My Latest Girl Thread

[lizard]

you never forget your first boob.

 

[lurch70]

I don't want to work, I just want to bang on the drums all day.

First time I touched a boob was on a golf course. When I was 15 hanging out at the local golf course at night was just what you did, you could be loud, stupid, and smoke cigarettes without much fear of getting caught. My girlfriend at the time came with us one night, and I touched her boobz. I can remember the size, shape, and consistency of most boobs I've touched in my day, but none so much as those.

... i like how this story just came out of nowhere.

 

[NAD]

Hers were huge too, whoa man.

I'm trying to think of more amusing stories but I can't. Too early, too Monday. Oh, the last chick I dated regularly (last autumn) was pretty cool because she always brought me beer and food and gave good skull. All I ever had to do was show up. I tried scamming some more of the oral saix a few weeks ago but she started ignoring me, I think she thinks I only want her while drunk. She's right, but still.

... i like how this story just came out of nowhere.

Henrik asked for amusing stories + too bored to try and work this morning = yep :Spin:

 

[lurch70]

Henrik asked for amusing stories + too bored to try and work this morning = yep

oh yeah ... forgot the original intent of this thread ...
wow ... 2 pages in and we are still on topic. usually only happens when talking about women

 

[NAD]

Friday night and I need a fight
My motorcycle and a switchblade knife
Handful of grease in my hair feels right
But what I need to get me tight are

Girls, girls, girls
Long legs and burgundy lips
Girls, girls, girls
Dancin’ down on the sunset strip
Girls, girls, girls
Red lips, fingertips

Trick or treat--sweet to eat
On halloween and new year’s eve
Yankee girls ya just can’t be beat
But you’re the best when you’re off their feet

Girls, girls, girls
At the dollhouse in ft. lauderdale
Girls, girls, girls
Rocking in atlanta at tattletails
Girls, girls, girls
Raising hell at the 7th veil

Have you read the news
In the soho tribune
Ya know she did me
Well then she broke my heart

I’m such a good good boy
I just need a new toy
I tell ya what, girl
Dance for me, ill keep you overemployed
Just tell me a story
You know the one I mean

Crazy horse, paris, france
Forget the names, remember romance
I got the photos, a ménage á trois
Musta broke those frenchies laws with those

Girls, girls, girls
Body shop, marble arch
Girls, girls, girls
Tropicana’s where I lost my heart

Girls, girls, girls

---------------------------------------------

Girls - all I really want is girls
And in the morning it's girls
Cause in the evening it's girls

I like the way that they walk
And it's chill to hear them talk
And I can always make them smile
From White Castle to the Nile

Back in the day
There was this girl around the way
She liked by home-piece M.C.A.
He said he would not give her play
I asked him, "Please?" - he said, "You may."
Her pants were tight and that's ok
If she would dance - I would D.J.
We took a walk down to the bay

I hope she'll say, "Hey me and you should hit the
hay!"
I asked her out - she said, "No way!"
I should've probably guess their gay
So I broke North with no delay
I heard she moved real far away
That was two years ago this May
I seen her just the other day
Jockin' Mike D. to my dismay

Girls - to do the dishes
Girls - to clean up my room
Girls - to do the laundry
Girls - and in the bathroom
Girls - that's all I really want is girls
Two at a time - I want girls
With new wave hairdos - I want girls
I ought to whip out my - girls, girls, girls, girls,girls,
girls, girls, girls,
girls!

 

[MFJ]

those lyrics, fuck off.

 

[NAD]

Wuss!

 

[lurch70]

the crue is the real deal

 

[MFJ]

yuo

 

[lizard]

The Flight

On a transatlantic flight, a plane passes through a severe storm. The turbulence is awful, and things go from bad to worse when one wing is struck by lightning.

One woman in particular loses it. Screaming, she stands up in the front of the plane. "I'm too young to die," she wails. Then she yells, "Well, if I'm going to die, I want my last minutes to be memorable! Is there anyone on this plane who can make me feel like a WOMAN?"

For a moment there is silence. Everyone has forgotten their own peril. They all stare, riveted, at the desperate woman in the front of the plane. Then a man from Nebraska stands up in the rear of the plane. He is handsome: tall, well built, with dark brown hair and hazel eyes.

He starts to walk slowly up the aisle, unbuttoning his shirt.

.....One button at a time.

.....No one moves.

......He removes his shirt.

......Muscles ripple across his chest.

.....She gasps...

.....He whispers....

....."Iron this --
..... and then get me a beer ."

 

[NAD]

I like the Crue but that song is So. Fucking. Stupid. Like bad stupid, that section in the middle when "hey man you see that chick?" "oh man yeah!" is just . That means I still like it, but the Beastie Boys song is infinitely superior.

Girls - to do the dishes
Girls - to clean up my room
Girls - to do the laundry
Girls - and in the bathroom
Girls - that's all I really want is girls
Two at a time - I want girls
With new wave hairdos - I want girls

 

[MFJ]

Nice, nice.

 

[Profanity]

this thread could do with some more pictures.

 

[lurch70]

wow ... profanity is making sense

 

[NAD]

Okay I'm a big windbag, not just talking yapyapyap I mean I fart loud and often right. Took my girlfriend at the time camping in the forest for my birthday some years back, which was made even more unruly than usual because there were little to no people anywhere, and TONS of coyotes to sing at night (I love that sound). We had been together probably 6 months by then so I of course had already farted in front of her like 239875938569 times, audibly. So in the sleeping bag the first night, for the first time in front of me she breaks lose. And again. And again. And again and again and again for about 30 minutes straight, and it was STINKIN. Good times!

 

[lurch70]

jesus

 

[lizard]

haha a woman who can rip 'em is a good woman. no matter how old a guy gets, he better find farts funny, cause the day you cease seeing the humor, man, life is over.

 

[lizard]

haha a woman who can rip 'em is a good woman.

except....when in 69 mode. then farts aren't funny.

 

[NAD]

jesus

That's right man, joo don't fuck with da Jesus!

haha a woman who can rip 'em is a good woman. no matter how old a guy gets, he better find farts funny, cause the day you cease seeing the humor, man, life is over.

YES. I've dated two broads that could let them go in front of me, and it was a good thing.

except....when in 69 mode. then farts aren't funny.

Yeah that's an awfully precarious position right there.

 

[lizard]

Jesus opens the can 'o wuppass