Those Untruth mixes were pretty astounding. If you want some advice from a fellow engineer, if you care to consider it, one thing you can do to improve your mixes is back down on teh loudness factor and concentrate on avoiding clipping. Professional work should not have audible clipping on it and more recent mixes I've heard from you have. All you need to do is keep raising the bar for yourself, as you said. Trust yourself as well. Sometimes you can make mistakes that end up teaching you a lot; other times you will stumble upon something magical.
Hey Greg,
I rarely ever master my own projects, and only obscure little singles that I've worked on (none of you have heard) last year were actually maximized by me.
Those tracks you are referring to were all done by dedicated mastering engineers.
It was crill that interned with Nordstrom - I've never had the pleasure (sorry Dan).
But yeah, to roll with the 'its only music' thing. It's a lot more than that to me. It represents the possibility to transcend these borders and actually be somebody. It's very important that I get the hell out of here and actually start a real life away from this hole. The only way is to gain some international cred, have a steady stream of high-tier mixing projects, and know that no matter where I set up shop, I can sustain myself.
That and I've always had an innate urge to be the best. Whether I do or don't have the ability doesn't really matter. It's just about trying - for all of us, in the face of all odds.