damnromulans
Klingons do not faint
I'm not going to lie, I hate "poetry" and 99% of poems.
Bukowski does it for me though.
edit: and Edgar Allan Poe.
Bukowski does it for me though.
edit: and Edgar Allan Poe.
Poetry
- Thread starter Dazed and Brutal
- Start date
panzerfaust666
German Asshole
Ive been writing lotsssss lately, finally learnin' and getting better! at least i think, I really dont have anything to grade them to, because I didnt finish high school and all that shit.
usually what I do is I write and write, and then piece together and find a meaning... because there always ends up being a common thread of meaning there.
for instance this one I jsut wrote cause I liked the imagery, and then it developed into a poem about watching the news and tv in general, and being very disconnected from such major and horrible events.
Car horns and whirring engines
revolving doors and twisted glitches
childrens cry;s and mother's shout's
the laughing and the yelling
and all the damn buzzing...
theres a bear on the loose
grab the children and hide
shut the doors, bolt the locks
But thats today,
and tommorrow its just re-runs
tear gas and smoke bombs
step away from this 'cause
(all) the bright lights are out
a shock from the blast
IV drips and bed rest
and a soldeirs last breath
a ghost drifts by
(the) damages of war
But thats today,
and tommorrow its just re-runs
and fake sentiments
(a) boy's broken toy soldeir
forgotten tommorrow
handle with care
and dont swallow
I dunnnnnnnno, Opinions? like ive said, I really dont know what I am doing and I;m still learning, but what the hell there it is.
usually what I do is I write and write, and then piece together and find a meaning... because there always ends up being a common thread of meaning there.
for instance this one I jsut wrote cause I liked the imagery, and then it developed into a poem about watching the news and tv in general, and being very disconnected from such major and horrible events.
Car horns and whirring engines
revolving doors and twisted glitches
childrens cry;s and mother's shout's
the laughing and the yelling
and all the damn buzzing...
theres a bear on the loose
grab the children and hide
shut the doors, bolt the locks
But thats today,
and tommorrow its just re-runs
tear gas and smoke bombs
step away from this 'cause
(all) the bright lights are out
a shock from the blast
IV drips and bed rest
and a soldeirs last breath
a ghost drifts by
(the) damages of war
But thats today,
and tommorrow its just re-runs
and fake sentiments
(a) boy's broken toy soldeir
forgotten tommorrow
handle with care
and dont swallow
I dunnnnnnnno, Opinions? like ive said, I really dont know what I am doing and I;m still learning, but what the hell there it is.
panzerfaust666
German Asshole
....Like being tied to four horse's
each running apart
branded with cattle prods
and hit with hot coals
from the fire
(below)
snap of a whip and a beggars cough
a loud yell/shout/gasp for air
pulled/wrenched apart
getting torn into pieces
limb from limb
pick the wings off fly's
they drink from their trough
and the well's run dry
like the cracked earth of the desert
and ill be dead in the meantime
you'll all be close behind
and your boat dragged ( down )
to the bottom of the sea
by a great big fish of the deep
your at the bottom, the bottom
----------------------------------------------
My heads in the clouds
stuck up there, cant come down
dead battery and even the charger
broke down
Like a dead fly
stuck to the wall
scrapped off with a knife
wiped off,forgotten about
I cant climb the ladder
back down to where they...
the people, act like roaches
I dont know them anymore
crack on head.
brain sick.
Pass out.
Poked with needles
like a pin doll
malfunction
hourglass trickling by
dead battery
powers out
no regrets
im lost in the clouds
two more.
each running apart
branded with cattle prods
and hit with hot coals
from the fire
(below)
snap of a whip and a beggars cough
a loud yell/shout/gasp for air
pulled/wrenched apart
getting torn into pieces
limb from limb
pick the wings off fly's
they drink from their trough
and the well's run dry
like the cracked earth of the desert
and ill be dead in the meantime
you'll all be close behind
and your boat dragged ( down )
to the bottom of the sea
by a great big fish of the deep
your at the bottom, the bottom
----------------------------------------------
My heads in the clouds
stuck up there, cant come down
dead battery and even the charger
broke down
Like a dead fly
stuck to the wall
scrapped off with a knife
wiped off,forgotten about
I cant climb the ladder
back down to where they...
the people, act like roaches
I dont know them anymore
crack on head.
brain sick.
Pass out.
Poked with needles
like a pin doll
malfunction
hourglass trickling by
dead battery
powers out
no regrets
im lost in the clouds
two more.
JGMetalhead
Anti-humorizing DL Whore
People are hating.
Why can't we all get along?
They are just degrading.
Stooping to their level as if things would settle down might of made things easy.
Theres not really much to do.
Its as if we are making ourselves look like pricks and all of a sudden things get sleazy.
What the hell is with all you people going grammar nazi.
Sure we are a community but what happened to honor?
Its most likely you guys are just hording like some ignorant lame posse.
So I ask you again... What is with this hate?
This self-indulged hurtfulness that only lowers yourself.
Don't you know it makes others feel quite irate?
Why can't we all get along?
They are just degrading.
Stooping to their level as if things would settle down might of made things easy.
Theres not really much to do.
Its as if we are making ourselves look like pricks and all of a sudden things get sleazy.
What the hell is with all you people going grammar nazi.
Sure we are a community but what happened to honor?
Its most likely you guys are just hording like some ignorant lame posse.
So I ask you again... What is with this hate?
This self-indulged hurtfulness that only lowers yourself.
Don't you know it makes others feel quite irate?
Einherjar86
Active Member
panzerfaust - Im impressed, great potential lyrics there. I love political and socially charged stuff
panzerfaust666
German Asshole
EInherjer: You can omit the words or not. TO me personally, it changes the meaning and the flow quite a bit also.In the case of the line " (all) the bright lights are out " I see it as being more descriptive and pin pointing the meaning alot more with the parenthesis there. But without it, it could refer to other things ,i.e. a Dead Person. Anyways, thats the train of thought there.
Razor: Glad you liked them man! means alot. Yeah its kind of odd, usually I write the lyrics about personal experiences/emotions/blah. But they can always be interpreted and usually more clearly, as political in some way
Razor: Glad you liked them man! means alot. Yeah its kind of odd, usually I write the lyrics about personal experiences/emotions/blah. But they can always be interpreted and usually more clearly, as political in some way
This is something that I done for an excercise in English. I've already posted it in the writing thread but i'll post it again anyway. It sucks compared to most of the other stuff on here but I just want to see what people think.
The Blood Countess
I hear her scream,
As she begs for help.
But I have no intention of letting her go,
Right now she is mine, and mine alone.
I do not like this one,
She is loud and will not shut up.
When the servants had brought her to me,
She had resisted violently.
They had to drug and subdue her,
And I did not like that.
I preferred them to be more aware,
To see the fear in their eyes.
Luckily, though, she is strong,
And the drug has not yet taken full effect.
I laugh at her pitiful attempts at reason,
Telling me that she will tell no one.
Little does she know,
That there is only one thing I want from her.
And I will have it,
I need it.
As she continues to scream,
I ponder how to finish her.
I liked to make it slow,
To watch them suffer.
But the screams they make,
They give me a headache.
I could gag her. No.
She would choke to death.
Choke on her own vomit,
Before I could deliver the final blow.
I finger the knife. Yes.
It has never failed before.
The blade is sharp,
The inside lined with razor-sharp serrations.
As I turn around, I see her,
Lying battered and bloodied.
She lies on the hard, cold stone,
The wire binding her hands, cutting into her wrists.
When she sees the knife, clean and sharp,
Her pleas turn to insults,
She calls me disgusting things.
How dare this peasant talk to me in such ways,
Yes, she deserves to die.
As I approach her, she begins to struggle,
Causing her ties to tighten and spill her precious blood.
As I get close to her, I see the hatred in her eyes,
The frustration of knowing there is no escape.
I hold the knife in the dim torchlight,
Causing orange reflections to glint in the blade.
I see the fear begin to take her over,
As her young heart begins to hammer frantically against her ribcage.
I run the blade over her soft, pale skin,
And tears form in her eyes.
Her screams are now strained,
Her throat sore, choked with terror.
A smile spreads across my face,
At her futile babbling.
She will smile as well,
When I cut her pretty, little head ear to ear.
I move closer, towards her throat,
The bloodlust rising inside of me.
Her choked screams turn to mere whimpers,
And I begin to cut.
Now, as I bathe,
I think to myself,
How I will be forever young.
As when I bathe in the blood,
Of the virgin girls,
I, Elizabeth Bathory,
I, The Hungarian Blood Countess,
Am immortal.
The Blood Countess
I hear her scream,
As she begs for help.
But I have no intention of letting her go,
Right now she is mine, and mine alone.
I do not like this one,
She is loud and will not shut up.
When the servants had brought her to me,
She had resisted violently.
They had to drug and subdue her,
And I did not like that.
I preferred them to be more aware,
To see the fear in their eyes.
Luckily, though, she is strong,
And the drug has not yet taken full effect.
I laugh at her pitiful attempts at reason,
Telling me that she will tell no one.
Little does she know,
That there is only one thing I want from her.
And I will have it,
I need it.
As she continues to scream,
I ponder how to finish her.
I liked to make it slow,
To watch them suffer.
But the screams they make,
They give me a headache.
I could gag her. No.
She would choke to death.
Choke on her own vomit,
Before I could deliver the final blow.
I finger the knife. Yes.
It has never failed before.
The blade is sharp,
The inside lined with razor-sharp serrations.
As I turn around, I see her,
Lying battered and bloodied.
She lies on the hard, cold stone,
The wire binding her hands, cutting into her wrists.
When she sees the knife, clean and sharp,
Her pleas turn to insults,
She calls me disgusting things.
How dare this peasant talk to me in such ways,
Yes, she deserves to die.
As I approach her, she begins to struggle,
Causing her ties to tighten and spill her precious blood.
As I get close to her, I see the hatred in her eyes,
The frustration of knowing there is no escape.
I hold the knife in the dim torchlight,
Causing orange reflections to glint in the blade.
I see the fear begin to take her over,
As her young heart begins to hammer frantically against her ribcage.
I run the blade over her soft, pale skin,
And tears form in her eyes.
Her screams are now strained,
Her throat sore, choked with terror.
A smile spreads across my face,
At her futile babbling.
She will smile as well,
When I cut her pretty, little head ear to ear.
I move closer, towards her throat,
The bloodlust rising inside of me.
Her choked screams turn to mere whimpers,
And I begin to cut.
Now, as I bathe,
I think to myself,
How I will be forever young.
As when I bathe in the blood,
Of the virgin girls,
I, Elizabeth Bathory,
I, The Hungarian Blood Countess,
Am immortal.
panzerfaust666
German Asshole
Im not good at judging people's work, but I think it's pretty good. Actually I hate judging peoples stuff, thats why I put mine up here haha 
panzerfaust666
German Asshole
damnromulans
Klingons do not faint
@Chimaira it sounds like Korn lyrics. throw in some more abstract word usage/play with the words a little more.
damnromulans
Klingons do not faint
It has the first person tension, shock-value violence and "ARE YOU JUDGING ME?" anxiety of Korn.
damnromulans
Klingons do not faint
Valerie
¯\(ã)/¯
- Aug 29, 2005
- 6,765
- 4
- 38
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