DT Forum Members (and their messed up relationships)

[Mr. NoReaction]

I just read parts of this thread and my situation is similar to someone else's but our reaction is completely different ...

I met this girl 3 months ago on a chat board ... we talked a bit, realized we liked the same kind of music and shared the same views on the people around us (annoying parents, 1 or 2 good friends, the rest ranging from good people to complete assholes) so we exchanged e-mails and started chatting on MSN

she started to send me tons of metal songs and I tried to write the lyrics of songs she couldn't find lyrics for ... a nice little friendship established ... I started to share some pretty personnal stuff with her, shit I never told anyone ... and so did she ... so of course I thought (and wished) the relationship would get more serious

then I saw her picture ... a fuckin' knockout with a great smile ... so I tell her that I find her pretty ... I send her a couple of pictures of myself ... she says I look funny on a couple of pictures but I can sense there's no immediate attraction, otherwise she would have told me since I told her, you know ?

a couple of days later we're talking and she says a guy came over to her house during the week-end ... that's when I realised we'd only be friends since she would have invited me if she would have wanted more than just friendship out of me

what I'm trying to say is that sometimes people only want friendship or a confident ... and you gotta accept and respect that, no matter how tough it is

personnally I took it pretty well ... for a guy that hasn't been in a relationship for two LONG fuckin' years hehe
but I know my "worth" you know ... I consider myself a pretty nice guy, reasonnably intelligent with some ambitions ... plus I've been told by goth chicks that I'm cute haha ... so it's only a matter of time before I find the one and hopefully ... the only


wow, that was long ... sorry 'bout that, just had to share my story

 

[mousewings]

Originally posted by Ormir
Depends on the other person.

Yes. From what I've seen, there is such a thing... and there are a lot of shallow people out there... :/

 

[Sunjammer]

@Nick: Yeah, I know. I'm taking it very easy right now. Thanks for your advice and no, I'm not crazy enough to do away with the boyfriend.

@Mr NoReaction: Sharing is good. And I do recognize the scenario...

@mousewings & Salamurhaaja: Oh, yes. Couldn't agree more. There are a lot of shallow people out there...

@hyena: "i'm a bit surprised by my own attitude." We all are at one point or another. Don't worry too much about it.

 

[Hiljainen]

@Mr. NoReaction: this thread is made for sharing, feel free to talk! Anyway it's good that you took it well, it's better that you knew soon what she wants, so you can clearly see things and, in case, take some other opportunities.

 

[|ngenius]

Originally posted by Mr. NoReaction
what I'm trying to say is that sometimes people only want friendship or a confident ... and you gotta accept and respect that, no matter how tough it is

Disagree. People haven't strict and inflexible purposes in life, everything can change. Of course, if they express straightforward their intentions of be "just friends", that's ok, and you should be respectful towards them. In conclusion: you should fix your goals according to your individual wishes and personal point of view, and not what you imagine the other people might think. Otherwise, you will lose a great bunch of good opportunities.

Hyena's case is different, because she's the "bottleneck" in the relationship, and that could hurt feelings if she doesn't act carefully. When you accept a sex proposal, that might involve more feelings, intentional or not. It's quite important to define your limits and express them, because you will be playing fairly.


|ng.

 

[hyena]

ah, i am a bottleneck now. what a jolly fate, i always knew i had somethingto do with bottles

h

 

[Salamurhaaja]

Speaking of bottles, I will be emptying a few tonite, it's my 2nd last weekend here, so I figure I go say my goodbyes to the few people who care and hit the bar for a bit. I am feeling quite excited and happy about moving now, get to live alone again, which is always good and of course new town, new possibilities and all that bull...

 

[Dark_Jester]

I need a change of pace, change of scene.
The old way is stale, it holds nothing for me anymore.
These casual games they insist on playing, don't they see the damage they are doing?
I'm alone again...and is the way, better off for it.

 

[Siren]

@Sun: By confused i meant this: i guess that the girl is with that guy for some good reason. Given that she gets to like you, she might get confused as to whom she should choose.
Of course this case i'm bringing up is too far now and maybe a long shot. Other ppl make their choices easily, others get confused eternally. (I belong to the latter category, so i've suffered from this a bit, and that's why i bring it up. ) I'm not in any way suggesting you should drop the whole case just in fear of possibly making her confused, you got to play your game.
If ppl droped things just for fear, nothing would ever change. In the end, she might be a lot better off with you than with that other guy.
So, if i already confused you with what i stand for, i say go for it, i'm with you. Just have in mind what could happen in any case.
Oh, and IMHO, it would be a mistake to ever become the 2nd man in her life (=the guy she cheats her bf with), do what you have to, but keep everything clear, ie she's either with him or with you..
I hope it's clear what i'm trying to say..

 

[|ngenius]

|ngenius is back from the DT gig.


|ngenius (Back)

 

[hyena]

confusion. i don't know about other personal cases, but in my experience it's an excuse for immaturity and selfishness. the worst part is that people who use that excuse actually tend to believe it.

h

 

[Sunjammer]

@Siren: You're being crystal clear, my friend.

 

[Siren]

@Sun:
Oh, and dont' forget to keep us updated.


Siren (sp2)

 

[Sunjammer]

@Siren: I will keep you all posted on the progress.

 

[Siren]

@Sun: Now i feel like a spy on a special mission. Any job for us?

 

[Sunjammer]

@Siren: My people will contact your people...

 

[Siren]

@Sun: My people are on stanby. Don't forget the cake.

 

[Sunjammer]

@Siren: Oh yeah, the cake. How could I ever forget the cake? Which one is it now again..?

 

[Siren]

@Sun: The chocolate one of course.

 

[Sunjammer]

@Siren: But of course! Can you ever forgive me..?