Hey British fagzzz, I need your help

DanLights

Santa Hat Forever
First of all, any kind of insult and namecalling in this thread is for pure fun and whoever takes it seriously and feels offended you can go cry to your mummy.

Seriously though, I am starting a new job as an english teacher next month, and being a native speaker of American English, I tend to have conflicts with the British english that is taught in this side of the pond ("It's not just the language we're selling, it's britain. That's our product." were words from my new boss, who sounds like his mouth is full fuckin peaches all the time), and don't wanna get in trouble, so help me out here! Specially any guys who have been to both places for decent periods of time, or are in any way decently familiar with both variants.

so besides mom and mum which already could've gotten me in trouble in my last job, and stuff like pavement and sidewalk, what other british words or sayings should I be looking out for? any American words I should stay clear of if I wanna save my arse? Teach me how to talk like a fag with peaches in my mouz!
 
US = color UK = colour
realize realise (generally anything with "ize" replace with "ise", cauterise, chastise, generalise)

Also, yeah, fanny in US = bum, fanny in UK = vag.
 
elevator - lift
pants - trousers
underwear - pants
chips - crisps
fries - chips
sidewalk - pavement
trunk - boot
freeway - motorway
jelly - jam (not necessarily but still)
jello - jelly
period - full stop

and you can't say say shit like "write me" or "he wrote me" we would say "write to me" or "he wrote to me"

theres a fuckton, srsly
 
definitely "Fanny" (potentially dangerous!), "chips/crisps" etc.
then you got the standard stuff like aluminum, aluminium, color, colour, principal, headmaster etc, but I guess you know about those.

actually, now that I think of it I know loads of British words/expressions that Americans won't understand, but not many the other way round.
I remember flying to the USA and asking the steward something like: "s'craic mate, mind if I have a wee gander at the menu? not trying to get sloshed or anything, tis no fun to get twatted on a plane especially when you have to pish all the time, but I wouldn't mind having a nice brew or two"

the expression on his face after that probably confused me more than my question confused him, lol
 
A couple of months ago I was talking to someone who learned English under such a program in China and didn't get any of the slang terms at all. At some point she was turning in an exam and found a mistake - she asked the TA for a rubber, not realizing that the UK term for an eraser is ours for a condom.

Jeff