I used to have a text file on my desktop where I would do this occasionally.
"You aren't the Pope? Why, I never knew that!"
"Damnit, I don't have a Mullet. You don't even know what a mullet is, do you?"
"It'll either fix your engine or shred your transmission. If it doesn't do one of those, you'll get serious whiplash."
"InFlames88: Mike, I still have the recording of you saying pants are delicious
*name removed*: Please don't send it to Fox News"
"This was not an effective piece of literature because Charles Dickens sucks. Nothing else, just Charles Dickens being a crappy writer."
No more for now. I'll save them for a rainy day.