How to convert a metal newbie thread

[uhhhhmmmm4]

Who says they hafta like death? Show them progressive or *some* power metal. Its hard to dislike Dream Theater and Symphony X. Obviously they should like Bathory. Whatever they like now, push them to a genre easier depending on the bands they like.

And don't forget about Candlemass!

 

[The Butt]

Its very easy to dislike Dream Theater actually imo.

If there were a course in hating Dream Theater, I would be head professor.

 

[uhhhhmmmm4]

 

[HamburgerBoy]

Most people are shallow whores, so Bathory isn't a bad gateway if you want to attract posers and cult members.

 

[The Butt]

You're an idiot.

 

[Onder]

Its very easy to dislike Dream Theater actually imo.

If there were a course in hating Dream Theater, I would be head professor.

Dude I hated Dream Theater before it was cool. A professor in high school told us about the band and I said no.

 

[crimsonfloyd]

Most people are shallow whores, so Venom isn't a bad gateway if you want to attract posers and cult members.

FYP

 

[HamburgerBoy]

FYP

lolno. Venom is without pretensions, and while there might be some diehard fans of them, nothing comes close to the meritless idolization of Quorthon.

EDIT: Except maybe that of Varg.

 

[crimsonfloyd]

lolno. Venom is without pretensions, and while there might be some diehard fans of them, nothing comes close to the meritless idolization of Quorthon.

EDIT: Except maybe that of Varg.

Varg is brilliant. Quorthon is brilliant. Venom is a historical footnote. The perfect dish for posers who care more about image than substance.

 

[The Butt]

Varg, Quorthon, and early Venom are amazing. Quit being fucking knuckle-draggers.

Seriously I hate you all sometimes.

 

[HamburgerBoy]

Varg is brilliant. Quorthon is brilliant. Venom is a historical footnote. The perfect dish for posers who care more about image than substance.

What image? Venom has pretty much always had the image of a bunch of filthy and mean ale-drinking rock-n-rollers, just with a Satantic twist for good fun. They never took themselves too seriously. Varg is a dumb Nazi with even dumber sprawling songs that people pretend are examples of brilliant song-writing just because he probably mentioned listening to Tangerine Dream once (but Tomhet ist minimalist brilliance!!!!!!11). Quorthon was pathetic and spent his life hopping on various trends and getting praise for it just because he couldn't get decent recording quality in his dad's basement. His sexual attractiveness was his only good feature. Scandinavian black metal is truly the worst thing to happen to music since trite indie rock/twee pop.

 

[The Butt]

Burzum and Bathory are actually better than whatever shitty thrash you could name.

 

[HamburgerBoy]

Nah, even some pretty second-rate whiffle stuff like mid-period Exodus beats Bathory any day from a songwriting pov. Besides, a good portion of Bathory's discography is shitty thrash.

 

[crimsonfloyd]

What image? Venom has pretty much always had the image of a bunch of filthy and mean ale-drinking rock-n-rollers, just with a Satantic twist for good fun. They never took themselves too seriously.

That's the image right there. A nice softball image for a poser who wants to pretend to be hard while only dipping one toe in the water and keeping his tongue in cheek.

Varg is a dumb Nazi with even dumber sprawling songs that people pretend are examples of brilliant song-writing just because he probably mentioned listening to Tangerine Dream once (but Tomhet ist minimalist brilliance!!!!!!11).

Varg is a dumb Nazi, but he's also a brilliant musician that makes music that is simultaneously transcendent and immanent and thereby expresses the event of the becoming of being.

Quorthon was pathetic and spent his life hopping on various trends and getting praise for it just because he couldn't get decent recording quality in his dad's basement. His sexual attractiveness was his only good feature. Scandinavian black metal is truly the worst thing to happen to music since trite indie rock/twee pop.

Don't really know too much about Quorthon's personal life. Whether he was trend jumping or not (and personally I think he was trend setting) he was often ahead of the pack. I don't find his output very consistent, but when he's on his game, it's brilliant.

 

[HamburgerBoy]

Oh goodie, back to the "genuineness" or whatever debate where we discuss how Venom didn't act out what they sang about, all the while Quorthon lived his image as a total virgin-raping Satan-worshipping Nordic manbeast. The guy did nothing that Slayer and Hellhammer didn't previously, and consistently for album after album. Black metal is a total fucking lie, perpetuated by a few angry teenaged criminals with embarrassing political backgrounds, with the exception of a couple that actually were mentally ill. It's nu metal angst fed through a fantasy filter. I honestly feel pity for anyone that actually gets any kind of emotional satisfaction or release through Bathory's music just as I would for those that feel the same for fans of Slipknot or Fairyland.

 

[The Butt]

Would you like your Special Needs helmet now or later, HB?

 

[Onder]

Oh goodie, back to the "genuineness" or whatever debate where we discuss how Venom didn't act out what they sang about, all the while Quorthon lived his image as a total virgin-raping Satan-worshipping Nordic manbeast. The guy did nothing that Slayer and Hellhammer didn't previously, and consistently for album after album. Black metal is a total fucking lie, perpetuated by a few angry teenaged criminals with embarrassing political backgrounds, with the exception of a couple that actually were mentally ill. It's nu metal angst fed through a fantasy filter. I honestly feel pity for anyone that actually gets any kind of emotional satisfaction or release through Bathory's music just as I would for those that feel the same for fans of Slipknot or Fairyland.

Your posts are getting dumb dude. Are you on your period?

- Do you have to feel innovation in order to get emotional satisfaction?

 

[Kara-Shehr]

I find the Hamburgerboy and UM peanut gallery relationship to be comical as an onlooker. It shares many similarities to that of Wiley Coyote and the Roadrunner. The coyote gets blown up by his own ACME TNT or squashed under a giant anvil over and over again falling for the same traps and tricks of the roadrunner's cunning and wit. And then comparably HBB says the words BLACK METAL then everyone gets butthurt.

Like clockwork, almost never fails both always come back for more every time only to be fooled time after time. No seriously though keep paragraph warring with each other day after day over minute points concerning obscure thrash and black metal. I actually want to see how irritated someone can get over the latest necrobutcher-goat-sodomizer-baby-chainsaw-grinder-something in french-something in latin that's grammatically incorrect anyways-with post rock shoegaze crust punk influences band's genre definition.

 

[TechnicalBarbarity]

Varg is brilliant. Quorthon is brilliant. Venom is a historical footnote. The perfect dish for posers who care more about image than substance.

I like Venom but i kind of agree with you on them being more of an image over substance band.

Burzum and Bathory are actually better than whatever shitty thrash you could name.

lol no. Even though early Bathory was pretty much thrash ... still no.

But i wouldn't go as far as to call either one of them or their fans posers. If anything though, Cronos has always loved being in front of cameras, doing interviews and all that bullshit ... always yapping, wether it's about "black metal" or how they were the first to do this and first to do that. He's always trying to be this fucking rockstar, while Quorthon is pure fucking metal.

From a pure musical standpoint. Bathory > Venom ... and it's not even close.

 

[The Butt]

Yes actually. Burzum (and for the most part, Bathory) are absolutely otherworldly, transcendent music.

I would rather listen to those than whatever obscure, scum-tier thrash HB fellates.