Nah, I'd be surprised if it's more than 200 pages. You gotta remember I just turned 30 not too long ago. I'm not very old.
The thing I'm having problems with is remembering all the different shit I've done in the past 20 years and how drastically my life changed every few years until now. Until I left the military, I was basically reinventing myself every two years or so. It's gonna be tough trying to get back into the mindset I was in back in the 90's and during the military and the crazy and sometimes stupid decisions I made; decisions that affect me to this day. Decisions like getting married really young, putting all your complete trust in someone and giving them every last part of yourself when they didn't deserve it and the only thing you got back was abuse and a divorce.
I've always learned my lessons the hard way, and then swearing off any form of relationship for years until you meet someone on a train coming back from Milan on New Year's Day, heartbroken, dejected, and angry, you've let yourself be fooled again by someone who told you how special you were to them and how much they loved you. The strangest thing was that the thing that killed my last two relationships was the same thing makes my relationship with Annalisa so strong. Sitting on a train for four hours in your own misery, you drop a cd on the floor by accident and the right person happens to get on the train in YOUR car at the right time and the conversation starts from there. You then find out that this person lives 10 km from you and you both know the same people, yet you've never met. She was supposed to catch another train but missed it, I was supposed to leave on an earlier one but opted for the later one. If I hadn't dropped that cd by accident, she never would have approached me, I never would've met her, she never would've shown me how incomplete my life was without her, and I wouldn't be here right now. It's like a fucking fairy tale but I'll spare you the details unless you want a reeeeaaaaallly long post.