Dumbest suggestions by clients

[The Unavoidable]

We've all been there. Clients with no idea of what they are talking about feel like they have to "add" something, and make often hilariously misguided suggestions. Not intended to make fun of INFERIOR NON-AEs, I just thought it would be fun to post some gems you've heard.



One of my favorites was when a client suggested we record a live gig by running an output from the mixing console into the micprophone input of a laptop. Supposedly, this was to be done with an XLR to 3,5mm TRS adapter.

 

[Line666]

"Can I get some more tempo in my monitor?"

True story.

 

[Dalinkwent48@aim.com]

"Can I get some more tempo in my monitor?"

True story.

Has this person not been shot yet? More tempo?1? :zombie:

 

[El_Gato]

"more distorsion, moOOore, MOOOOOOAAR!!!"

 

[spioraid]

Wasn't my client in my studio, but I always was amazed by this:

Small gig at a local venue, metal band gets up to play. About 3 bars into some decent speed the metal the guitarist flags the band down and says into the mic, "Do I have enough distortion? Let me check my distortion level. Nope we're good. Start again."

 

[wishtheend]

Reverb of the master buss.

 

[Loren Littlejohn]

"more distorsion, moOOore, MOOOOOOAAR!!!"

Yeah this is the one I get ALL THE FUCKING TIME. I literally hate it.

 

[Loren Littlejohn]

Most recently it was taking a keyboard part that was ok on it's own, doubling it and transposing it up an octave so it would "fill out the song more."

What it actually did was mask the vocals like crazy and stomp on the guitars. I ended up erasing his dumbass idea. He never knew I did it.

 

[Russtopher]

Me: "Well give me a few days to quantize the drums before we move forward."

Bass player: "You're not using that word right! That's not what it means! Why don't you get Pro Tools, then use THAT to fix the drums?"

 

[The Unavoidable]

Me: "Well give me a few days to quantize the drums before we move forward."

Bass player: "You're not using that word right! That's not what it means! Why don't you get Pro Tools, then use THAT to fix the drums?"

Oh sweet Jesus.

 

[colonel kurtz]

"let's do this one without a click"

:zombie:

uke:

 

[Vandyn]

micing a crate combo gt15 with a zoom505 drive.

 

[plague_rider]

I always love hearing bands blaming their shit live performence on a live sound engineer who has had not complaints from bands who can actually play their instruments

and

Me: What tuning are you in/meant to be in??

Bassist: It doesn't matter i know what i'm playing


:zombie::zombie::zombie:

 

[K Odell]

"Could you un-pan the guitars so it won't sound so big?"

*sigh*

 

[MarcusGHedwig]

"Could you un-pan the guitars so it won't sound so big?"

*sigh*

 

[Jevil]

"Can you add a bit of ziiioooooaaaaaaa effect?"
After some minutes trying all the existing effects, I realized he was trying to emulate a flanger with his mouth.

OT: Marcus! What happened to Metaltastic, you look totally noob.

 

[Charlie E.]

My drummer - "Why don't you get Pro Tools? It'll sound better"

I always love hearing bands blaming their shit live performence on a live sound engineer who has had not complaints from bands who can actually play their instruments

Argh there is this one band who everytime I have to do sound for them one of their vocalist is a little whiny bitch. "More highs please, no wait, uhm more hi mids, more lows, no wait too much, is the compressor on? try turning it off, ok wait no could you maybe remove some of the low mids? I need more highs, more volume please, it sounds too boomy, it sounds too thin, how come your talk back mic sounds better than me? can you make me sound like that? more volume in the monitors please (feedback!)" argh!



I love it when they ask for something and I do absolutely nothing and they're like "yea that sounds better!"

 

[XnaySaturo]

My drummer - "Why don't you get Pro Tools? It'll sound better"

Not a customer, but another (amateur) AE told me I should make the switch from Sonar to Pro Tools because it "sounds better".

 

[plague_rider]

I love it when they ask for something and I do absolutely nothing and they're like "yea that sounds better!"

Oh yeah!! they're the worst... also the steve vai-insprired guitarists, and when you ask them what they want in their monitors... "More of me, less of... everyone else"

 

[Forceps]

"Can put out out that annoying clicking sound while recording?"