Let me clarify a little bit the scenario...
At first I got a mix that had a pleasant attack, but then I compared it to a few pro mixes and realized that the whole thing was way too dark and muffled. So I started over aiming for a brighter overall sound. I achieved it, but now for the drums to cut through the mix properly they have to be quite bright too, and that makes the attack very harsh sounding. It's a dilemma, I don't know how to achieve the attack that I want without making the mix harsh.
Sometimes when we compare to comercial/pro mixes and we go like "shit! my mix should be way brighter" our first reaction is to grab the eq and start cranking those shelfs or reach out for the presence region. If you are mixing ITB and use not so good eq plugs then obviously the harshnes is gonna show up.
IMHO what we should do in those cases is think and hear more. Instead of desperately cranking up the highs we should try to really hear what element of the pro mix is brighter. Sometimes you end up finding out that is not that your mix is muffled but that your cymbals are just low!!!
But well, that depends on every case, sometimes it is your guitars, or the vocals,etc.
Now, more importanly, are the pro mixes really brighter? or maybe it could be that the bass is more controlled, better balanced and free of mud?
Sometimes if you want somethig to sound brighter, instead of pushing up the highs you should turn down the lows!
Another point would be that one should be VERY carefull when treating highs. We tend to over do it, specially after the comon "my mix is shit compared to sneap work" crisis. Just do it veeery gently, not every instrument in the same freq. If kick click, snare jizz, vocal Ssss and cybalms are fighting for the highs you will end up always tring to put some more: "ok now my vocal is brighter! but i lost the click of the kick, so you turn it up, but now i cant hear the bass pluck! and so on...
If aaaall of that isnt the case (we will never know till you put up some clips) then just snap some nebula ssl console emulation in mix bus and drum bus, some tape program and be good to go! Does wonders with this kind of problems
EDIT: sory for my crappy english