In a recent press release Scott and Charlie have decided to call it quits and have replaced everyone in the band including themselves with the exception of Dan Spitz. They described the band to be an all-star band of sorts. When reached for comment Scott Ian said "I am just tired of our forum constantly talking shit about us and how they seem more worried about what a band is doing then what is really going on in their own lives." He went on to say " I have found a suitable replacement for myself. His name is Beetlejuice, and I think he will carry on the Anthrax legacy better than anyone. I have found that he will bring a certain element of black metal that can't even be matched by the likes of Mayhem, Dimmu Borgir, or even Immortal for that matter."
When asked what he was going to do now since he was leaving Anthrax. He replied. "Well I love driving garbage trucks and it has always been a childhood dream to be knee deep in kittie poopie, used rubbers and shitty baby diapers."
As a complete shock to the metal community, Charlie has went on to state he also is going to bow out of Anthrax. When asked why, he replied "Well I have stock in Starbucks and being a coffee barista is neato!!!"He went on to say that the reunion tour will still go on but he has replaced himself with, none only then the king of blastbeats, Def Leppard's Rick Allen.

The replacing bassist who was thought to be Frank Bello is virtual powerhouse and power eater Tit's Magoo

Unfortunately, he could be not be reached for comment but is said to bring a whole new meaning to the word heavy and his sound has been described as "heavier then elephant tits".
Replacing Joey Belladonna will be former Loudness and now current Anthrax singer


Yes, you read it right. It's the same legendary Japanese metal singer that brought you such metal classic's as "Wok and Woll Cwazy Nights" When reached for comment he said "That he is currently rehearsing with the band and will definitely be bringing "Rone Justice" to the people.
The only original remaining member of Anthrax will be watchmaker and born again christian, Dan Spitz

When we got into contact with band spokesperson and close friend, Mike Tyson. He had this to say "Dis is jus simply woodacwiss. I had no idea, dis has completely taken me off gaud. Simply woodacwiss I tell ya."
