End of first date farts.

[NAD]

Man, those have to be the best. You go out with a new chick, have a good time, hold back unless you're in a loud environment, and then as soon as you're away from her you become one of the loudest, raunchiest, and most awesome butt trumpeteers known to man.

I wonder if girls do the same thing?

 

[Nate The Great]

God damn this forum is high class!

 

[Krilons Resa]

lmfao...We've talked about this before. As soon as she closes the door to your car you just let em rip for about 5 min straight with an air of triumph, self satisfaction, and laughter.

I hate it when you're hanging out, cuddling, w/e and that fart bubble makes that noise inside you, and she's like "are you hungry?" She knows godamn well, that was a fart bubble.

 

[Dev]

I hate it when you're hanging out, cuddling, w/e and that fart bubble makes that noise inside you, and she's like "are you hungry?" She knows godamn well, that was a fart bubble.

Happened to me a numerous times and she did know. Suscksckcsc

 

[lizard]

Girls don't fart!

 

[Dick Sirloin]

I hate it when you're hanging out, cuddling, w/e and that fart bubble makes that noise inside you, and she's like "are you hungry?" She knows godamn well, that was a fart bubble.

So let me ask: what the FUCK are you supposed to do about it? Just fart into the couch cushion when she leaves for a minute. When she returns and sits on the spot, I guarantee she won't say a goddamn thing -- the time-released smell will be too overpowering. As for what she thinks, well, no one cares what women think.

 

[Ellestin]

Farting on the first date is for heroes

 

[dorian gray]

I hate it when you're hanging out, cuddling, w/e and that fart bubble makes that noise inside you, and she's like "are you hungry?" She knows godamn well, that was a fart bubble.

absolute genius post

but dont worry gents, you can fart all you want after youre married. sometimes you can even get your wife to do it.

 

[J.]

i fart in front of my wife all the time. she says it's gross, yet I know she has the wake-up farts just like i do. you know, when you wake up and have to take a piss and at the same time you have that loud ass-rip

 

[Hell Mike]

sometimes you can even get your wife to do it.

the goal of my life

 

[JayKeeley]

i fart in front of my wife all the time. she says it's gross, yet I know she has the wake-up farts just like i do. you know, when you wake up and have to take a piss and at the same time you have that loud ass-rip

Haha, this only started happening to me in the last year or so. I hardly ever used to simultaneously fart and piss, but now every morning, it's like clockwork.

When you're married, you can fart in bed and then hold your wife's head under the covers. That is what they call a "dutch oven".

P.S. I don't do that to Haddsie.

 

[lurch70]

get those first date farts also ...

i think it has something to do with "behaving" ... or nerves

 

[Nate The Great]

With my intestinal condition, my wife has had to put up with some sick shit . . . literally. My farts don't stink all that bad, but occasionally my turds can be LETHAL! Plus, they're all slimy and leave some heavy duty smears in the toilet for days, and she is the one that always cleans the toilets. That's true love.

Speaking of date farts, though. I once dated this gal that let one rip as we were getting it on pretty hot and heavy. I was so shocked I think I lost my wood.

 

[Crimson Velvet]

I've never heard a girl fart.

I bet it's beautiful...

 

[Nate The Great]

It was kind of like an explosion.

 

[JayKeeley]

Could have been a "queef" where trapped air gets stuck in the minge and then comes out like a fart. This happens to some chicks when they're all wet and loose, and you're ploughing away.

 

[Crimson Velvet]

I've heard those! And those that sometimes happen when your bellies rub against each other. But a real, genuine fart... Oh man, that would be something...

 

[lurch70]

now eating: nachos bel grande

 

[Nate The Great]

Could have been a "queef" where trapped air gets stuck in the minge and then comes out like a fart. This happens to some chicks when they're all wet and loose, and you're ploughing away.

We were still fully clothed at this point, doing that grinding thing. Plus, she let out a very embarassed laugh. I laughed along, but I probably wasn't very convincing.

 

[Nate The Great]

People used to hate me in college. I had a ton of protein shakes, because I was into bodybuilding. They can produce some amazing aromas.