say something about ... yourself!

So I was pretty fucking hungry when I got home, didn't feel like going out or making anything, so I ordered from dominos. I saw the commercial for those fucking sandwich things and said "well, it can't hurt to try". I was wrong.

The thing arrived and it looked like it had been infected with aids after spending a few years in a jewish interment camp. It was half burnt, it had little to no substance, and I believe it was screaming "Cure me!". I ate it anyway. The taste was like that of eating dissatisfaction itself. The bread was made of cancer cells, and the salami seemed more like sliced labia skin from a leper. I continued eating despite this due to the fact that I was starving.

Little did I know the pain to come.

For the last 2 hours I have been on and off the toilet in a 10/5 minute ratio (10 minutes on toilet for every 5 minutes not on toilet). My asshole feels as if someone stuck a propane torch up to the rim and lit it. The shit I am expelling is not even shit. It smells and resembles drano, and actually it feels like I am shitting DRANO.

I am never using the words "It can't hurt to try it" again. Because it fucking hurts. IT FUCKING HURTS.
 
Drunk.
Almost got into a fight tonight with a guy that knew I could kick his rump. But since he wasn't insulting me ,jyst my friend, I didn't want to get into a fight unless she told me to go for it on her bhalf. Nothing ever went down. But I told him if he started that crap with me, I'd lay him flat and he backed off me. Mostly because me and some guys I met tonight had an arm wrestling match and I beat some of them.

Also, friend of a friend of Dave is trying to hook me and dave up. She also managed to flash some people with my boobs. I didn't think she'd go that far. But whatever, she's a lot of fun.

That's it. Ex is being kind of a dumbbutt without realizing, it and now I'm really hungry. I have no slave boy to make me a sandwich.... Taco bell? MAYBE.
 
Jace_Mereel said:
Drunk.
Almost got into a fight tonight with a guy that knew I could kick his rump. But since he wasn't insulting me ,jyst my friend, I didn't want to get into a fight unless she told me to go for it on her bhalf. Nothing ever went down. But I told him if he started that crap with me, I'd lay him flat and he backed off me. Mostly because me and some guys I met tonight had an arm wrestling match and I beat some of them.

Also, friend of a friend of Dave is trying to hook me and dave up. She also managed to flash some people with my boobs. I didn't think she'd go that far. But whatever, she's a lot of fun.

That's it. Ex is being kind of a dumbbutt without realizing, it and now I'm really hungry. I have no slave boy to make me a sandwich.... Taco bell? MAYBE.
Click to expand...

Interesting post.
 
Captain Beard said:
Why was I not one of the boob flashed? I'd have photos for everyone on the board. Shit.
Click to expand...

I had like three guys say that to me tonight when I told them what happened. I thought they were there. :shrug: It won't happen again. Although my tooshie was grabbed quite often by the same chick.

Lunar Still said:
Interesting post.
Click to expand...

Gotta keep things interesting. My keyboard feels really lofty. It's kinda cool.
 
Sex as defined by anyone old enough to know better is usually defined to cover even unclothed petting anymore.
 
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