I don't wanna live my life in no outer space

[RETIREDTrapped]

It's 11:49 at night, i can't fucking sleep, and my guts are in a total knot.

I can already feel the hurt that i am soon to recieve. People use me and throw me away when they've taken all they can out of me. When i rebuild everything around me, someone else comes along and does the same thing... I'm a nice guy, i cook, look after myself, i'm smart... i don't know what the hell i have ever done to deserve people hurting me

Things were made so clear last week, things were explained and talked about, and then tonight I get told "...I can't remember a thing about last week". I felt so good, this whole week, i've been happy, and smiling, i thought things were going to be so good. Having someone open up and pour out all these things that just totally make you love them, and then having them say "I was drunk, and i can't remember any of it"

MAN does that hurt so much. It bites, it really fucking bites. I don't want to feel like this anymore, things this time were supposed to be different, not like before... they were supposed to be fucking different, and i can't take it anymore.

If you wanna fucking flame me for being a pussy, that's fine, i don't care. You can fucking BITE me you little shits. If you've got some way for me to stop hurting, fucking tell me, because i've just had enough

 

[AjDeath]

It's 11:49 at night, i can't fucking sleep, and my guts are in a total knot.

I can already feel the hurt that i am soon to recieve. People use me and throw me away when they've taken all they can out of me. When i rebuild everything around me, someone else comes along and does the same thing... I'm a nice guy, i cook, look after myself, i'm smart... i don't know what the hell i have ever done to deserve people hurting me

Things were made so clear last week, things were explained and talked about, and then tonight I get told "...I can't remember a thing about last week". I felt so good, this whole week, i've been happy, and smiling, i thought things were going to be so good. Having someone open up and pour out all these things that just totally make you love them, and then having them say "I was drunk, and i can't remember any of it"

MAN does that hurt so much. It bites, it really fucking bites. I don't want to feel like this anymore, things this time were supposed to be different, not like before... they were supposed to be fucking different, and i can't take it anymore.

If you wanna fucking flame me for being a pussy, that's fine, i don't care. You can fucking BITE me you little shits. If you've got some way for me to stop hurting, fucking tell me, because i've just had enough

Friend, I do not know what the hell is going on in your life, but take it easy friend, you need to live your life for yourself, you need to look inside and grab some of your strength, every human has the incredible ability to endure and persevere, you just have to live your life and not worry about others and make YOUR life happy, no one can do that for you.

 

[RETIREDTrapped]

I can't do that dude, i'm half a person, and have always been. I've lost so much

I don't want anything at all, just people need to stop doing this to me

 

[mReEtTaIlRsEkD]

isolation is where it's at
distance yourself away from people, and pick up a hobby
raise some dingos, or koala bears, or whatever

attachment can only lead to hurt

 

[RETIREDTrapped]

Yeah, that's true,



I was so mucked up last year, i just drank so much and cried so much, and let Twice Forgotten pick up the pieces of me in the morning (dude, i owe you more than my life on many occasion), and i thought i had worked everything out this year, i got a job, i found new friends, i've totally found my other half, my soul mate if you will, i've stopped drinking and smoking, and right now all it comes down to, is that one sentence can make me realize i've acheived nothing in the last eight months, that i'm no further along than i was last year.



I realize i can't plug up all the holes that are in me with another person, i've gotton over that, and i just want to get on with my life, and now i've found the thing that makes me feel okay, makes me feel whole, that things make sense, and then they go and take it all back, like i'm nothing again.

 

[AjDeath]

I can't do that dude, i'm half a person, and have always been. I've lost so much

I don't want anything at all, just people need to stop doing this to me

Holy shit, friend, where did this half a person idea come from? You are you, What you need to do is stop and look at your life and see why this happens. It most definitely is not your fualt, you should not worry about things that are out of you control, life happens and sometimes it happens for the worst, but that doesn't mean you cannot find happiness, friend. Your life is yours-YOU HAVE GOT TO LIVE IT. I do not know what else to say, friend. Shit has happened to me too, I have felt like the world for me was ending but what I did was get angry at myself, why should I feel like that? It is my life and I will be fucking happy, I will push on and I won't be cowed or used by others, people can think of me how they want, but in the end it is what I think of me that counts.

 

[mReEtTaIlRsEkD]

You may want to give this a read, I don't know if it'll help....but it should make for an interesting read...

http://yudkowsky.net/tmol-faq/tmol-faq.html

 

[RETIREDTrapped]

That's what i feel dude, and that's all i trust, what i feel. I just don't feel okay anymore, like the jar is half empty or something, and i need to find the other half. I've found this other half, and she tells me she loves me, and now she wants to take it back, and it just makes me feel like i am nothing.

I do'nt want to deal with it, and i just want it to go away

 

[AjDeath]

That's what i feel dude, and that's all i trust, what i feel. I just don't feel okay anymore, like the jar is half empty or something, and i need to find the other half. I've found this other half, and she tells me she loves me, and now she wants to take it back, and it just makes me feel like i am nothing.

I do'nt want to deal with it, and i just want it to go away

I have had the same thing happen to me, friend, most of us have. It will pass, but you have to let it. Good and Bad will happen in your life, that is just the way it is, but when you choose to dwell on the painful aspects of life, well, it is just not healthy, I know that doesn't help much, but there really isn't anything I can do or say to help in this matter. I drank a lot and almost ruined my life, I do not know what happened, but I guess that I changed, feeling that way about something I could do nothing about just wasn't worth it, and it isn't worth it to you either. You may not think so know, but you will. It will take some time though and there will always be that scar of remembrance, but in time that passes also, and friend, believe me when I say that you have nothing but all the time in the world, you can not do anything about it, you just have to live.

 

[RETIREDTrapped]

Thanks dude, that's what i'm trying to do, live... it's just so hard to work things out

 

[FretsAflame]

Be strong, everyone has problems. Some are worse than others, but they all hurt. Whatever you do don't take the easy way out (ie: suicide), nothing is that bad, trust me I should know. Take it easy fella, feel good about yourself, and don't do anything drastic.

 

[neal]

sounds like this chick is scared to get closer or something. "oh i was drunk and dont remember" sounds like a cop out. men arent the only ones afraid of commitment!
-neal

 

[Lies and Perfidy]

Yeah, it's probably a fake-out...she's likely not sure what she's feeling, methinks. Tell her how much she means to you, man, and if she doesn't accept it, then she doesn't deserve you. And, important thing to remember - you're worth something as a human being. You've got an inner self and all that shit, and nobody can take it away.

Sorry if this is less than coherent. Hold on to yourself.

 

[FretsAflame]

Listen to neal and pyrus, they're right

 

[PiNkMaGGiT]

K, I hate to be the bubble burster here but unless you wanna fuck shit up wiht a chick you should never tell them how you feel, unless of course you have been in a solid relationship (ie boyfriend and gf) for a while.

Check this out man:

I was so mucked up last year, i just drank so much and cried so much, and let Twice Forgotten pick up the pieces of me in the morning (dude, i owe you more than my life on many occasion), and i thought i had worked everything out this year, i got a job, i found new friends, i've totally found my other half, my soul mate if you will, i've stopped drinking and smoking, and right now all it comes down to, is that one sentence can make me realize i've acheived nothing in the last eight months, that i'm no further along than i was last year.


Dude look at all the awesome stuff you've done... how can you say you're no further along than last year? New job, friends, no booze, smokes etc. That's awesome man. I think you're placing your happiness in somebody elses hands and that's never a good thing.

 

[Unregistered1]

One sentence from one person, wipes out all of your achievements? If that were true, none of us in would ever be anything but leakage from a broken septic tank. Think of all the shitty things that have been done to you by the ones that "love" you. Whether vocalized or not. Through ingnoring, hurting, or playing dumb. In the end, no person can make you or break you. You can though.

 

[Troyanasy]

Well. T . sounds crazy but, change all the light bulbs in your place to mega bright 120 watts, remember that this mortal coil is a punching bag for anti agree pots.

And always be prepared for the real pain.not the love pain, but like ahhhh i don't know maybe seeing your best friend take a bullet in the head (grey matter is on you) orrrrr maybe being stabbed so many times,trying to fight back,but realizing your motor skills have been torn so you have to watch your self being stabbed!Or maybe realizing that things will be the same unlest you change them???

 

[RETIREDTrapped]

I don't understand how one person can make me feel so much, even after being hurt so badly before. I just don't want to feel -anything- anymore

 

[RETIREDTrapped]

it's time to be numb for another year

 

[lizard]

dude, life is a series of roller coaster rides, if you open your senses, yeah, you get enormous highs and the most crushing lows, but you have to keep trying, otherwise you have given in and that's no way to live...

someone said maybe this chick went a bit to far in her comments and is trying to backtrack, and avoid something that is painful to her...that could be true.

the most important thing right now for you to do is to keep your mind busy and not dwell on the downer. maybe you could take up working out with weights (great stress reducer) or something...

best wishes...