Good effort, but unfit song choice. You've a good act going on, but this song deserves a remake with an epic, dark, powerful and intensely atmospheric metal soundworld. It's cool to make something sound different, but this sound weird as fuck. Some sections work nice. Try covering another song, like... Scream for Silence, it would suit your style better, especially if you alter vocals sections like that. Do that song and post it here. And use a violin for some melodies in that song.
