no. but really.

[minxnim]

1. i am drinking COFFEE

2. i just got an email that Jennifer Connelly is going to be in my office shooting a film tomorrow? like, is she going to touch my picture of fred? because that's not okay.

3. i almost took a job as a dancer last night but then backed out for fear that my dad would find out and kill people. (NOT NAKED DANCING A-HOLES)

4. if you say "bite me" and someone gets mad you can say that you really said 'fine by me' and it totally works.

5. i got 6 dozen fucking roses this morning.

6. i walked past this guy that had puke all over his chin on my way here.

hi guys.

 

[minxnim]

7. i'm glad greg doesn't have a bad case of F.A.S.M.

8. i swear i just heard the director say 'ham sensor' in her phone conversation.

9. heroin is really awesome but i just can't do it, you know?

 

[minxnim]

10. i am going to kill jake if he jerks off all over this thread.

 

[Josh Seipp]

Jennifer Connelly can touch MY picture of Fred

 

[minxnim]

11. i have a specially designated black marker on my desk for which i use only to write 'DECEASED' on client files.

 

[minxnim]

12. i usually write said 'DECEASED' in wild style graffiti letters

 

[lizard]

I was always tempted to try heroin but was always to much of a scardey cat (sp) thank goodness.

hi to everyone!

barf on chin is not good; six dozen roses is niccccccce.

 

[lizard]

Preppy has a "DEATH PEN"

 

[minxnim]

13. she totally did say ham sensor. irys confirmed this.

14. i am somewhat psychotic.

 

[minxnim]

15. i should start smoking again 'because it makes me look cool and helps me lose weight'

 

[FuSoYa]

 

[minxnim]

16. if best buy doesn't give me my new laptop like ASAP i am going to go over there and blow my nose on their fancy BEST BUY SMOCKS.

 

[minxnim]

17. this t-shirt is awesome http://www.tshirthell.com/shirts/tshirt.php?sku=a291

 

[xfer]

footnotes:

3. my roommate from a couple years back was a dancer and she loved it. it kind of made going to a club fun for us if Kalene was dancing in a cage there. she did eventually become a naked dancer, so i think that is the natural progression of said career.

 

[xfer]

oops

 

[minxnim]

18. i really really like julee cruise and her songs make me sad

 

[minxnim]

19. i'm waiting for a wildlife conservation team to drop down from the roof and shoot me with a traquilizer gun through the 7th floor window.

 

[Josh Seipp]

responding to these is a little bit like playing a nice game of tennis with a brick wall

which reminds me of that mitch hedberg joke

"The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how much I play, I'll never be as good as a wall. I played a wall once. They're fucking relentless."

 

[minxnim]

20. incidentally, my father is a stone mason and as well as providing half of my genetic material if not more, he builds a mean brick wall.

 

[Josh Seipp]