my advice would be: try to seperate your production into MIX and MASTERING. do each in different projects. try to get your MIX as balanced as possible. DO NOT TRY to make it as loud/exciting, bright, or have that same low end depth as your (MASTERED) reference CD's. stay on the low side, if it's peaking anywhere around -6 to -3db you're perfectly fine. imho a good mix will sound somewhat bland when compared to a finished product, but it will have a great spectral balance.
it's the mastering where you can try to add that extra shimmer, extra bottom punch, and obviously get things as loud as you think you need.
btw, i'm not saying that you should go for sub-par mixes. at all! the thing is, it's way easier for a mastering engineer to add some sparkle to a somewhat dull mix, than to tame an overly bright one! and that's why it's so important to get the spectral balance right. if the whole thing is a tad dark but everythings balanced, adding some extra highs won't make individual stuff like overheads/vocals sound *overly* bright.
but well, i'll stop it right now....^^