i depend on darkness

[elric]

so... yesterday, talking to my mother about books - she recommends one to me, to which i answer (largely joking) 'nah, i just like books about depressed people.' she was very confused by this - 'doesn't that depress you?' at this point i almost answered with 'no, i depend on darkness,' but it just doesn't seem like the sort of thing which is a good idea to say to one's mother. but that all got me to thinking - most of the 'entertainment' (music, movies, books, etc) that i enjoy is dark, to some degree or another... i like things about vaguely depressed people, i guess. but what really kinda surprised me is that it seems that some people just don't get that - they don't understand why its enjoyable to read/listen/watch/etc things which are 'dark' or 'depressing'... so what is it that makes us (those of us who do, that is) enjoy that sort of thing? i mean, i'm not by any stretch your 'sits around in all black all day feeling sorry for self' type - i'm generally pretty positive about my life, actually, or at least no more negative than a lot of people. but where most people like to hear happy stories, i like the sad ones. so, people, what are your thoughts on this? what makes us (presumably) fairly normal people 'depend on darkness'? that's really my question, i guess - why do we find solace and enjoyment in darker things than the rest of the world? is there some fundamental difference between us and them? if so, how far does it go? i'd really like to hear all of your thoughts on this, please... thank you, friends

 

[Hiljainen]

I can't explain why, but i like "depressing stuff" too and i don't feel so involved with other kinds so music, art, books... For me this is normal, but for some "friends" of mine (well, they aren't friends, but only people that i know) i'm insane. Sometimes i think of the "difference" thing, i never got an answer, once i supposed that we only deeg deeper in our minds, more than other people do, this could explain why we are (though not all of us) often silent and thoughtful and you can see us alone or in small companies (and not in those 40-members companies where nobody really knows nobody but they only "go-to-the-disco"); but this isn't a good explanation i think. The point for me is that i tend to find shallow "happy" stuff and i associate it with the ones who only think "Oh i must have these clothes!" and similar things. So still i don't know the difference and i'm getting boring, ain't i?

Hilj.(Don't know if anybody could understand what i said)

 

[Parabola]

happy music depresses me
depressing music makes me happy

 

[my dying groom]

Hm... I don't know if this is something that can be explained (or analyzed) at all. I feel good when I have dark things around me, it often gives me a feeling of warmth and security, even if it sounds paradox to others who sometimes think I'm a weirdo. Perhaps this comes from the fact that, through the years, I learned to live independently, I don't need anyone to enjoy myself. Audible and visual art will do, as well as taking a walk or just having some spare time to recharge my batteries when I had enough (too much) socializing. Others revel in festivities and like to read happy ends, to each their own I guess...

I usually wear all black, but this has nothing to do with teenage angst or whatever, I only noticed I feel more comfortable dressing this way. I think somebody (I forgot the name) from another forum wrapped it up pretty well:
"Any time I try to give people a chance, they give me another reason why I shouldn't. It's hard to put and it's easy to see it as exaggeration, but basically it gets to the point that I no longer wish to ever be accepted by them. Why? Because I'd never want to act in a manner that they do. I am a complex person, and sometimes the fake, fascile manner of my contemporaries alienates me mentally. Physically, I might as well make it obvious that I am different."

I know that probably didn't answer your question, but I felt like responding anyway.

 

[Parasite]

Depressing music has more feeling behind it than happy music, happy music seems thin and unemtional.

Plus, depressing music makes alot of people feel better about the way things are for them. Hearing stories of horror and such, people sometimes think "Damn, it'd suck to be in that situation." and they realize they aren't as in much distress as they thought.

 

[dirge]

i think it all comes down to relating to the whole feel of the music. you know what it's like to feel what's being said in the lyrics everyonce and awhile and can relate in a way. by doing so you feel more comfortable with something sounding like that and it also seems to confort.

 

[requiem]

I guess people like us just prefer darkness and the stuff that goes with it...

Some people like collecting stamps.

 

[ether]

To quote Jonas “ Life is full of darkness”, we are all more or less aware of this, but some people prefer to explore this dark side and go deeper inside it, others prefer to escape from it, others prefer to take a certain distance, others simply don’t think.
I like dark music, because it gives me more emotions than “ happy” music, but when I’m in a happy mood and I want to have fun I prefer joyful music. I would never play Katatonia at a party! On the one hand I prefer tragedies to comedies, for the same reason, they move me more, they make me cry and when you burst into tears it means that something has really touched your soul.
But on the other hand I love hilarious books and movies and every kind of funny stuff, I think that irony and sarcasm are a great form of art, it’s another way to react to the sadness of real life, it’s a way to see things from another point of view.
Sometimes I like to pretend to be shallow or to talk nonsense, just to take a distance from reality and from people, sometimes I’m terribly serious and depressed and I find my shelter in the darkest and saddest things that our mind can conceive.
I think that what makes the difference from “us and them” could be just the fact that we tend to be more reflexive and sensitive, but I wouldn’t like to generalize too much, perhaps there isn’t an answer, perhaps it’s only a question of taste…

 

[doom_dragon]

Wow! Parabola hits the nail's head:

happy music depresses me
depressing music makes me happy

Fully agree with you!

 

[requiem]

Originally posted by doom_dragon
Wow! Parabola hits the nail's head:

happy music depresses me
depressing music makes me happy

Fully agree with you!

I tend to agree too, although I find that when I put on something chirpy by the Beatles I'm not depressed at all. So I think I apply to that rule about 95% of the time.

 

[discouraged1]

black is a safe colour. Black=safety, we feel secure.

I think someone has already talked about this... I think our thinking/listening/watching of dark stuff makes us more 'prepared' for things like that when/if happen to ourselves.

Plus, when we are in that kind of mood, the moments of joy - a small piece of eternity - seem much more brighter to us and mean a lot more.

Hope you understand, this might confuse you a bit.

I'm very positive person, and I too share the opinion about hilarious stuff, black humour/sarcasm.....because the world is a sad place to live, and laugh is a fight to be happy.

Music is soundtrack to the greatest movie of all, our lives.(hey, I think I will use this as my signature from now on!)

 

[LoboUivante]

Macabre, moribund, morbid… resuming, a big freak… I take this well because with time I began noticing that everything that’s different is necessarily on drugs, prostitution or other ill mannered stuff.

I’m comfortable in the dark, dwelling with people like me... but since most are anti-social... eh eh...

Resuming, I'm so used to feel bad that when I'm feeling better I begin to feel bad again because I'm not used to feel good.

 

[Parabola]

I tend to agree too, although I find that when I put on something chirpy by the Beatles I'm not depressed at all. So I think I apply to that rule about 95% of the time.

Yes, requiem, thanks for mentioning that. It was exactly what I was thinking of after posting. It really is different. It doesn´t matter whether you take the Beatles or even older stuff like Elvis or Buddy Holly. That doesn´t depress me either, although it´s more happy music. But if you remind the time, probably lots of people found that kind of music devilish too.

@ discouraged1:

black is a safe colour. Black=safety, we feel secure.

I totally agree with you

 

[the_joy_of_grief]

For me it has a lot to do with independence. Many people are afraid of darkness, death, solitude, sadness etc. They don't want to talk/think about that kind of stuff because they are afraid of what they might get themselves into. I don't blame 'em. It's perfectly valid for people to protect themselves and to try to make their lives as comfortable as possible...but it's also something that can easily be overdone. At some point you have to stop running away from yourself and face things as they are. Being able to walk through the woods at night without shitting your pants, being able to spend a lot of time by yourself without feeling uneasy and being able to face the sadness within - that's what I call freedom!

 

[my dying groom]

Being able to walk through the woods at night without shitting your pants, being able to spend a lot of time by yourself without feeling uneasy and being able to face the sadness within - that's what I call freedom!

Amen to that!

 

[Hiljainen]

Originally posted by the_joy_of_grief
For me it has a lot to do with independence. Many people are afraid of darkness, death, solitude, sadness etc. They don't want to talk/think about that kind of stuff because they are afraid of what they might get themselves into. I don't blame 'em. It's perfectly valid for people to protect themselves and to try to make their lives as comfortable as possible...but it's also something that can easily be overdone. At some point you have to stop running away from yourself and face things as they are. Being able to walk through the woods at night without shitting your pants, being able to spend a lot of time by yourself without feeling uneasy and being able to face the sadness within - that's what I call freedom!

Yeah!

 

[falling bird]

Originally posted by the_joy_of_grief
being able to face the sadness within

-Being able to face the sadness within- this is just so right...

 

[Black God]

I believe that everyone has problems. People try to hide from their problems by - for example listening to happy music. However you cannot become happy until you have faced and overcome the darkness inside of you, people do this by (as another example) listening to depressing music, so that you can face the darkness and hopefully, eventually overcome it.

 

[Hiljainen]

Welcome Black God

 

[the_joy_of_grief]

life rocks!

No, it doesn't!