Funny thread

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I done that around school one day, for the full day, cause I'm quite lanky so apparently I look like him hahahaha. So everyone got treated to me spinning, dancing, tapping and flailing my way through the corridors.
 
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I could do Michael Palin's Spanish Inquisition voice fairly well, not perfect, but it's pretty good.

I burst into one of my classrooms yelling, "NNOOOOBODY EXPECTS THE SPANISH INQUISITION!!! Sorry I'm late Mrs. Thorsen."
 
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Also, I re-found this today:
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Here's a brief synopsis:

Straight Is the New Gay

by Maddox

In a world where metrosexuals--stylish, well-groomed, and sharply dressed men--have taken the center stage in defining the new masculinity, small pockets of men are starting to emerge, rebelling against the status quo. This new breed of man has rejected a lifestyle of wine tasting, pedicures, and excessive cultural awareness (i.e., any cultural awareness). This newly born response to metrosexuality is gaining momentum like never before, calling back to a day when men proudly wore plaid, ate liver and onions, and smelled like motor oil by choice. This modern man has come to be known simply as: the hetrosexual.

Hetrosexual men aren't afraid embrace their masculinity. They eat, drink, and sleep like real men: fully engorged. There's no such thing as a "fashion faux-pas" in the world of hetrosexuality. In fact, even the use of the phrase "faux-pas" draws the ire of the hetrosexual man in the form of beatings and social isolation (preferably both). These are men who refuse to be pigeonholed into the constraints of sexual ambiguity, and gladly welcome every opportunity to crotch-wrestle a hot babe. Hetrosexuals are making it cool to be straight again; straight is the new gay.

Think you might be a hetrosexual? Take the following quiz to find out:

1. How much should you tip a hairstylist?
A) 10%
B) 15%
C) 20%
If you answered, you're wrong. Hetrosexuals don't go to hair stylists.

2. Cologne?
A) Yes
B) No
The correct answer is B) No. Acceptable fragrances for men are: sweat, grease, rum, or some combination thereof.

3. Which language do you speak?
A) French
B) English
C) Both
D) Neither
The answer is B) English. French is the language of love, and men don't love anything. At best, there are varying degrees of "like," and even then, men don't like anything that much.

4. When dining at restaurant, you should
A) Push aside your friends and wrestle over the best seat
B) Wait until the maitre d' seats you
C) What's a maitre d'?
The correct answer is A and C. A, because if you don't secure the best spot at the table, you may find yourself in the position of having to engage in small talk with your guest. And C, because of the answer to question 3 above.

If you answered all of the questions correctly, congratulations: you are the winner. The important thing to keep in mind is that you are a man (unless you are not), and nobody can take that away from you.
 
A woman is buying a few things from the supermarket - milk, eggs, bread, juice, and pasta. She takes her items to the checkout and the guy behind the counter says "I bet you're single, aren't you?"

"How did you know?" replies the lady.

"Because you're so damn ugly!"