Take this with many many grains of salt, as I'm not a pro by any stretch of the imagination, but here's a few observations:
- The Provisional Mastering one adds a certain crispiness that IMO isn't necessary.
- There's sections in the chorus 1:09 - 1:20 / 2:01 - 2:13 where the rhythm guitars get a bit lost in the mix. This might be partly a stylistic thing, because you seem to be going for an eternal/surreal/spacious sound, but IMO they could use a pinch more definition in those areas. This might be related to my next point:
- The lead guitars are taking a bit too much center space. They almost feel more grounded than the rhythm guitars at some points. I'd try playing with reverbs / panning a bit more.
Maybe add a bit more low end to the rhythm guitars and cut some out of the leads.
- Lastly, I'd try to glue the bass and guitars a bit more (Maybe a bit more low end on the rhythm guitars would solve that ).
Again. Grains of salt.
And do note that I'm being very nitpicky and thorough.
I'm very much digging both the song and the production. Awesome stuff!