i hate apple so much. seriously, i can't fucking believe this shit.

[cthulufhtagn]

so after my ipod completely shitted out, i sent it to apple to have it replaced. package came today and lo and behold they have sent me back the same ipod, claiming it is "within apple's specifications for acceptable performance, usability and/or functionality". apparently an ipod that displays nothing but a dead ipod icon and the message "www.apple.com/support" is considered usable and/or functional. after following--once again--all the steps they suggest that "will conquer most ipod product issues", SURPRISE! STILL FUCKING BROKEN!

HOW MUCH MONEY DO I HAVE TO GIVE YOU DICKLESS FUCKING PIECES OF HUMAN FECAL MATTER BEFORE I GET SOME MOTHERFUCKING SERVICE ON YOUR SHITTY ASS PRODUCT!?!? I PAID SIXTY FUCKING DOLLARS FOR THE EXTENDED WARRANTY AND IN RETURN I GET A LETTER SAYING IT'S MY FUCKING PROBLEM!!! FUCK YOU ALL, I WILL SEE YOU IN HELL AND YOU CAN BE SURE YOU'LL BE HEADING THERE FIRST!!!!!!!!

needless to say, i'm going to the apple store tomorrow and let me apologize in advance to the family of whatever poor employee tries to help me because i'm going to quite literally scream their fucking head off, and i'll keep screaming at the top of my lungs until i get a new ipod or somebody puts a tranq dart in me. well maybe not, but i'm going to go in there and calmly ask to see a manager, and if they don't give me a new ipod, tomorrow, there will be a brick through the window of every apple store from here to motherfucking kalamazoo. i'm serious, if i get stuck with a $460 paperweight for my 14 hour flight to chile apple can REST THE FUCK ASSURED that there will be dire fucking consequences, at least as dire as i can make them with a sack of bricks.

FUCK APPLE
FUCK APPLE DIE APPLE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE YOU FUCKING SCUMBAGS AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKILLKILLLKILLDIEDEATH MAIMKILLDIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

 

[Caelum Adustum]

MP3 players...heh...

Sucks though, mate.

 

[dill_the_devil]

Basically, from what I can tell from most modern consumer electronics product warranties, if it doesn't actually open up a dimensional gateway that allows Cthulhu through when you switch it on, it's working.

 

[cthulufhtagn]

the part that really gets my goat is i paid for the ipod, i paid for the warranty, i send them a broken ipod and they tell me i can fix it myself! thanks a whole bunch for that gigantic middle finger! why don't you just come to my house and shoot my dog!? EAT A BAG OF DICKS, APPLE.

 

[dill_the_devil]

Nah, you won't get them to shoot your dog with the extended warranty. That's another $40 at least. Round it up to a hundred and you'll get the special 'Apple Employee Comes To Your House And Shits On Your Floor' customer loyalty bonus.

 

[cthulufhtagn]

they should just start packaging cyanide capsules in with the ipods so you can end your life when you realize how much money you wasted

 

[dill_the_devil]

Knowing Apple, the capsules would be full of powdered ecstasy tablets instead.

"I WANTED DEATH BUT NOW I CAN'T STOP DANCING!"

 

[cthulufhtagn]

fuckin

yeah just thinking about the look on the manager's face when confronted with a 6'4, shaven-head, combat-booted, bullet-belt wearing, extremely disgruntled customer is enough to make me less angry. actually i'm looking forward to tearing their collective faces off and shoving them up their asses.

 

[Reign in Acai]

Notice how violent liberals get when things don't go their way. Sure a couple planes flying in to skyscrapers is nothing to raise arms over. But if one of their shitty little "alternative lifestyle" devices goes kaput, then it's time to set the city ablaze!

 

[Demonspell]

I've heard plenty of Apple horror stories before, but this is ridiculous, a perfect demonstration of what happens when trends get so large that the sheep line up and willfully buy an inferior product. Nothing short of a gun to my temple would get me to buy an Ipod, and all the idiots who buy them blindly and load them up with Clear Channel-approved swill without researching or even being aware of the alternatives deserve to be stuck in an endless cycle of shitty tech "support".

More fuel for Apple haters: www.idont.com

 

[Claws of Perdition]

You two are on fire in this thread.
I don't own an apple product never want to i dont own an mp3 player never want to with my current situation. I just dont have any use for one except if i wanted look like one of the trendy fags walking down the street with my ipod, only to be hit by a bus because i had the latest p diddy album on to loud.

 

[Thanatopsis123]

I just heard about a 4 gig hard drive that can be put into a DS slot to use it as an mp3 player. I wonder if that works well.

 

[Crimson Velvet]

I bought an Archos Gmini 400, and it has fuctioned perfectly for a year and a half, and is still going strong!

Just sayin'...

 

[J.]

haha, thats why i stick with cds. "new technology"=soccer=poop

go easy on the guy you speak with at apple. he didnt make the product, he's just some dude trying to scrape together a living or trying to pay for college.

yes, working retail has made me appreciate the position that we (retail workers) are put in everyday, which is=people blaming us because the product they bought that I/we didnt manufacture doesnt work properly

sucks any way, duder. however, them not sticking with their warranty is unforgiveable.

 

[Conspicuously Absent]

I've had my zen for a year now, never had a single problem, that said, they have to work to retain their customers because they don't have marketing campaigns and a "pop-icon" status. My buddy Ian has had a Nomad (oldschool HD mp3 player, pre-ipod) for about 5 years, had his first problem, he emailed them and they told him to send it in even though there was no warranty. Charged him like 20 bucks or something to get it fixed, they paid the shipping.

 

[dorian gray]

every post in this thread = gold

 

[cthulufhtagn]

ok well i went in to the store today and the dude immediately gave me a new ipod...apparently apple's customer service policy is "if you don't come in and confront us in person you can shove it up your ass". i feel bad for people who naively bought these infernal devices without an apple store nearby to threaten.

and for the record, it was a gift...i'd much prefer a creative zen or something else to supporting apple's near-monopoly uke:

Notice how violent liberals get when things don't go their way. Sure a couple planes flying in to skyscrapers is nothing to raise arms over. But if one of their shitty little "alternative lifestyle" devices goes kaput, then it's time to set the city ablaze!

hahaha this is your finest post ever...."alternative lifestyle" devices

 

[NAD]

Extended warranty, how can I lose?!

 

[lizard]

"I WANTED DEATH BUT NOW I CAN'T STOP DANCING!"

man five stars right here

 

[dill_the_devil]

I'd Photoshop in IPods, but I'm too lazy right now.