dudez i think TARD ROOMMATE topped himself

[xfer]

...or at least tried to. no one's seen him in five days; his parents know where he is but aren't telling; his car and laundry and everything are still at our house and my roommates said his parents came and got him in the middle of the night; we called them to check on him and stuff and he wasn't there, but he called us back ten minutes later to say hello and the caller ID was from a hospital! either suicide attempt or some kind of embarassing genital surgery, we're thinking...

 

[deadair]

should have been a poll

(i got this one avi)

 

[xfer]

HEARTLESS.

 

[FuSoYa]

You should call him and remind him that rent is due!

 

[xfer]

we called his parents' house and they said they'd send a check.

 

[deadair]

Originally posted by FuSoYa
You should call him and remind him that rent is due!

toby --- classic.


to add to this... you should record the conversation and post it here.

 

[FuSoYa]

He's probably in the hospital because he stumbled across all your TARD ROOMMATE posts. You should have known he'd be google-searching "TARD ROOMMATE" +GREASE

 

[avi]

which tard roommate is this? is this the one with the awesome relationship?

 

[minxnim]

poor fucking weirdo. maybe he is getting breast implants.

 

[xfer]

no, that one is a girl. this roommate is the one who sneaks online and locks up our phone line and makes my guests wait at the bus station for seven hours.

i don't think he needs implants, dude.

 

[avi]

ah yes, THAT tard roommate

 

[minxnim]

okay well maybe he tried to blow his brains out then. seems to be catching on lately.

 

[xfer]

well, we snuck into his room to look for blood puddles, but found nothing. then we heard someone coming up the stairs and ran like rabbits, but it was only yet another roommate.

i mean, i'm not into this kid, but i hope he's not, like, soon-to-be-dead. it's a dichotomy best articulated by bobby brown: TOO HOT TO HANDLE, TOO COLD TO HOLD.

 

[minxnim]

maybe he's hearing voices and actually is going to end up killing all of you.... ?

 

[xfer]

we'll hear him wheezing from a mile away and if we walk briskly he won't be able to catch us.

 

[avi]

I'm so glad to not have roommates anymore

 

[minxnim]

i'm so glad my roommate is a nice hippie guy.

 

[deadair]

Originally posted by xfer
it's a dichotomy best articulated by bobby brown: TOO HOT TO HANDLE, TOO COLD TO HOLD.

was that bobby brown?

 

[minxnim]

yea it was his ghost busters song!

 

[xfer]

if you, like preppy, were HAUNTED, you'd know and fear that song, jake.