anyone use moist wipes at home? I hear they cause problems with flushing [blockage] but in theory I suspect this is the best form of wipe. (I typically shower after dumping in the morning).
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I knew a friend who did that and swore by it. I always want to try it but forget to pick them up. I guess it's not too high a priority for me and my arse.
 
For all the women here: Never use moist wipes after the bathroom------The stuff on them can very much fuck with your natural balance down there and women have been known to get yeast infections, UTI's etc from using moist wipes. Some gay fucktard designer dude recently said in a magazine (I was only reading it because I was waiting in the doctor's office I swear) that truly "clean women" only wipe with "moist towlettes". Fucking DICK. And you know how many women must have read that issue and started doing that because some dick said they're unclean otherwise and now have yeast infections. Good job asshole.
 
Pics plz

Err... I mean... - Even if you wipe it with a dry toilet paper - the micro-reaction is still going. You can't 'remove' all that stuff that was on the moist shit just with dry paper. Reaction still goes, even if it's dry.

edit: why the fuck am I even posting in this thread?..
 
So I've concluded that the people who wipe standing up have dirty bum holes. I took a wicked shat moments ago and began the clean up duties while standing. I scrubbed vigorously until there was no more negar hue staining the charmin. I then sat on the tidy bowl and wiped again, BINGO, more shit smeared the heavenly cloth. You simply can not position your arsehole at the proper angle while standing. Both arse cheeks act against each other to pucker your pooper, concealing the defecation in a hide and go seek safe haven which only the trained eye can see.
 
So what you're saying is that I'm pushing the poop deeper in to my pooper? Perhaps if I came in with two fingers and dug in to my arse like a hoe wielded by a darkie in a cooner field, I can prevent from zamboning brown snow in to the crevasse in which no corn dares to dwell? I did use a back and forth motion, paying considerable attention to not smearing my tailbone and testicackles in intestinal taffy.


P.S Why are you ghosting?
 
Dude you can't wipe a shitty arse with a back and forth motion! :lol:

Wipe = one motion up the ass hole/crack. Find another clean spot on the paper, repeat. Get more paper, repeat.
 
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