Males and Females

[The Ozzman]

Relationships are about compromise. If you can't compromise on some things, then it won't work out at all.

 

[Draehl]

Whoa. I never said anything about no compromise or about having anything specific in common, just a generally compatible lifestyle and hobbies that don't drive each other insane.

But hiphop is a deal breaker =P

 

[damnromulans]

I think people put way too much stock in stupid shit........etc

Also, the idea that you should NEVER SETTLE FOR LESS THAN PERFECT. Fact: nobody's perfect, but you can learn to love someone's imperfections or at least tolerate them. Unlikely to progress that far if you write everyone off for not ticking all the boxes in your checklist of things that "matter."

 

[damnromulans]

Whoa. I never said anything about no compromise or about having anything specific in common, just a generally compatible lifestyle and hobbies that don't drive each other insane.

But hiphop is a deal breaker =P

Really? Even if everything else she liked was great and she fit all your physical criteria?

 

[Draehl]

Yep. Some things you just can't compromise on. But that being said I'd say the same about male friends as well. I don't have a single friend who likes hiphop. Country? Punk? Pop? No interest in music at all? Those are points of compromise. I think the hiphop it comes with the baggage of a certain lifestyle and/or attitude to even have an interest in the music style.

 

[zabu of nΩd]

Like being a fucking idiot

 

[voilenoir]

There isn't anything wrong with online dating... putting yourself out there is a good thing! And yeah some people are basing what they see off looks/music/tv....
But as some of you who have ok cupid accounts and I'm sure accounts on other dating websites ask questions much involved then just the basics. I could never date someone who hated metal. Doesn't mean they have to love it... but there are reasons for each question/topic.

As far as looks... at least for me, there has to be at least a bit of physical attraction. But if I meet someone with a super rad personality - looks end up not mattering because their inner beauty projects. And I find them more attractive all around.
If that makes sense. Haha sorry kinda went on there...

 

[damnromulans]

Yep. Some things you just can't compromise on. But that being said I'd say the same about male friends as well. I don't have a single friend who likes hiphop. Country? Punk? Pop? No interest in music at all? Those are points of compromise. I think the hiphop it comes with the baggage of a certain lifestyle and/or attitude to even have an interest in the music style.

Does this also apply to jazz and blues and reggae? It sounds like you have a soft-off (opposite of hard-on) for black people

 

[zabu of nΩd]

I think that's known as racism

 

[damnromulans]

I'm not sure hating hip-hop is grounds to call someone a racist, but dismissing everyone who likes it even a little as a friend or potential mate leaves you a small pool...

 

[Matt]

Yep. Some things you just can't compromise on. But that being said I'd say the same about male friends as well. I don't have a single friend who likes hiphop. Country? Punk? Pop? No interest in music at all? Those are points of compromise. I think the hiphop it comes with the baggage of a certain lifestyle and/or attitude to even have an interest in the music style.

1 - You're an idiot.

2 - You people have got to be joking if you say you'll turn down a potential match due to liking a certain genre of music. That's something that really doesn't matter at all in a relationship.

 

[The Butt]

Ugh, just unfriended my ex on facebook because of some stupid and meaningless status she posted. I need her out of my life completely. I can't imagine a girl being more psychologically unhealthy for me. I don't think this friend shit is going to work.

Sometimes it doesn't, man. Just the way of the road... if someone's causing you mental distress, you cut 'em out of yer life. It's rough, but it's the fuckin' way she goes sometimes.

 

[Dak]

1 - You're an idiot.

2 - You people have got to be joking if you say you'll turn down a potential match due to liking a certain genre of music. That's something that really doesn't matter at all in a relationship.

So you suggest a relationship with someone requiring both of you to use headphones at all times to listen to your music of choice? Sounds awesome.

 

[King Richard]

^That doesn't make any sense either though. No person only listens to one genre of music. That's damn near impossible. So there's always something out there or on the radio for both people to compromise on listening to. Making any bigger deal of it than that is stupid.

 

[Dak]

^That doesn't make any sense either though. No person only listens to one genre of music. That's damn near impossible. So there's always something out there or on the radio for both people to compromise on listening to. Making any bigger deal of it than that is stupid.

It depends on the person. I pretty much can't stand anything that comes on the radio, and I know people who can't stand anything that isn't currently playing on the top 40.

Also, it wouldn't necessarily cause an issue while casually dating, but completely opposite music interests could definitely be a deal breaker for a serious relationship, if music is very important to either or both individuals.

 

[unknown]

My girlfriend doesn't like heavy metal, but like King said, I don't just listen to one genre of music. Whenever I'm driving and she's in the car, I'll put on some jazz or neofolk and everything is okay.

 

[Cronopio]

What the fuck I don't even

 

[cookiecutter]

I think people put way too much stock in stupid shit like what type of music someone likes, or what kind of tv they watch, etc. None of that shit matters when it comes to a good healthy relationship. I hate most of reality tv and shitty pop songs, but most chicks enjoy that type of thing. Does it make them a bad person, unintelligent, or "not my type?" Fuck no. What I care about is how religious (if at all) someone is, do they have goals or at least have some desire to make the most of their life and not want to be a slutty party chick. Are they intelligent, possess a good moral compass, care for important things that doesn't involve blowing loads of money on dumb pointless things. You know, shit like that.

Very. very true. The deeper down values (religion, money, morality) are much more important, although I also like reality shows and shitty pop music.

"NOT BASMATI?! YOU FUCKING WHORE, OUT OF MY SIGHT!!"

hehehe... but seriously

I think you need some things in common. You don't have to match on every level, but at least have compatible hobbies/interests. I used the example of knitting before not because I give a fuck about knitting, but it's something compatible with a homebody who is generally reading/gaming/jamming. What the hobbies are don't matter so much as the compatibility of said hobbies. Music is kind of a tricky one because it does radiate. Black Metal wouldn't go over too well with someone who doesn't at least like metal/hard rock on a basic level. I sure as fuck couldn't date anyone who liked hip hop.

Lighten up bro

 

[The Butt]

I could date somebody that totally abhorred metal, and had complete polar opposite tastes to myself, so long as they were intelligent/passionate about the music they enjoy/music in general. I don't think I could date someone that didn't care about music... it's become such a big part of my life, it's become so ingrained into me that I'd at least want any potential partner to show interest in it.

 

[Cronopio]

^
What he said. Plus, I could also not date someone who did not read ...