Seditious said:
how I focus my attention is beyond my comprehension. it seems so free, I can't comprehend how it would be determined every slight 'decision' of attention I make, to listen, to think instead of listening, to leave an itch rather than scratch it and take my mind back to writing, all the acts of attention redirection confuse me enough to wonder about free will, but I cannot affirm.
It is indeed true that it is hard to fathom that we might be biochemical machines, since we make so many "decisions" each minute, even each second. By observing and analysing our own consciousness, it indeed seems as though we have free will, because our consciousness can only function by having the illusion of free will, to be able to
perceive options and then, electrochemically "calculate" the optimal one, which from our perspective seems like "choosing". That is why for myself, the best approach to analysing the question on whether we have free will or not, lies not in analysing my own consciousness, which already relies on the concept of free will, but in analysing the science of the matter of which I am composed. If free will exists not only as an illusion, but as a natural phenomenon, there should be a natural phenomenon/mechanism that can explain it. This should be something connected to indeterminism, since free will as I defined it here cannot exist in a completely determined universe. The only possible natural principle I know of that could do this is the Heisenberg uncertainty principle. The problem is that free will, if it is to be meaningful, should apply ONLY to humans/other animals with a higher consciousness, or at least living organisms. The uncertainty principle can be applied to everything, which excludes it as a viable explanation, unless we were to say that rocks and rivers have free will like us. That is why I really cannot find a rational, natural explanation for free will, except if it is nothing but an illusion that is necessary for our form of consciousness.
The inconsistency of my behavior, the way it seems I have more strength to lift something when I feel like I can do it or need to do it rather than when I doubt myself,
Ah, but there are so many variables that can affect you, most of which you will never consciously notice. Inconsistency is something to be expected for complex beings in a complex world. The fact that people can suddenly have outbursts of strength when they are confident they can do something or really need to do something may be explained by a possible mechanism in our body that can speed up energy generating processes if it is really necessary, but which is usually never turned on. If you doubt yourself, your consciousness is communicating to the rest of your body that you do not think the chances of you completing a certain task are good, so you may unconsciously decide not to waste too much energy on this task. Of course this is just speculation on my part, but they are possible explanations.
it's very strange how consciousness seems to impact my actions and imagine that atoms themselves have decided that is exactly what I would do
It's not just the atoms, it's the incredible organisation of those atoms, which they gained through the course of evolution.
I scratched one itch on my head now but I leave another itching at me... I could scratch it, or not... it's weird to think that that decision of exactly when I will do whatever I do is decided already if only I could map my atoms down to their very quantum upspin because it seems like what I do depends on what I focus on, and how my focus is directed without me is just... beyond my comprehension. it's enough to give me interest in free will, if not enough to actually doubt determinism.
It is a very interesting concept, but very confusing if you try to analyse it through the analysis of your own consciousness, which works based on the assumption that free will is real.