Making friends as an adult male

[ChaosLee]

So, this strange topic has been on my mind as of late, in part because many of my old buddies have moved away, started families, etc. and I realize I really don't have any close male friends anymore, not that I see regularly. And making new friends has become far more more difficult as I have gotten older.

Seriously, I'm picky as shit about who I would feel comfortable befriending and letting into my life, definitely pickier than what woman I would bed. It just seems like meeting stand-up dudes with common interests who aren't stupid or irritating is nigh impossible. Anyone else deal with such issues? What the fuck happened?

 

[J.]

I hate people

 

[ChaosLee]

I hate people

This is likely a big part of my problem as well. If I don't go somewhere or do something with my girlfriend, I prefer being alone and not dealing with other people.

 

[rms]

Yeah man i'm with ya. Out of the army and into college in a state 1500 miles from my hometown and I basically hate everyone under the age of 23 (25 myself)

 

[Tide In Mind Out]

Same thing here (though I'm obviously not male). I still have a couple of friends who live in my area, but I haven't even seen them in person since my wedding two years ago. My husband has his two retired coworkers that invite us to margarita night now and then, but we rarely go. When we do, it's a chore to sit there with them.

 

[dorian gray]

This seems to be pretty typical for guys as we get older

 

[ChaosLee]

This seems to be pretty typical for guys as we get older

Appears so. Perhaps more so for us misanthropic metal listening types.

 

[J.]

best friends i ever had were in elementary (bunch of us in the same neighborhood) and then in high school (baseball teammates). i was even part of a fraternity in college, but those guys never moved beyond "drinking and party buddies".

ive got some dudes that would be cool to hang out with more often, go watch a game at a breastaurant type dudes. but honestly, i suck at keeping in contact with people (my dad and sister included) so i dont bother.

 

[dorian gray]

Appears so. Perhaps more so for us misanthropic metal listening types.

I used to think so too but I've also noticed my mainstream pals also kinda just stopped hanging out with each other after awhile.

@J. I used to be really good at trying to stay in touch with good pals from high school. I tried email, Facebook (back when I had one), fuken MYSPACE, everything. Most people just don't give a fuck.

 

[Ellestin]

One of the few perks of living in big cities is you can fairly easily meet people with similar center of interests who are ok to hang out with from time to time. But making "friends" is another topic entirely. On the other hand I have pretty much 90% of my friends close by, so have no interest in widening the circle right now.

I'm hopeful that will change when I eventually move out into the couyntryside and the only available distraction will be to hang out in the only village pub and talk the manly talk with autochtons.

 

[dorian gray]

Are tu single, Monsieur Ellestin?

 

[Ellestin]

sure

are we talking males here or what

 

[dorian gray]

Either/or

 

[dorian gray]

Same sex marriage is now legal in Virginia fyi Ftr tbh

 

[~Neurotica]

Making friends as an adult male is pretty difficult for me too, I have to admit.

I came to the point where I get super suspicious about people, waiting from them to do some bullshit or be weirdos/creeps in the end, but in fact I understand that it's not people who are bad it's just me getting all crancky and hard being all butthurt about previous experience. I guess it's about zone of comfort, have to work on that, otherwise it's gonna suck bad.

 

[Agalloch]

I'm in the same position. Used to have lots of friends, but over time everybody has pretty much scattered. My best friends these days are my dogs.

 

[NAD]

It is rare for me to "hang out" with my friends, I only socialize if playing music is involved. That means I'm still out and/or about 2 to 4 times a week. I'm really quite terrible at being an anti-social shut-in, but god dammit, I keep trying.

 

[Reign in Acai]

Nad, ye going to the Solstafir gig in December? Come be my friend.

 

[dorian gray]

My latest foray into having a male friend is a gay dude

 

[NAD]

Gay dudes get the best chicks!

Jerry I would go to see you, but sadly I don't really like Solstafir. Oh wait, is that the Pallbearer show? I love them. I'll probably talk about going and then not show up.