20th April 1983: Born.
1988: Go back to living with my mother and stepfather after a few years spent living with my grandfather and his new wife because my parents couldn't afford to keep me.
1989: Me, my mother, my stepfather and my newborn brother move in with my grandfather.
1993: Start secondary school, alternately the happiest and most miserable time of my life so far.
1998 (approx): Start reading about Satanism, my first serious venture into occultism or philosophy.
1999: My first girlfriend, my second girlfriend, my first kiss, and my first guitar.
2000: My first fan mail, from an Electrovomit listener in Romania. Sacked from my first real job for "Gross Industrial Misconduct" (using the company network to download MP3s and Flash games). Go back to university.
2003/04: My mother and stepfather split up. Me, my brother and my mother move into a new house together with her new fiance.