me and my crazy compulsive thoughts

[minxnim]

these thoughts are some that plague me. sometimes to the point of debilitation. it's fun! try it sometime:

1. my apartment will catch on fire and freddy will die of smoke inhalation and i won't be there to save him.

2. i will starve myself to death. i'll know i'm doing it, and i'll want to stop, but i won't be able to.

3. someone will hurt my parents. total reoccuring horrible thought.

4. someone will come up behind me when i'm painting. (outdoors)

5. someone will kidnap one of the wandering unsupervised children in my building. i constantly think of reasons to go outside and account for them and then i go back in.

6. i'll find a client who's hanged themselves when i do a home visit.

i'll post more as they compulsively grip and terrify me throughout the day.

 

[xfer]

i have the parents-will-die recurring thought a lot nowadays. it's terrible!

 

[lizard]

I have a real fear of fire. back when I lived in IL we woke up in the middle of the night and our detached garage was on fire, with smoke blowing in our back windows. Waking up disoriented, in smoke, is not good. I had to run into the garage (probably stupidly) to rescue the car.

 

[goatschool]

with me it's someone stealthing in through the bathroom window.

these are worse at night, right?

 

[azal]

I hide away all my jackets at night now because I always think it's some dude in my room staring at me.

 

[minxnim]

nix, no they're pretty much the same, whenever they strike.

 

[xfer]

i'm never really concerned about being murdered or dying in a fire or anything. like, whatever, i kind of want to see what the afterlife is actually like anyway. i just get worried sick about my family and friends.

 

[goatschool]

yeah but azal you're a big guy, and serb. you have no known predators!

 

[azal]

I'm tall but with the muscle tone of egg salad.

big difference.



I am serb however and can organize a militia whenever neccessary, that's true.

 

[minxnim]

yea i dont get afraid of dying or being hurt. just that happening to other people i know

 

[minxnim]

also, these thoughts aren't fleeting. they're fairly grotesque and detailed and i cannot get them out of my head. the same thing happens to my dad. i have vivid memories of his tearing up the stairs into my bedroom when i was like, 4 or 5 and grabbing me out of bed and checking if i was alive.

 

[goatschool]

those are of course, the most untouchable kinds of fears.

to be honest i used to have those. the parents thing. not just dying but unspeakable stuff.

also, the thought of a younger sibling forced to find food for themself if there was something like a nuclear war or a plague and they survived, wandering out at my parent's house in the snow, etc. terrible.

then they went away. i don't know why.

 

[lizard]

when you become a parent one of your biggest fears is SID syndrome. I'd check in on infant Noah almost every night, breathing a sigh of relief when I'd see his little body breathing.

 

[goatschool]

ah, probably because i dislike them.

 

[minxnim]

mine come and go. right now i have this overwhelming fear (i'm sure nix will understand why here....) that a serial killer will go to my parents house and really really hurting my mom when my dad is away. i am always very scared for my mom. alllllll the time. she's so little and innocent.

 

[Demonspell]

My most common compulsive fear is either getting into a fatal accident or ending up homeless...

 

[IanDork107]

 

[minxnim]

i have no idea why that lobster thing is in this thread. it's gross though.

today i keep having this idea that i will shoot myself without realizing it. how that's possible i dunno. but it's just this weird fear i have. like woops! BANG! OOPS.

 

[xfer]

i think there are hordes of limping wannabe gangstas who have done exactly that.

 

[minxnim]

i am not one of those.