I know you give a shit!!!

[Ragnarok]

I known you give a shit of what is happeing to me or anyone, but hell! I will say it.
I am feeling really shit, I don't feel very well, and my ilutions are fading away. My hope in life is going away and my dreams I just give a damn about them.
Just wanted to release my self. Thanks for reading anyway, and I am sorry if I wasted your time.

 

[Static]

Why, tell mr Static whats wrong...

 

[Herald of Abomination]

Yeah, at least say what the problem is.......


www.lut.fi/~evmikkol/techno.mp3

 

[Masters Apprentice]

Heh yeah, reminds me of that brilliant speach by Tyler Durden..

Tyler: Man, I see in Fight Club the strongest and smartest men who've ever lived. I see all this potential, and I see it squandered. Goddammit, an entire generation pumping gas, waiting tables, and slaves with white collars. Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes; working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don't need. (pause) We're the middle children of history, man; no purpose or place. We have no Great War, no Great Depression. Our Great War is a spiritual war. Our Great Depression is our lives. (pause) We've all been raised by television to believe that one day we'd all be millionaires and movie gods and rock stars -- but we won't (smirks) and we're slowly learning that fact. And we're very, very pissed off.

 

[LadyOfTheSnow]

I too have to ask the question, "What's the matter dude?"

 

[warsofwinter]

Ummm try commiting suicide going to the hospital waking up realizing that it didn't work and having your crying parents tell you that the doctors worked for hours on you .. then a few day's later finding out the person closest to you in your life has died.... fuck goals and dreams and shit ... fuck everything man .. all that matters is nothing ! depression is just another form of happiness

 

[Masters Apprentice]

You guys should write a Linkin Park album..

 

[MetalManCPA]

Hey - wassup?

If this is "real", then I truly feel for you. I've seen depression up close and personal, and there is nothing good about it.

And here comes the advice - seek help in any way possible - friends, family, doctors, whatever it takes.

 

[Ragnarok]

Originally posted by metalmancpa
Hey - wassup?

If this is "real", then I truly feel for you. I've seen depression up close and personal, and there is nothing good about it.

And here comes the advice - seek help in any way possible - friends, family, doctors, whatever it takes.

Thanks, to all of you that posted something in this thread, I really believed that noone cared.
Of course after the many views this thread had, you are only the ones that posted something. I thank you all very much. I hope you know the way I feel with your interest in my situation.

What is worng is that lately I haven't been doing very well in every way. Family, studies, interest, etc....
And I have one more problem....
I have this thing about people. I think al the tie that they are trying to hurt me in someway. I think all the time bad things about people.
This is how it works....(example) If someone comes late for a meeting, I start thinking that person just did it on purpose,that just wanted to keep me waiting.
That thing is fucking horrible, cause I'mstartin to loose hop in eveyone, even the closes persons to me.

 

[-Desecrated-]

Originally posted by Ragnarok
What is worng is that lately I haven't been doing very well in every way. Family, studies, interest, etc....
And I have one more problem....
I have this thing about people. I think al the tie that they are trying to hurt me in someway. I think all the time bad things about people.
This is how it works....(example) If someone comes late for a meeting, I start thinking that person just did it on purpose,that just wanted to keep me waiting.
That thing is fucking horrible, cause I'mstartin to loose hop in eveyone, even the closes persons to me.

Well I don't know what your problem(s) is... but you do describe yourself as a sort of cynical person so I'll give my opinion on that.

There's nothing wrong with the way you think. I've been thinking the worst of everyone for years now... it's a mindset that you can very much get used to. You shouldn't have hope in anyone, because in the end the only person you can count on is yourself. It is my firm belief that if people were not to trust as easily... or see through people better.. then everyone would be a lot better off. There simply is no one out there you can trust... politicians, religious figures, friends, family(including parents)... they're all potential(if not already) enemies. Many people will disagree, but I think you're better off thinking the worst of people.

(There is a limit you should be careful not to exceed though. Once you start exhibiting signs of paranoia/schizophrenia it's obviously time to get help)

 

[Hywel]

I always think the worst of people, I thought it was the natural/sensible thing to do.

 

[Ragnarok]

aha, that is what I was just thinking, the paranoia thing.

But look, I know what you mean that the only person I can trust is my self, that is true and I respect that, but I don't really want to think that way about people cause I think I am exeding myself. Everything has its limits and I haven't respect the limits of this.

And on top of that I have a low confidence so.....you might guess howI feel.

 

[MetalManCPA]

Ragnarok - this has been discussed with others on the board before. It is a delicate situation, and it is virtually impossible to give you "real" advice without actually meeting you and finding out the details of your plight.

Although I myself have not lived through a depressive state, I have through my daughter (this is well documented on this forum). Here's my "experiences" from the past two years (what I've seen my daughter go through), although I will say my daughter has made vast improvements:

3 attempts
Constant feeling of little or no self-esteem
Has thought people could read her mind
No confidence
Sees herself as stupid
Sees herself as ugly and fat (which she is neither of the two)
etc etc

We've (I mean she) has gone through 15 medications, in-patient hospitals, DMH, out-patient, emergency room, and more. I've learned that in the end, the strength of getting better has to come from within, with the help of external support. In our case, we have been very pro-active parents and have not left our daughter just to the medical profession. We (and my daughter) has done extensive research on the subject of depression/anxiety/etc to at least get some idea of what animal we are dealing with. We have been the main pillar of support, and have utilized the medical profession for assistance.

In the end, it's up to you. And I'll give the only advice in this situation that I know (in very general and non-specific terms);

No matter what you think you see, and no matter how bad you think the world is, and no matter how other people think it all sucks too - it doesn't. There is "stuff" out there to occupy your existance and keep you somewhat happy. It's up to you to go find it.

Damn - this topic always hits home - and I truly hope you see your way through this.

 

[7 Dying Trees]

When everything goes wrong like that you need to find the underlying reason for everything seemingly going wrong, there will be something that's sapping motivation, causing loss of concentration and/or motivation.

And trust me, it does get better.

As for the no confidence in people and paranoia, some people will become superfulous to your life, so ditch them, others will be there for you, although you may not see it at the time.

As for paranoia, it's your head doing weird things, best thing to do is to look at everything in perspective and not jump to conclusions, and this is tough if you are right in the middle where you can't get an objective view.

Basically:
->Find out what's wrong. Can you fix it or do something to make it better? Draw up a mini plan with improvements.
->Get direction back. A goal will give you motivation, and with motivation comes will to work and problems will seem less important as your mind is busy

Good luck

 

[RETIREDTrapped]

I'm sorry to break it to you, but everyone probably is out to get you. They've been after me for years, seriously. It's not an easy thing to deal with, because everyone is out to take something for you, your mind, your freedom, the best way is not to let them know that they've gotten to you, don't let them win dude, and you'll be okay.

I've been living with the same thing for about 8 months, I know for sure that there are people out to get me, but if you can stay one step ahead, then you'll be fine.

Hope it all works out okay dude.