Leaked press release: Spitz is the only remaining member of Anthrax

MyHatred

MyHatred

Chief Ten Beers
Jun 25, 2004
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In the Pabst Brewery
In a recent press release Scott and Charlie have decided to call it quits and have replaced everyone in the band including themselves with the exception of Dan Spitz. They described the band to be an all-star band of sorts. When reached for comment Scott Ian said "I am just tired of our forum constantly talking shit about us and how they seem more worried about what a band is doing then what is really going on in their own lives." He went on to say " I have found a suitable replacement for myself. His name is Beetlejuice, and I think he will carry on the Anthrax legacy better than anyone. I have found that he will bring a certain element of black metal that can't even be matched by the likes of Mayhem, Dimmu Borgir, or even Immortal for that matter."
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When asked what he was going to do now since he was leaving Anthrax. He replied. "Well I love driving garbage trucks and it has always been a childhood dream to be knee deep in kittie poopie, used rubbers and shitty baby diapers."

As a complete shock to the metal community, Charlie has went on to state he also is going to bow out of Anthrax. When asked why, he replied "Well I have stock in Starbucks and being a coffee barista is neato!!!"He went on to say that the reunion tour will still go on but he has replaced himself with, none only then the king of blastbeats, Def Leppard's Rick Allen.
ricalln220.jpg
When Allen was reached for comment he said "What? Do I have to amputate my leg too to show that I can play a way faster blast beat then Charlie?

The replacing bassist who was thought to be Frank Bello is virtual powerhouse and power eater Tit's Magoo
sumo.jpg

Unfortunately, he could be not be reached for comment but is said to bring a whole new meaning to the word heavy and his sound has been described as "heavier then elephant tits".

Replacing Joey Belladonna will be former Loudness and now current Anthrax singer
submenu1_1.gif
minoru2.jpg


Yes, you read it right. It's the same legendary Japanese metal singer that brought you such metal classic's as "Wok and Woll Cwazy Nights" When reached for comment he said "That he is currently rehearsing with the band and will definitely be bringing "Rone Justice" to the people.

The only original remaining member of Anthrax will be watchmaker and born again christian, Dan Spitz
image018.gif
Described by many on the board as a cute one eyed midget.


When we got into contact with band spokesperson and close friend, Mike Tyson. He had this to say "Dis is jus simply woodacwiss. I had no idea, dis has completely taken me off gaud. Simply woodacwiss I tell ya."

28_2_2003_Mike%20Tyson.jpg




:OMG: :OMG: WOW I never seen that coming:OMG: :OMG:
 
That is Funny..... i LMAO..... I think you have way too much time on your hands...???????????


PS i am going to post on the SFMETAL board....... Thanks
 
thraxx said:
That is Funny..... i LMAO..... I think you have way too much time on your hands...???????????


PS i am going to post on the SFMETAL board....... Thanks
Click to expand...

Glad you liked it:) Yeah, you are right. I have had way to much time on my hands today. There is absolutely no one in my office today and I have nothing to do.
 
Ok, so when I tell everyone they are taking this shit too seriously, and that they should stop bickering about it - it just causes more argument! But when you do it - it's gold.

I think what my posts have really been lacking is the stabs at Def Lepards drummer.
 
Naw, never claimed my posts were gold in the least. You just never tried to put some humor in the whole situation and I highly doubt it is going to stop the bickering. I am just as guilty as anyone here when it comes to talking shit about everything.....Just bored and I had nothing to do is all.....Jeez, you seem a little jealous about my post:err:
 
Speaking of Def Leopard's drummer, how exactly does that one-armed situation work...anyone know?
 
the whole "one arm situation" was originally handled with lots of foot pedals, electronic drums and triggers. as much as people may make jokes about him only having the one arm, i gotta give him props for carrying on and doing something genius with coming up with a way to keep playing. I'm not 100% sure, but i thought he switched back to acoustic drums at one point.
 
Rick Allen controls "snare" with his right foot. The way one plays hi-hat normally, but he has a foot controlled pad with a snare sound. I saw him perform live and he did pretty good job.
 
MyHatredforYouRunsDeep said:
In a recent press release Scott and Charlie have decided to call it quits and have replaced everyone in the band including themselves with the exception of Dan Spitz. They described the band to be an all-star band of sorts. When reached for comment Scott Ian said "I am just tired of our forum constantly talking shit about us and how they seem more worried about what a band is doing then what is really going on in their own lives." He went on to say " I have found a suitable replacement for myself. His name is Beetlejuice, and I think he will carry on the Anthrax legacy better than anyone. I have found that he will bring a certain element of black metal that can't even be matched by the likes of Mayhem, Dimmu Borgir, or even Immortal for that matter."
high2.jpg
When asked what he was going to do now since he was leaving Anthrax. He replied. "Well I love driving garbage trucks and it has always been a childhood dream to be knee deep in kittie poopie, used rubbers and shitty baby diapers."

As a complete shock to the metal community, Charlie has went on to state he also is going to bow out of Anthrax. When asked why, he replied "Well I have stock in Starbucks and being a coffee barista is neato!!!"He went on to say that the reunion tour will still go on but he has replaced himself with, none only then the king of blastbeats, Def Leppard's Rick Allen.
ricalln220.jpg
When Allen was reached for comment he said "What? Do I have to amputate my leg too to show that I can play a way faster blast beat then Charlie?

The replacing bassist who was thought to be Frank Bello is virtual powerhouse and power eater Tit's Magoo
sumo.jpg

Unfortunately, he could be not be reached for comment but is said to bring a whole new meaning to the word heavy and his sound has been described as "heavier then elephant tits".

Replacing Joey Belladonna will be former Loudness and now current Anthrax singer
submenu1_1.gif
minoru2.jpg


Yes, you read it right. It's the same legendary Japanese metal singer that brought you such metal classic's as "Wok and Woll Cwazy Nights" When reached for comment he said "That he is currently rehearsing with the band and will definitely be bringing "Rone Justice" to the people.

The only original remaining member of Anthrax will be watchmaker and born again christian, Dan Spitz
image018.gif
Described by many on the board as a cute one eyed midget.


When we got into contact with band spokesperson and close friend, Mike Tyson. He had this to say "Dis is jus simply woodacwiss. I had no idea, dis has completely taken me off gaud. Simply woodacwiss I tell ya."

28_2_2003_Mike%20Tyson.jpg




:OMG: :OMG: WOW I never seen that coming:OMG: :OMG:
Click to expand...

oh damn thats halairious , rotflmao , so funny its starting to hurt :headbang:
 
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