I HATE BANDS WITH EVERY FUCKING CELL OF MY BODY

[The-Zeronaut]

I HATE THEM ALL

let me explain...
i have this band i am recording ,
a death metal band who will have this EP released
by a record label and its my first "big" recording.

well...THIS BAND HAS BROKE ALMOST ALL THE FUCKING RULES I HAVE IN THE STUDIO CHECKLIST.

the drummer recorded just with the metronome because i joined just the night before the start of the recording
and we haven't got time to record some guide guitars...
well i have to do a fucking lot of editing because everytime there is a tempo change
we have to stop and start again from that point.
and everytime i said "we should record this part again"
he goes like "AGAIN??" and then he gets angry...
LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING ...I AM FUCKING DOING THIS FOR YOU SO WHEN THE PEOPLE
HEAR THE EP THEY WONT THINK YOU ARE THE WORST FUCKING DRUMMER ON EARTH
so don't act like you are doing me a fucking favor for recording again

we recorded the drums in other studio with some guy that hasnt got a fucking clue of what
the fuck he was doing but if that wasn't enough he had
his nephew there...doing things like
moving the mics i spent one fucking hour placing ¬¬

since i will replace everything with slate drums im at least happy that the overheads ,
hihat , china and ride sound decent.

there a lot of mistakes in the recording that we discovered in the editing process ,
things that i didn't know because i didn't hear the songs before the recording and the
other members of the band just failed to the hear this mistakes when we were recording....
and i don't mean things like "hey you didn't hit the china on that verse"
i mean things like "HEY LETS DELETE THIS 30 SECONDS PART BECAUSE THIS DOESN'T EVEN GO HERE..."¬¬

THEN GUITARS...
i clearly said to the guitarist that i wanted only ONE guitarist to record the rhythm guitars
and just the night before the day we scheduled to record guitars he told me that he didn't
know the other guitarist parts on the songs
I TOLD YOU THAT YOU HAVE TO RECORD THE FUCKING GUITARS MANY DAYS AGO
AND YOU JUST CAME TO THAT CONCLUSION NOW?????
YOU DIDN'T HAVE TIME IN ALL THIS DAYS TO LEARN THE OTHER GUITARISTS PARTS??????

so i had to record both guitarist that OF COURSE play totally different the same riffs...
so more hours of recording and editing for me...

and they say "hey..this would give a raw vibe to the sound..."
FUCK YOU.

i know that all of you will say "i expect you charge by the hour"...
BUT THE WORST FUCKING THING IS THAT IM DOING THIS FUCKING EP FOR FREE!!!
They were going to do it at home with really shitty equipment and no budget so
i had the fantastic idea of thinking
"hey what if i offer myself to do it for free?? they are gonna release the ep with a record label
so this would be good so i can get publicity for the studio"
...WORST FUCKING IDEA OF MY ENTIRE LIFE...

LAST FUCKING TIME I RECORD ANYBODY FOR FREE
seriously this fucking band has make me so stressed
i thought many times to stop recording bands for some time and just record my stuff

seriously every fucking band i have recorded has been a bunch of prepotent noobs
that don't fucking listen to my advices
damn...right now i would fucking pay to record a band that know their fucking stuff
and can record without
driving me crazy


tomorrow i have to continue with the guitar tracking
and then bass and vocals this weekend.

cant fucking wait for whatever this band has prepared to make my life more miserable...

now i have to edit the shit out of the drums and replaced them so

i will keep you updated...

p.s: sorry if there´s something wrong with the English.

 

[Charlie E.]

Joder! :zombie:

 

[Dylan S]

Whenever my friends ask me "why don't you try to make a living doing this instead of studying to be a history teacher?" I should link them to this thread.

 

[espartaco]

thats funny.but really sad at the same time:erk.im feeling that same way you are rigth now because im recording a punk band recently and actually they are the more close minded,dumbs and fucking anoying people i have to deal whit.. they even dont know their own songs! i have to spent hours maiking riffs that actually sound decent for them...and stand stupid coments like " that doesnt sound like our stuff.." i just want to kick their asses for gods sake! but actually..i will get pay... so always remember..DONT RECORD BANDS FOR FREE!

pd: good luck man!

 

[dontletmedrown]

Seriously man, you should quit. It honestly doesn't sound like you've got the patience for this kind of work. Maybe it sounds mean, but I mean it in the nicest way possible. Experience has taught me that we all stand where we are because of the decisions we make.

List of bad decisions:

1. Offering to WORK for free- nobody respects someone who can't command a salary

2. Agreeing to record a band you haven't heard

3. Forcing drummer to stop during tempo changes (is this really necessary with the tools we have in 2009?)

4. Forcing guitarist to play other guitarist's part-- only a really good guitarist can pull that off well enough to make a great recording. I can talk to someone for 5 minutes and tell you if they will be capable or not.

Please don't take it the wrong way, but these are the kind of mistakes you NEED to make so you can learn to never make them again. Either quit, or be patient and take the abuse. It will be good for you if you plan to be in this for the long haul.

Good luck!

 

[K Odell]

I don't think he ever once forced him to do all the tracking himself. I think it was agreed upon by the guitarists from the sound of it, therefore that guitarplayer dropped the ball by not having his stuff down.

Its also really good for the recording and final product to have the tightest player cover all the main guitar parts and then let them each do their own overdubs.

Regardless back on topic, I am sorry you are having a bad session but you will make it and it will all work out for the best. Keep ya head up.

Edited bc I suck at quoting evidently/

 

[dontletmedrown]

I don't think he ever once forced him. It was agreed upon by the guitarists from the sound of it, therefore that guitarplayer dropped the ball by not having his stuff down.

Its also really good for the recording and final product to have the tightest player cover all the main guitar parts and then let them each do their own overdubs

Again, if I were planning to do this, I would be asking the guitarists a lot of questions, and most importantly: LISTENING to his playing to decide if I think he is even capable before wasting my time. If the guy sucks, it will not be tight-- END OF STORY, ya know?

How many times have you heard some dickhead who claims, "OH YA MAN, SURE-- NO PROBLEM, I CAN DO THAT, YOU BETCHA!":Smug: These are the kind of "red flags" you want to spot ahead of time. SHOW ME THE MONEY. "You can do it? Lets hear you play it right now." If he even stalls for a second, time for plan B.

 

[K Odell]

I mean i get what you are saying but I think you are being a bit harsh about it, but then again that could just be to get your point across which i totally get.

 

[Lasse Lammert]

truth is: pretty much every band sucks and this is how 80% of all recordings go.
what really sucks is that you're doing it for free of course...but I guess you learn from your mistakes

 

[xmortumx]

Damn dude I understand your frustration... i Just did my friends band Demo for free but i got to say even though they were just a garage band... they had there shit together... and all i can say is that they took it seriously and actually did what i told them...

but dude one thing Im wondering... if there in a record label.... they cant even pay you something???

 

[lolzgreg]

Once I spent 7 hours tracking drums for one song. Jerry Finn almost ROFL'd over in his grave.

 

[Erlend_]

Haha.. Thats pretty funny I love reading stuff like this.
Dont get me wrong, Im sure its hell for you but I find it very amusing.

Drummers...They are the worst...
I remember this one guy.. Had to record him using no crash cymbals
and then do a second take for the crashes. We had to conduct him the way you conduct
an orchestra because he just didnt understand where he hit them.
I was embarrased and you better belive the other guys in the band were too

No offense to the many talented metal musicians out there but I belive that 70-80%
of them have no business being in a studio recording.
So if you really want to be in the business of recording metal bands, get used to it..

 

[HandsOfDespair]

One of my music teachers who often records bands recorded an instrumental jazz band last year. He recorded all the instruments at the same time.

He recorded 25 songs in one day, lmao. And it was really tight, nearly no edits to do at all.

So yeah, there is some good bands that can play after all .

 

[Ermz]

truth is: pretty much every band sucks and this is how 80% of all recordings go.
what really sucks is that you're doing it for free of course...but I guess you learn from your mistakes

+1 That says it all.

The real difference between a blessing and a curse is the ATTITUDE the bands bring. This is why my negotiations with a band prior to pre-prod are rather lengthy, while I get a feel for how their personalities interact and how open they are to producer/engineer input. I don't particularly mind if they are new to recording, as long as they have the right attitude and will LEARN from the process. Stubborn people, or those who have all the answers are the worst case scenario.

You learn to either endure these situations, twist them to your desires, or avoid them entirely. Working for free further compounds the problem because then you command no respect from the artist. Why would they respect your input, when you yourself feel it isn't even worth paying for? Of course at the start you have to make some allowances while you build a reputation, but at the very least make the situation extremely clear to the artists.

 

[Soundlurker]

Seriously man, you should quit. It honestly doesn't sound like you've got the patience for this kind of work. Maybe it sounds mean, but I mean it in the nicest way possible. Experience has taught me that we all stand where we are because of the decisions we make.

List of bad decisions:

1. Offering to WORK for free- nobody respects someone who can't command a salary

2. Agreeing to record a band you haven't heard

3. Forcing drummer to stop during tempo changes (is this really necessary with the tools we have in 2009?)

4. Forcing guitarist to play other guitarist's part-- only a really good guitarist can pull that off well enough to make a great recording. I can talk to someone for 5 minutes and tell you if they will be capable or not.

Please don't take it the wrong way, but these are the kind of mistakes you NEED to make so you can learn to never make them again. Either quit, or be patient and take the abuse. It will be good for you if you plan to be in this for the long haul.

Good luck!

I'll have to agree with all of that. You sound like that angry german kid on youtube.


And about guitar tracking: same or different guitar players, I always record the guitars till they are tight. Even if that includes editing on the spot. And yes I'm charging by the hour. The bands don't mind because first they end up sounding tight and second with crappy players recording + editing is the quicker way than just recording. I don't mind because the guitars sound tight, I get paid to edit and I don't have to edit after we're done.

 

[Seizure.]

I just recorded a crabcore band and i swear.. i never laughed as hard in a long time when i first heard the bassplayer "play".
But i got payed pretty well
And the guitarist did all the parts btw!

 

[Erik Monsonis]

there a lot of mistakes in the recording that we discovered in the editing process ,
things that i didn't know because i didn't hear the songs before the recording and the
other members of the band just failed to the hear this mistakes when we were recording....
and i don't mean things like "hey you didn't hit the china on that verse"
i mean things like "HEY LETS DELETE THIS 30 SECONDS PART BECAUSE THIS DOESN'T EVEN GO HERE..."¬¬

-Check

THEN GUITARS...
i clearly said to the guitarist that i wanted only ONE guitarist to record the rhythm guitars
and just the night before the day we scheduled to record guitars he told me that he didn't
know the other guitarist parts on the songs
I TOLD YOU THAT YOU HAVE TO RECORD THE FUCKING GUITARS MANY DAYS AGO
AND YOU JUST CAME TO THAT CONCLUSION NOW?????
YOU DIDN'T HAVE TIME IN ALL THIS DAYS TO LEARN THE OTHER GUITARISTS PARTS??????

so i had to record both guitarist that OF COURSE play totally different the same riffs...
so more hours of recording and editing for me...

and they say "hey..this would give a raw vibe to the sound..."
FUCK YOU.

-Check

i know that all of you will say "i expect you charge by the hour"...
BUT THE WORST FUCKING THING IS THAT IM DOING THIS FUCKING EP FOR FREE!!!
They were going to do it at home with really shitty equipment and no budget so
i had the fantastic idea of thinking
"hey what if i offer myself to do it for free?? they are gonna release the ep with a record label
so this would be good so i can get publicity for the studio"
...WORST FUCKING IDEA OF MY ENTIRE LIFE...

LAST FUCKING TIME I RECORD ANYBODY FOR FREE
seriously this fucking band has make me so stressed
i thought many times to stop recording bands for some time and just record my stuff

seriously every fucking band i have recorded has been a bunch of prepotent noobs
that don't fucking listen to my advices
damn...right now i would fucking pay to record a band that know their fucking stuff
and can record without
driving me crazy


tomorrow i have to continue with the guitar tracking
and then bass and vocals this weekend.

cant fucking wait for whatever this band has prepared to make my life more miserable...

now i have to edit the shit out of the drums and replaced them so

i will keep you updated...

p.s: sorry if there´s something wrong with the English.

Hey Mark!

You should have charged them, as I told you before.
I think most of us have passed through all the problems you tell in the OP, the difference is we got paid for that, and that's a HUGE difference.

I'm cheap, but not free, and you should get some respect. I mean, when I'm recording a band I am House MD, Hitler, Stalin and Castro all together. When someone makes a shitty take, he gets no explanation, just re-records the take, no matter if he thought it was correct or shit; If the sound he wants sucks, I tell him it does; if bass player wants to play with fingers and is sloppy, he either records with a pick or gets programmed. I warn all the people I record about this before recording, and till now everyone agreed on having a sergeant instead of a pussy producer.

When you lose your AUTHORITY, you lose control and then you're pretty fucked up, simply because they're musicians; and musicians want to sound bad.

Good luck with the editing

 

[Seizure.]

The 15 seconds of bass that i let him play before i told him to never tough a bass again, and the riff he was supposed to play hehehe
http://www.box.net/shared/2jgfrrgmvf

I feel for you man!
The rest of the bands was also pretty horrible, but not nearly as bad as the bassplayer, and it sounds like you got yourself a band full of these kind of guys!

I'd also say... BAIL!

 

[cobhc]

Yeah, tell 'em to get their shit together or GTFO.

 

[Soundlurker]

The 15 seconds of bass that i let him play before i told him to never tough a bass again, and the riff he was supposed to play hehehe
http://www.box.net/shared/2jgfrrgmvf

Sounds like something you'd expect from the Metallica shredz parody on youtube