Hiljainen
why can't we not be sober
exactly, it doesn't resolve problems, and somehow it makes you feel "globally" worse, but somehow temporary better...
Lost my fighting spirit
- Thread starter Vanir
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exactly, it doesn't resolve problems, and somehow it makes you feel "globally" worse, but somehow temporary better...
Morgana
Vintermagi
Well said Gauny, I have learned to talk about problems... but it took a looooooooong time until I was able to. These days, I really know life is worth living...
I try to think in a positive way and enjoying even the small things nature is giving us (i.e. a snowflake)...
I try to think in a positive way and enjoying even the small things nature is giving us (i.e. a snowflake)...
Mocika
Root Of All Evil
Just like Gauni I don't have experience with self injury and though I don't like to talk about my feelings I know somehow I need to get over with my problems. But we are all different and there are ppl who need help from outside without asking for that. If there is nobody in their near who is sensible enough to recognize that.. then it will be really hard to get out from that situation.
anyway, i hope these messages may a help a bit at least.
anyway, i hope these messages may a help a bit at least.
"I focus on the pain,
the only thing that's real"
-Trent Reznor
That's all I got to say on the SI matter. Takes focus away from the state of things around you, and onto the physical pain, the purest thing in existense - and outside it.
As for finding one's place, aren't we all constantly searching for just that, just by living on as we do? That is, for me, the meaning of life.
And memories... all the good little things of life... they usually hurt even more when allready in pain.
Self Injury is my way of escaping problems, if all else fails, or I am too worn to face my troubles and turn the wrongs right.
the only thing that's real"
-Trent Reznor
That's all I got to say on the SI matter. Takes focus away from the state of things around you, and onto the physical pain, the purest thing in existense - and outside it.
As for finding one's place, aren't we all constantly searching for just that, just by living on as we do? That is, for me, the meaning of life.
And memories... all the good little things of life... they usually hurt even more when allready in pain.
Self Injury is my way of escaping problems, if all else fails, or I am too worn to face my troubles and turn the wrongs right.
From personal experiences the physical pain can never add up to the spiritual and psychological pain. Hurting yourself physically is a degrading of your own existence in many senses. I understand that it's very hard to focus on the solution instead of the pain that puts you in that state in the firts place. I know for sure it's very though to make it through, to the other side of the tunnel. Sometimes(and I'm a very good example of that) you take the whole responsibility for man and mankinds actions(and the lack of action) on you own shoulders and that can be just to much.
I'm very dissapointed with Mankind in millions of aspects, how we treat each other, nature, ourselves...etc.
But to cure one pain with another is actually a thing that makes you stay in that loop. "Fight fire with fire" is just an old boring cliché that dosen't really work in reality. Noone else has a universal remedy for our pains and questionings, we build our own future, we're the masters of our destiny.
And while we wait for that "super"medicine our life passes us by, every second can be a fruitful and productive moment, that enriches us.
Just to take endless amounts of pill and travel with pink clouds only leads to bigger and deeper depression at the end. It's like the drug addict that needs that fix to be on his/her feet, but the dose must increase to get the same result. And one day you can't get the result with whatever dose....happy pills must be a temporary solution, otherwise your true personality will be come very temporary.
Somehow the Demons must be confronted before they turn you into a demon. And beleive me, I was a junkie in depression some years ago.
I'm sounding like an agitator in positivism, but how the world turns out is our own responsibility, you can't say that everything is already fucked up and therfore I can act fucked up, that's just how the world gets fucked up.
Stay healthy, Stay alive. Peace!!!
mr V
I'm very dissapointed with Mankind in millions of aspects, how we treat each other, nature, ourselves...etc.
But to cure one pain with another is actually a thing that makes you stay in that loop. "Fight fire with fire" is just an old boring cliché that dosen't really work in reality. Noone else has a universal remedy for our pains and questionings, we build our own future, we're the masters of our destiny.
And while we wait for that "super"medicine our life passes us by, every second can be a fruitful and productive moment, that enriches us.
Just to take endless amounts of pill and travel with pink clouds only leads to bigger and deeper depression at the end. It's like the drug addict that needs that fix to be on his/her feet, but the dose must increase to get the same result. And one day you can't get the result with whatever dose....happy pills must be a temporary solution, otherwise your true personality will be come very temporary.
Somehow the Demons must be confronted before they turn you into a demon. And beleive me, I was a junkie in depression some years ago.
I'm sounding like an agitator in positivism, but how the world turns out is our own responsibility, you can't say that everything is already fucked up and therfore I can act fucked up, that's just how the world gets fucked up.
Stay healthy, Stay alive. Peace!!!
mr V
Fjelltussa
...
Both these things were very well said to me. My best wishes to you, Vanir, for everything you go through. You know you're not alone with it!
For everyone esle; who ever said si is supposed to SOLVE any problem, either fast or in "the long run"? It's not for me, anyway, and I don't think it is for most ppl. Ppl who do it are depressed, not stupid! It's just a way of coping; a way to stay sane. In the worst moments it's not always very easy to know what is and what is not, but physical pain is easily placed always. And to me that is definitely better than suicide. I don't wanna die, but if I have a moment when I loose it all, that may be the only way I can find out. -Unless I can cut instead. Cause to me, the cutting has nothing at all to do with suicide - not like that. It's not smth that can lead me to suicide - it's what keeps me away from it!
Everyone doesn't have to understand what si is all about; just try to accept it. It shouldn't be forced on anyone to stop, especially if they have done it for a long time and are used to having that possibility or escaping things in bad moments. It's not the si'ing one should work to stop with; it's the feelings causing it one should work to understand and take away. If a person is to stop si'ing, he/she should want it him/herself and take the decision him/herself.
Morgana
Vintermagi
I've never tried to injuring myself on purpose... so I can't say much about it...
Actually I can't imagine to hurt myself physically, simply I love life far to much... maybe, cause once I have crossed the border already (accidentally) and was close enough a few times to jump over again ( accidentally)...
I found my path, talking and writing about my probs was what helped me as well as music and dancing... being creative, active, etc... It helped me to face and live with the past, cause it will never be forgotten...
Actually, thinking of my past, I really wonder what it is, that makes people hurting themselves, is the prob/ depression that bad, that you can't find another way? Are you heavy addicted to SI and other things? I try to understand what makes you doing it... cause once I have been to a point of wishing to be dead ( but I'd like to say that I was not, not in anyway suicidal) ... but then I've noticed it's not the way to go...
Just thinking of my little sis, she is the most egoistic person I know of, drowning in self-pity and very suicidal...
Will she ever notices how much she hurts our mom, her dad and our siblings... She can be nice, but usually it's calculated.
Still I cared for her, but at the moment she got me to a point where I start to care less...
I think there is a path for every prob, no matter what...
With every second, with every breath you take, with every emotion you're going through, life is worth living...
Actually I can't imagine to hurt myself physically, simply I love life far to much... maybe, cause once I have crossed the border already (accidentally) and was close enough a few times to jump over again ( accidentally)...
I found my path, talking and writing about my probs was what helped me as well as music and dancing... being creative, active, etc... It helped me to face and live with the past, cause it will never be forgotten...
Actually, thinking of my past, I really wonder what it is, that makes people hurting themselves, is the prob/ depression that bad, that you can't find another way? Are you heavy addicted to SI and other things? I try to understand what makes you doing it... cause once I have been to a point of wishing to be dead ( but I'd like to say that I was not, not in anyway suicidal) ... but then I've noticed it's not the way to go...
Just thinking of my little sis, she is the most egoistic person I know of, drowning in self-pity and very suicidal...
Will she ever notices how much she hurts our mom, her dad and our siblings... She can be nice, but usually it's calculated.
Still I cared for her, but at the moment she got me to a point where I start to care less...
I think there is a path for every prob, no matter what...
With every second, with every breath you take, with every emotion you're going through, life is worth living...
Fjelltussa
...
I know that many have ended their lives because they are just sick and tired of only being a problem to others, constantly causing pain and worry for others. And maybe that's just the best then, "in the long run"... It doesn't exactly help very much if you know that you are only a problem to others, causing worry and pain. I know that I am a big fucking ego myself, making those who care about me to worry, but what am I to do? I can be the first to raise my hand and say I wish my head wasn't this fucked up, but part of my problem is that I have no idea of how to take it all away. So I try to cope with it the best way I can, and if anyone ask, I just tell them I'm fine, to do my best to make them not worry. To some I just cannot lie, though, because I know they want to know the truth. But I can't change the truth, and I can't help that I therefore am a problem to some. And as I know this is selfish of me, putting all of this on others, it makes me feel guiulty, and I hate myself even more. But then, since I don't know what to do with it, I try to cope with the best way I can. And this is my way of coping.
Hiljainen
why can't we not be sober
..mm..i think i can agree with Fjell..well, it's different for everyone and complicated but i understand...for me it's too "in my head" to explain, anyway SI hasn't a direct connection with the pain(depression) you feel, i mean a wound doesn't heal sadness but helps you to throw out it like a scream for a moment and i think that for someone in some moments there's no other way...well, i know what i write looks senseless but i can't explain better..sorry
Morgana
Vintermagi
Actually I like to know what cause SI... anything that makes you sad?
How about screaming instead of SI? Ever tried to scream as loud as you can? Just to scream out the shit you feel?
If you think you can't do it at home, go somewhere you think you can do it... try it.. it sets you free...
How about screaming instead of SI? Ever tried to scream as loud as you can? Just to scream out the shit you feel?
If you think you can't do it at home, go somewhere you think you can do it... try it.. it sets you free...
Blackspirit
there are no words left
Had to quote this, 'cause it's very well said!
) We all deal with problems in our own ways, some do self
injurig, others scream, or paint, play guitar, dance, thinks,
talks about it... Whatever makes you feel better...
But, yeah... One day the focus has to be on the problems
causing the si. Cutting won't help in the long run.
There is only one person who can make yourself better,
and yupp, it's you
)I think Fjelltussa has pointed to a very essential thing here.
The cutting is not the core of the problem, it's whatever cause
the SI which one has to work with.
Sadly a lot of people tend to forget to look behind the cuts and
the scars, both in regards to causes, and in seing there's person
like any other in there. Cutting doesn't make anyone a freak.
Geez, sometimes I even wish cutting would work as an outlet for
me too, instead of keeping everything inside and end up as the
nervous wreck I am.
This might be a bit silly, but somehow I'd like to share with you a
picture of the most creative, loving, patient and caring person I know.
The cutting is not the core of the problem, it's whatever cause
the SI which one has to work with.
Sadly a lot of people tend to forget to look behind the cuts and
the scars, both in regards to causes, and in seing there's person
like any other in there. Cutting doesn't make anyone a freak.
Geez, sometimes I even wish cutting would work as an outlet for
me too, instead of keeping everything inside and end up as the
nervous wreck I am.
This might be a bit silly, but somehow I'd like to share with you a
picture of the most creative, loving, patient and caring person I know.
Blackspirit
there are no words left
Thanks..
Right now he is gone, and I don't know whether he is alive or not.
Guess that's why I'm getting involved in this discussion in the first place,
SI grows into a personal matter for me when it concerns someone
I love.
Right now he is gone, and I don't know whether he is alive or not.
Guess that's why I'm getting involved in this discussion in the first place,
SI grows into a personal matter for me when it concerns someone
I love.
Ok, I don't want to take away your physical dilemma, but when you speak about hurting yourselves as a solution for your problems it better to take proffesional help than trying to ooze it out via cutting and shredding.
Fuck,if someone ever should do that ,I would be the one,but I tamed my demons(at least for a while) and stayed tune to what's me and made it through. Now my life are very nice and fulfilledwith my girlfriend and our courses.
Just repeating a cutting/sacrifece is very religious and modern. We're all needed in this specatable!!
Stay healthy, stay alive. Peace!!!!
mr V
Fuck,if someone ever should do that ,I would be the one,but I tamed my demons(at least for a while) and stayed tune to what's me and made it through. Now my life are very nice and fulfilledwith my girlfriend and our courses.
Just repeating a cutting/sacrifece is very religious and modern. We're all needed in this specatable!!
Stay healthy, stay alive. Peace!!!!
mr V
Fjelltussa
...
I can't scream. I don't manage. Never did. And I don't manage to be creative when I'm down because I can't think. Or, I can't choose what to think about. I can't control my mind. It has a life on it's own, and chooses where to send me. Everything just spins around, and I get dizzy. I hate that. It makes me angry and frustrated. In order to get back to "reality" (whatever that is) I have to have smth to help me. Smth to hold on to and concentrate about. Smth steady, that I can control. And since I can't think, that has to be smth that is 100% physical. Pain is.
Still some seem to think SI is supposed to be a solution, but it's not. But some times you just can't think about a solution. It's like taking a pill to ease your migrene. It doesn't take away the problem, but it eases the pain caused by the problem, and lets you think about smth else. Just then you have to find a quick way of getting out of imergency, and the problem solving will have to wait a little.
Gaunerin
vanquish the pain
I see that (at least by time of this post) you're able to reflect on things. You know it's not a solution.
What I don't see is that you understand that the cutting isn't something that should be considered even in "emergency".
so, what about the times when you don't feel the need to cut? You're aware that the problem still exists somewhere within yourself. Wouldn't it then be a chance to think of how to find a solution for handling the problem?
Just the first brief thoughts that came to my mind right now.
To be honest, I'm lost about this subject. Last night I thought about if for a while but it's just something I completely fail to comprehend.
What I don't see is that you understand that the cutting isn't something that should be considered even in "emergency".
so, what about the times when you don't feel the need to cut? You're aware that the problem still exists somewhere within yourself. Wouldn't it then be a chance to think of how to find a solution for handling the problem?
Just the first brief thoughts that came to my mind right now.
To be honest, I'm lost about this subject. Last night I thought about if for a while but it's just something I completely fail to comprehend.
Hiljainen
why can't we not be sober
Fjelltussa
...
What did you mean here?
I just don't understand it yet... Why I feel the way I feel. I'm too confused. I try to figure it all out and solve my problems all the time - it's just not very easy. I have really no idea of how I am supposed to manage it. I think things through, and sometimes I think that - "okay, now I'm done with this" - but then it's all back, and I'm right where I started, and I don't understand anything.
In any case, I guess it will take some time. But all the time I'm trying. It doesn't really matter if you don't understand it. No one has to understand everything. What is important - as I see it - is just not to judge anything or anyone when you don't understand, and I see that you don't do that.
