Are you crazy?
You need to come to Europe if the American metalheads are being complete assholes to you. There are many, many metalheads here whose primary basis of choosing the right mate depends on his/her taste in music and compatability with the metal lifestyle, i.e., going to concerts, playing with their band, etc. People aren't ashamed of being metalheads here. There aren't any cliques. Well, there are but everyone hangs out with everyone else...there is no "popularity" bullshit here. If you're a nice person and not a complete douchebag, you'll meet tons of friends and have a wonderful time.
Karen can tell you all about European metalheads as well, I'm sure. I think we Americans still have this notion that you have to be a badass to be a metalhead, and it's not true. I think sometimes we almost
try to follow a cliche when we don't have to. Just don't be a dick, that's my philosophy.