Joke (probably old)

Rusty

A-HAHAHA!
Sep 14, 2001
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Nottingham
So these two whales, male and female, are swimming happily through the ocean when they come upon a boat. On seeing the boat, the male says, "Hey, I've got a great idea! Let's swim up under that boat and blow out really hard through our blowholes!" The female says, "Oh, I don't know...". "Come on, it'll be fun, come on, just this once!" The female agrees and they swim up under the boat and blow out, capsizing the boat and sending hapless sailors into the briny blue. As they are swimming away, the male says, "Wow, that was fun, wasn't it? Hey! I've got another idea! Let's swim back there and eat all the sailors!" To which the female, exasperated, replies, "Look, I agreed to the blow job, but I'm not swallowing any seamen."
 
So a couple of Newfies (degratory term for those from a place called Newfoundland) go to whore house and they ask the woman working at the counter "What can we get for 10 bucks?"

The woman replies "For 10 bucks you can go and suck each other off, hahahahah."

So the 2 guys leave and 10 minutes later they come back and ask the woman "Ok, where do we pay?"
 
My boss also told me this one (relax people, it's just a joke):

When it comes to rating women on their looks, there are 3 ratings:

- 1 bagger
- 2 bagger
- 3 bagger

A 1 bagger means that when you fuck her you put a bag over her head.

A 2 bagger means that you 1 bag on her head and 1 bag over your head in case her's falls off.

A 3 bagger means one you put 1 bag on your head, 1 bag on her head, and in case they BOTH fall off, you have a 3rd bag to throw up in. ;)
 
I've known a few 3 baggers in my time.... yeuch..

Thankfully the advanced neck muscles of the headbanger allowed me to resist her pull of my head towards hers...
 
A man enters a bar and the bartender tells him he's made a contest in which the first prize is free beer for as long as the bar lives.

-"Well, what do I have to do?", asks the man.

- "You must make it through three tests", says the bartender. "First, see that bottle ten meters away from you? You must pee in it from where you are now without spilling a single drop. Second, there's a cocodrile back there which has a loose tooth. You must remove it. Third, there's a 40 year-old virgin woman whom you must leave entirely satisfied."

-"Fuck off!", replies the man. "No way anyone can ever make it through that."

Hours pass, and the man gets incredibly drunk. He finally picks up courage and says, "OK, I'm going for it".

He miraculously pisses inside the bottle without spilling a single drop. He then says, "Alrighty, where's the fucking cocodrile?"

He's taken inside the cocodrile room and lock the door. All of a sudden the cries start. "AAAAAAARGHHH!! AAAAUUUUUGHHH!!! "EEEEEEEEEEHHHH!"

just when everybody thought he was dead, the man gets out of the room and yells, "OK! Where's the woman with the loose tooth?"
 
You are right, that is an old joke, I heard it over 4 years ago! (I have a strange ability to remeber every joke I heard, who told it to me, and when.) But I liked hearing(or reading) it again.
 
Originally posted by IcedEarth556
You are right, that is an old joke, I heard it over 4 years ago! (I have a strange ability to remeber every joke I heard, who told it to me, and when.) But I liked hearing(or reading) it again.

A fetus, a cow, and a jew walk into a bar. Ah I give up .... :lol:

AoD