Good one liner jokes

[Jody42147]

Anybody got any?

LRD was fired from his job at the sperm bank, cause he was drinking on the job!


*just kiddin LRD!!!*

 

[RockMyMonkey]

So a baby seal walks into a club...

 

[Valerie]

then I said, "No, but that's a nice ski mask!!!!"

anyway


I have a bunch of racist one liners, I don't know if I wanna post them all though.
but here's a teaser:
why don't black people like aspirin?
they refuse to take the cotton out of the bottle

 

[Chromatose]

rectum? damn near killed 'em!

 

[Lordlucid]

hahaha

 

[guitarguru777]

Heres a great oneliner ....

Seahawks with the superbowl

Da Fukn Guru

 

[AALLGOD]

I had a stick of Carefree gum, but it didn't work. I felt pretty good while I was blowing that bubble, but as soon as the gum lost its flavor, I was back to pondering my mortality.
~Mitch Hedberg

 

[Will Bozarth]

I said pediatrist, not proctologist!

 

[DreamNeonBlack]

not a one liner but.

A man with no arms and legs is lying on the beach...
a women walks by and says " oh you poor man, I bet you have never been hugged "

the man says " well no, I haven't "
The women then gives the man a hug and walks away.

A short while later another women walks by and says " you poor man, I bet you have never been kissed "

The man says " No I have not "
The women gives the man a passionate kiss and walks away

Yet another women walks by and says " I bet you've never been fucked "
the now excited man says " NO, no I haven't "

the women throws the man into the water and says " now your fucked "

 

[neonblak]

I had a stick of Carefree gum, but it didn't work. I felt pretty good while I was blowing that bubble, but as soon as the gum lost its flavor, I was back to pondering my mortality.
~Mitch Hedberg

I miss Mitch Hedberg. He was great!

 

[AALLGOD]

Mitch Hedberg and Rodney Dangerfield were amazing. I idolized both of them, mainly because of the fact they can tell one-line jokes and not suck. Not too many can rely solely on one-liners.