Fantômas - Suspended Animation (2005)
Ipecac Recordings
Tracks 1 - 30, one date per track.
FANTôMAS. What the hell am I supposed to say? Hmm, I could start with describing their sound I suppose: Trevor Dunn, Mike Patton, Dave Lombardo, and Buzz Osbourne doing whatever the fuck they want. There that makes sense. Their latest offering, Suspended Animation, is a companion piece to last year's Delìrivm Còrdia which to be perfectly honest, scares the piss out of me. This one is a bit different, but rather than explaining in explicit detail what is going on with these self-described 30 Miniature Holidays in 43 Minutes, I'll just leave my language impression of each date, including thoughts on the visual accompaniment (the artwork is a 30 day calendar, each date featuring the art of Yoshitomo Nara). Bear with me, this might get a little weird.
04/01/05
Small crucifix pissing into flames. DUN DUN DUN. Ready for takeoff. DUN DUN DUN. Squish. Here we go...
04/02/05
LIFE. WAR. BAM chaaaaaaant Lombardo rolllllllll. POP WHIZZZZZZZZzzzzzz swing baby swing.
04/03/05
Serenity evolves to religious ranting into the light of children playing. Rocket board child. Whiz pop whiz pop (I sense a theme). Juice harp!
04/04/05
Dhalsim girl fight, communicates sans language. Waaah wah wah waaaaaah uh oh. No feet talking foot. Whiz pop ahhhhh.
04/05/05
FUCK. Breathe in, swear out. Stretch, pop, whoops, fart.
04/06/05
Work the floating Casio guitar smoke. 1, 2, 3, 4, enter the riff. Smell you later riff, make room for the pretty. Still no feet, what happened? 4, 3, 2, 1. Whiz pop HA! HA! Whiz pop HA! HA! Elsewhere somebody died. Bang.
04/07/05
She looks surly. Who let the clown into this mess?! Final request: hat dance.
04/08/05
Now she's the little drummer girl! Apparently she doesn't want to play, someone is laughing at her. Oh good, now she has mastered blast beats (fast learner). DUN DUN DUN DUN! DUn DUn DUn DUn! Bye-bye!
04/09/05
The sky is injured, time to fight. He's quick, he's rhythmic, he's good. I can't tell who won, my guess is nobody. Applause anyhow.
04/10/05
Hello, press a button! F! A! N! T! ô! M! A! S! SOLID FIST IS MADE FOR FIGHTING. Where you were yesterday? Oh my, that sounds like words (first time this month, impressive). I think the blast beating drummer girl just snuck in here, at least she scared the clown away.
04/11/05
More smoking guitars. Spooooooky, I hope she doesn't drown before becoming abducted. Bonk.
04/12/05
hahahaha what's so funny, pinball? Pretty sure she's looking out for number one. No that wasn't meant to be sexual, jeez get your face out of my armpit!
04/13/05
The flattened dog king has an onlooker, I'm unaware of his/her motives. I think we're landing on the home planet now, or maybe downtown Los Angeles. Ah, car alarm. Definitely LA.
04/14/05
Battleships always say "don't cry!" Maybe if the fat lady would stop singing there would be no tears. That riff oughtta shut 'er up (it do). Pan left! Pan right! Center! ONWARD!
04/15/05
CRAP. What's wrong? Oh, nothing, you're just curious. Spoonman baby devil doll.
04/16/05
Fire make you warm and toasty, but not your friend. Spock has no sense. taptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptap
04/17/05
Boom. You don't speak clearly, One With Golden Plate For Eye, try again.
04/18/05
FUCKIN' POLITICS. Whoopee! HOO RA. HOO RA.
04/19/05
We're. We're flying. We're flying again. We're flying again bunny. We're flying again bunny girl.
04/20/05
Steps have never sounded so eerie and calm at the same time. Must be a dragon at the top. I can hear wings, I think it's a Gibson. Too quiet, not silent. AGH! Oh.
04/21/05
Hey Mz. Tambourine Lass, play a song for this babe. Diggitin. Diggitin. Diggitin diggitin diggitin. Diggitin. Diggitin diggitin diggitin. Diggitin. Diggitin diggitin diggitin. Cuckoo!
04/22/05
The ceiling is injured, but first it struck the boy. His elbow is not happy, and says so.
04/23/05
Death metal riffery and hideous child laughter accompany the fox on his way through Dali's desert. The fox is driving. He also might be a dog. All I know is his name is Pete.
04/24/05
I think the aliens have invaded the Marshalls, the girl is not happy. Well she's not sad either, but she does have a mustache. I seem to remember this swing from a few weeks ago, or a reasonable facsimile thereof.
04/25/05
Dogs don't get upset when flying in submarines, they just get a little ticked off. Maybe that was why he's . . . .
04/26/05
Say NO. As opposed to the alphabet? Well I don't know, better ask the birthday girl. *burp* Aahh.
04/27/05
Nothing like a good drive for a jazzy Christmas, especially when you're a dog. I grow weary. OW!
04/28/05
Ch, Eh! FUCK! She has a point, Eyeball Head. I think this month is trying to end itself by sucking a golfball through a garden hose.
04/29/05
Toy boat toy boat. Spanish-American War toy boats. Toy boat toy boat boy toat tob yoat. Maybe some speed metal will rescue the pure from the clutches of the unbelievers.
04/30/05
Buildings aflame, while children try to fly. What better time to introduce the only riff to last more than 14 seconds? Nevermind, I've lost the ability to count. Thanks Bugs Bunny!
I think FANTôMAS are starting to age in letters.
KILL WHITEY / 10
NAD
Note: no substance abuse took place during the writing of this review, unless you count overindulging in some orange chicken.
Ipecac Recordings

Tracks 1 - 30, one date per track.
FANTôMAS. What the hell am I supposed to say? Hmm, I could start with describing their sound I suppose: Trevor Dunn, Mike Patton, Dave Lombardo, and Buzz Osbourne doing whatever the fuck they want. There that makes sense. Their latest offering, Suspended Animation, is a companion piece to last year's Delìrivm Còrdia which to be perfectly honest, scares the piss out of me. This one is a bit different, but rather than explaining in explicit detail what is going on with these self-described 30 Miniature Holidays in 43 Minutes, I'll just leave my language impression of each date, including thoughts on the visual accompaniment (the artwork is a 30 day calendar, each date featuring the art of Yoshitomo Nara). Bear with me, this might get a little weird.
04/01/05
Small crucifix pissing into flames. DUN DUN DUN. Ready for takeoff. DUN DUN DUN. Squish. Here we go...
04/02/05
LIFE. WAR. BAM chaaaaaaant Lombardo rolllllllll. POP WHIZZZZZZZZzzzzzz swing baby swing.
04/03/05
Serenity evolves to religious ranting into the light of children playing. Rocket board child. Whiz pop whiz pop (I sense a theme). Juice harp!
04/04/05
Dhalsim girl fight, communicates sans language. Waaah wah wah waaaaaah uh oh. No feet talking foot. Whiz pop ahhhhh.
04/05/05
FUCK. Breathe in, swear out. Stretch, pop, whoops, fart.
04/06/05
Work the floating Casio guitar smoke. 1, 2, 3, 4, enter the riff. Smell you later riff, make room for the pretty. Still no feet, what happened? 4, 3, 2, 1. Whiz pop HA! HA! Whiz pop HA! HA! Elsewhere somebody died. Bang.
04/07/05
She looks surly. Who let the clown into this mess?! Final request: hat dance.
04/08/05
Now she's the little drummer girl! Apparently she doesn't want to play, someone is laughing at her. Oh good, now she has mastered blast beats (fast learner). DUN DUN DUN DUN! DUn DUn DUn DUn! Bye-bye!
04/09/05
The sky is injured, time to fight. He's quick, he's rhythmic, he's good. I can't tell who won, my guess is nobody. Applause anyhow.
04/10/05
Hello, press a button! F! A! N! T! ô! M! A! S! SOLID FIST IS MADE FOR FIGHTING. Where you were yesterday? Oh my, that sounds like words (first time this month, impressive). I think the blast beating drummer girl just snuck in here, at least she scared the clown away.
04/11/05
More smoking guitars. Spooooooky, I hope she doesn't drown before becoming abducted. Bonk.
04/12/05
hahahaha what's so funny, pinball? Pretty sure she's looking out for number one. No that wasn't meant to be sexual, jeez get your face out of my armpit!
04/13/05
The flattened dog king has an onlooker, I'm unaware of his/her motives. I think we're landing on the home planet now, or maybe downtown Los Angeles. Ah, car alarm. Definitely LA.
04/14/05
Battleships always say "don't cry!" Maybe if the fat lady would stop singing there would be no tears. That riff oughtta shut 'er up (it do). Pan left! Pan right! Center! ONWARD!
04/15/05
CRAP. What's wrong? Oh, nothing, you're just curious. Spoonman baby devil doll.
04/16/05
Fire make you warm and toasty, but not your friend. Spock has no sense. taptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptap
04/17/05
Boom. You don't speak clearly, One With Golden Plate For Eye, try again.
04/18/05
FUCKIN' POLITICS. Whoopee! HOO RA. HOO RA.
04/19/05
We're. We're flying. We're flying again. We're flying again bunny. We're flying again bunny girl.
04/20/05
Steps have never sounded so eerie and calm at the same time. Must be a dragon at the top. I can hear wings, I think it's a Gibson. Too quiet, not silent. AGH! Oh.
04/21/05
Hey Mz. Tambourine Lass, play a song for this babe. Diggitin. Diggitin. Diggitin diggitin diggitin. Diggitin. Diggitin diggitin diggitin. Diggitin. Diggitin diggitin diggitin. Cuckoo!
04/22/05
The ceiling is injured, but first it struck the boy. His elbow is not happy, and says so.
04/23/05
Death metal riffery and hideous child laughter accompany the fox on his way through Dali's desert. The fox is driving. He also might be a dog. All I know is his name is Pete.
04/24/05
I think the aliens have invaded the Marshalls, the girl is not happy. Well she's not sad either, but she does have a mustache. I seem to remember this swing from a few weeks ago, or a reasonable facsimile thereof.
04/25/05
Dogs don't get upset when flying in submarines, they just get a little ticked off. Maybe that was why he's . . . .
04/26/05
Say NO. As opposed to the alphabet? Well I don't know, better ask the birthday girl. *burp* Aahh.
04/27/05
Nothing like a good drive for a jazzy Christmas, especially when you're a dog. I grow weary. OW!
04/28/05
Ch, Eh! FUCK! She has a point, Eyeball Head. I think this month is trying to end itself by sucking a golfball through a garden hose.
04/29/05
Toy boat toy boat. Spanish-American War toy boats. Toy boat toy boat boy toat tob yoat. Maybe some speed metal will rescue the pure from the clutches of the unbelievers.
04/30/05
Buildings aflame, while children try to fly. What better time to introduce the only riff to last more than 14 seconds? Nevermind, I've lost the ability to count. Thanks Bugs Bunny!
I think FANTôMAS are starting to age in letters.
KILL WHITEY / 10
NAD
Note: no substance abuse took place during the writing of this review, unless you count overindulging in some orange chicken.