In T minus seventeen minutes...

[xfer]

...I have to tell my ex-girlfriend about my new girlfriend. ARGH.

 

[minxnim]

better you than me!

 

[FuSoYa]

huh, why?

 

[xfer]

We're having lunch. Eleven minutes now.

as to the "whys" of THAT...I don't know.

 

[FuSoYa]

You might as well make it fun and talk a lot about how much more you like your new girlfriend's dark-toned paki nipples than pink ones, and also throw in a few "you always kind of sucked in bed"s as well.

 

[minxnim]

usually that's just a bad idea. unless you're me.
i'm friends with all my ex's.
i also never tell people i am dating anything. fuck them. hah.

 

[xfer]

i am friends with all my exes, too. i can't be mean to them. although yes, the dark-brown nipples are seriously owning the crappy pink nipples.

 

[minxnim]

well, i mean, if she doesn't deserve you to be mean... then don't! but that also doesn't mean you can't 'fail to mention' things. because you have a right to not tell anyone anything after you dump them.

 

[xfer]

right, right--but i think it would be weirder for me to deceive and conceal than to just get it out. AND this is a better forum for dropping the bomb than, say, running into her WITH the girlfriend at a bar.

 

[avi]

all my exes moved away. I never run into them ever.


And no, I'm not the reason they left town.

 

[xfer]

lucky bastard.

OK, i'm out. if i don't come back, she Vanilla Skyed her car in fury and I am somewhere disfigured.

 

[minxnim]

good luck!
i still think you should tell her she made you gay or something.

 

[chupe666]

YEAH! Why not make it like a circus story- like you met this wonderfully sensitive black man who is going through a new, innovative procedure for the sake of science that will turn him into a stunning, shorter paki woman. Sort of like the Fly, only not nearly as gross.

 

[VangelicSurgeon]

old school fly! awesome!

 

[xfer]

update: MISSION FAILED. never mentioned it. not once.

i swear it wasn't my fault! i had resolved i wasn't going to bring it up out of nowhere..."SO YOU KNOW I HAVE A NEWER, BETTER MODEL OF GIRLFRIEND NOW" or something...but I figured it was inevitably going to come up when she asked about my four-day weekend in New York.

but she didn't! i heard about her weekend trip to Florida at length, but NYC never came up, beyond, "So what did you do over the weekend?" "I went to NYC and got stranded!" "Oh, yeah, I got stranded in Miami! etc etc etc" Oh well. her fault, her loss.

quote of the lunch, after I must have raised an eyebrow after she rattled off the list of chick books she'd been reading:

"I like reading books with pink covers."

 

[minxnim]

i bet she knows, and she doesn't even want to hear about it. i mean, girls just *know* this sort of shit.

 

[xfer]

hmmm...maybe! at one point on the phone, before lunch, she was like "did you go to new york to see jenna?" (a friend of mine who lives there) and i was like "no, not really" and she immediately changed the subject without pursuing it!!

 

[minxnim]

okay. yea she knows and she doesn't want to know ANYMORE about it!

 

[xfer]

Well, good. Now I have an "I'm not an asshole" excuse for not telling her ever.

 

[The Dope]

Why should it be a big deal? I mean there IS a REASON why she is your EX-girlfriend, right?