hello my name is møøse, and I masturbate often.

So I just finished reading the remains of Sappho's poetry. It's an odd sensation wanting to cry because it's very sad, but meanwhile having an erection from all the gratuitous Lesbianism.
 
No, the cup has bandages in it to catch drainage from the outer ear wound, and there's a cotton bar in my ear canal to catch the remaining drainage inside. Translation: I can't hear shit in that ear.
 
this one time I masturbated in someone's home and I put my semen in a place where I was fairly certain it would never be discovered.