Everything you wanted to know about Finland, but were too afraid to ask

[Ormir]

Many of you have seen it, but for the benefit of those who haven't, here's the official Foreigner's guide to Finland:

http://www.co.jyu.fi/~np/misc/foreigners_guide_to_finland.html

You can naturally turn to the local expert panel to confirm all of the facts in the guide.

 

[Malaclypse]

i have two more questions.

1. is it true that finns actually gamble huge amounts of money on who gets place #7 at the end of the formula 1 championship?

2. do you really have these finn olympics, where the most common olympic disciplines are fought out, and your result (for example: throwing a 200g ball) is multiplied (or divided, whichever applies) with your current alcohol leven (per mil). so if you have below 1.0 per mil, your result is even reduced.

 

[Rei Toei]

@ormir: *hhmnumh hnmuhmnhh hnmmmunhhhmnumh hnmuhmnhh hhhummunhh hnnhhhnummh hmhmhm hhnnnmhh*
(translation for non-finnish speakers: *prints the guide to use it for quick reference this summer and prepares a name badge*

 

[|ngenius]

Brave people the finns are!!! They always die with their pants open, as a tradition. Nice link, Ormir, it was actually funny. Congrats!

@Rei: Yö


|ng (One with that stupid humour sense)

 

[Thanatos]

All Finnish women love foreign men. Without exception, foreign men are better, more polite, adorable, etc. than Finns, even - and especially - if the men are from "Macho" countries such as Greek or Brazil

:hotjump::hotjump::hotjump:

Neither should you bother with a Finnish woman.

 

[Tristessa]

I fell in love with finns.

 

[mousewings]

Nearly every Finn, except the elder people, now have a cell phone. Don't be surprised when people suddenly start ringing at any time, and dig out a miniature cell phone. One of the most common sights anywhere is also a Finn playing with his or her cell phone, sending or reading text messages, or even playing a game.
Usually Finnish men compete who's got the biggest - biggest car, biggest salary, biggest ...eh, you know. But this is one thing where they compete who's got the smallest - the smallest cell phone, that is! The smaller the cell phone is, the more modern and the more expensive it also is.

Same thing is Hong Kong. Everyone has cell phones and the smallest phones own (and get stolen more often).

Finnish men fear foreign women, until they get a few drinks. Then they try to "seduce" them. The only forms of seduction Finnish men know are: 1. to buy drinks for the woman, 2. to invite the woman to a dance. Finnish men can never have an intelligent conversation with a woman, since Finnish men are only able to talk about "men" things such as ice hockey, boozing, cars, women, and violence.
If you are a woman, don't bother with Finnish men. In bed, they are almost always clumsy little boys or primitives. They don't even want to know about foreplay, they just rush into the main course, and when it is over, they immediately turn their backs and fall asleep.

Sounds great. I've always wanted a guy who'll get right to the point. I'll try to visit Finland soon.

 

[Gums]

Nudity in public

Unlike in US, for example, public nudity is perfectly normal in Finland. No one will stare at you, and no one is embarrassed, if you are nude. In the summertime, men and women will always be naked when swimming or taking sunbaths, in public beaches.

In the summer there are music festivals. People show how much fun they have by taking their clothes off. Typically, girls take their tops off first, then boys start to follow, and finally, there can be thousands of people dancing naked.
In wintertime, there is "Jatkot" (the "continuations"), drinking parties which carry on when restaurants close. In the comfort of a warm house, it is very common that participants strip naked, sometimes for sauna, but very often just for fun.

 

[Arch]

Cool link, Ormir, but it doesn't explain why Dark Tranquillity hasn't been touring in Finland.

 

[Arch]

How accurate are those things mentioned in that link? Most seems like a gross exaggerations.

 

[rahvin]

i also have one more question: how expensive is a ten-days trip to finland going to be? just the travel, eating and buying stuff: i know i can find a place to stay.

rahvin.

 

[Northern Lights]

Very informative!

Which brings us to the most popular sport of Midsummer, that is drowning. Every year, there is a competition; how many people manage to die by drowning at Midsummer. There are many ways to go. One way is first to drink a lot of alcohol, take a very hot sauna bath, and run out into the icy lake. Then you get a cramp, a heart attack, or a stroke. If you don't, you must swim into the opposite shore, some two miles away. Of course you can do it! All that booze you've been drinking keeps you warm and gives you the strength.
If you have a rowboat at your cottage, you must first drink yourself senseless, then go fishing or rowing. And then you get an urge, open your pants, stand up, and fall into the water. Note that you MUST die with your pants open! It's the traditional Finnish way to go! Lately, only 30 or less people have drown themselves every Midsummer, and the figures are dropping year by year. Is our national sport dying? Perhaps we need foreigners to join us in this effort?

I'm surprised there are any Finns left...

 

[Qsilver]

i also have one more question: how expensive is a ten-days trip to finland going to be? just the travel, eating and buying stuff: i know i can find a place to stay.

rahvin.

Well.. it depends on how much you'd like to travel, eat and buy stuff
If you want to eat in restaurants every day you'd need about 100 euros for food only. But as you're staying in some place in which some finn lives then he/she will most likely cook for you and serve you a breakfast to bed, for free
About travelling.. I'm not sure how much it'd cost for you to reach our border but once you're in here you will be horrified by the price of gasoline (if you're travelling by car you'll probably give up and go back home right away), it's about an euro per litre.
Buying stuff..? Tell me what kind of stuff you want to buy and I tell you how many truckloads of euros you need

 

[rahvin]

If you want to eat in restaurants every day you'd need about 100 euros for food only.

hey! i didn't sign in to a posh club yet.

But as you're staying in some place in which some finn lives then he/she will most likely cook for you and serve you a breakfast to bed, for free

sounds interesting, especially with a her instead of a him around.

About travelling.. I'm not sure how much it'd cost for you to reach our border but once you're in here you will be horrified by the price of gasoline (if you're travelling by car you'll probably give up and go back home right away), it's about an euro per litre.

i wouldn't go by car, i guess. i was thinking maybe an airplane then local trains. or reindeers :Spin:

Buying stuff..? Tell me what kind of stuff you want to buy and I tell you how many truckloads of euros you need

let's see... drinks. more drinks. typical drinks. bottles of typical drinks as souvenirs...
oh, and huge quantities of illegal drugs, obviously.

rahvin.

 

[Qsilver]

i wouldn't go by car, i guess. i was thinking maybe an airplane then local trains. or reindeers :Spin:




let's see... drinks. more drinks. typical drinks. bottles of typical drinks as souvenirs...
oh, and huge quantities of illegal drugs, obviously.

rahvin.

Trains are pretty cheap, with less than 20 euros you can get anywhere in southern finland, I guess. Reindeers are hard to catch and after catching one you'd need to train it, which takes some time.. so I wouldn't recommend them.

I forgot to tell you about alcohol in my last post. Prices are quite high compared to those in mediterranean countries. You get twelve beers for about 12-15 euros from a shop. In bars 0,4L beer is 2,5-4 euros and drinks are around 5 euros. If you want to drink like a finn it means spending 100-150 euros on alcohol

 

[rahvin]

Trains are pretty cheap, with less than 20 euros you can get anywhere in southern finland, I guess. Reindeers are hard to catch and after catching one you'd need to train it, which takes some time.. so I wouldn't recommend them.

so i catch a reindeer and i train it or i catch a train and i reindeer it?
i'm so "pathetic comedian" today, aren't i?

I forgot to tell you about alcohol in my last post. Prices are quite high compared to those in mediterranean countries. You get twelve beers for about 12-15 euros from a shop. In bars 0,4L beer is 2,5-4 euros and drinks are around 5 euros. If you want to drink like a finn it means spending 100-150 euros on alcohol

i'll take my booze from home. now i understand why women should find guys offering drinks seducing...

rahvin.

 

[Villain]

VC:
1. Well, not quite sure if those gamblings go that far, but at least about places 1-3 people use quite amazing sums of money.
2. Yes. Or actually, they are not official by any means, and the disciplines are definitely not the real olympic ones, but usually some "easier" variations (ie. throw something, run somewhere, etc.) - I know at least two places, where this kind of games are held rather regularly (although with quite small amounts of people attending).

The only forms of seduction Finnish men know are: 1. to buy drinks for the woman, 2. to invite the woman to a dance.

If there's some other way, please tell me!

-Villain (who can't dance and who's too poor to offer any drinks... )

 

[Qsilver]

so i catch a reindeer and i train it or i catch a train and i reindeer it?
i'm so "pathetic comedian" today, aren't i?

Actually I almost laughed a bit

! i'll take my booze from home. now i understand why women should find guys offering drinks seducing...

rahvin.

Yep.. one would think that because people in finland drink lots of alcohol it would be cheap but no. My friend is in Estonia atm and there 5 tequilas cost the same as one tequila costs here.. fortunately here in the east we get cheap booze from russia

 

[DotNoir]

Finland, Finland, Finland,


Finland, Finland, Finland
The country where I want to be,
Pony trekking or camping,
Or just watching TV.
Finland, Finland, Finland.
It's the country for me.

You're so near to Russia,
So far from Japan,
Quite a long way from Cairo,
Lots of miles from Vietnam.

Finland, Finland, Finland,
The country where I want to be,
Eating breakfast or dinner,
Or snack lunch in the hall.
Finland, Finland, Finland.
Finland has it all.

You're so sadly neglected
And often ignored,
A poor second to Belgium,
When going abroad.

Finland, Finland, Finland,
The country where I quite want to be,
Your mountains so lofty,
Your treetops so tall.
Finland, Finland, Finland.
Finland has it all.

All together, Finland fans!
Finland, Finland, Finland,
The country where I quite want to be,
Your mountains so lofty,
Your treetops so tall.
Finland, Finland, Finland.
Finland has it all.
Finland has it all.

 

[Rei Toei]

@|ng: peruna fritaaaaa

@rahvin: going to finland, at last? hah, i knew you couldn't resist the evil finnish charm after all

@qsilver: what if instead of trains and reindeers i wanted to travel on santa's sleigh?

@dot: they don't mention potatoes in that song