SEXIST THREAD

Fatalized said:
Man says to God:
"Why did you make woman so beautiful?"
God says:
"So you would love her."
"But God," the man says, "Why did you make her so dumb?"
God says:
"So she would love you."

Why are women so bad at parallel parking? Because men keep telling them that this: |<---------------------------------->| is 8 inches.

What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.

Why did the blond man drown?
The sign said 'NO SWIMMING'.

How do you kill a blond man?
Tell him to read the bumper sticker on the front of a truck.


WOMEN'S COMPACT INSTRUCTION BOOK

Never do housework. No man ever made love to a woman because the house was spotless.

Remember you are known by the idiot you accompany.

Don't imagine you can change a man - unless he's in diapers.

What do you do if your boyfriend walks out? You shut the door.

So many men - so many reasons not to sleep with any of them.

If they can put a man on the moon - they should be able to put them all there.

Tell him you're not his type - you have a pulse.

Never let your man's mind wander - its too little to be left out alone.

Go for younger men. You might as well - they never mature anyway.

Never marry a man for money. You'll have to earn every penny.

Definition of a bachelor: A man who has missed the opportunity to make some woman miserable.

The best way to get a man to do something is to suggest he is too old for it.

If he asks what sort of books you're interested in, tell him check books.

A man's idea of serious commitment is usually, "Oh all right, I'll stay the night".

Women sleep with men who, if they were women, they wouldn't even have bothered to have lunch with.

Remember a sense of humor does not mean that you tell him jokes, it means you laugh at his.

If he asks you if you if you're faking it tell him no, you're just practicing.

When he asks you if he's your first tell him, "You may be, you look familiar."


Reasons computers must be male:

1. They have a lot of data but are still clueless.
2. A better model is always just around the corner.
3. They look nice and shiny until you bring them home.
4. It is always necessary to have a backup.
5. They'll do whatever you say if you push the right buttons.
6. The best part of having either one is the games you can play.
7. The lights are on but nobody's home.
Click to expand...
i actually loved those :lol:
 
Thank you all! We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view, you ridiculous little carnival freak. Your post is an orgy of stultifying cacophonous verbal depravity; an exercise in literary impotence, and an offense to all of good taste and decency.

If brains were gasoline, you wouldn't have enough to drive an ant's Go-cart around the inside of a bottle cap. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself on the Internet. Oh well, at least you only charge what your free advice is worth. Oh well, as the late Douglas Adams said: "You live and learn. At any rate, you live."

I'm busy trying to imagine you with a personality. Maybe you'd be less boring once I got to know you, but I don't want to take that chance. If I had wanted to talk to somebody with your personality, I would be at the damn pet store talking to the lizards. Maybe you wouldn't come across as such a jellyfish-sucking mental midget if you weren't intellectually outclassed by dead sheep; if your weren't so fat that a "Place Your Billboard Ad Here" is printed on each of your butt cheeks, or if you didn't have a face that could scare a hungry wolf off a meat truck. Who am I kidding? You would.

In conclusion, sit down and shut up before trip over your own tongue and hurt yourself.


XD SEXISM IS FOR BROCCOLI EATING BITCHWHORES
 
feminism is retarded. That my official opinion. It's for dykes and crazies.

the feminists will hang us for being against it tho.
 
Q. A man noticed that his credit card had been stolen but didn't report it.
A. The thief was spending less then his wife.

Q. Why haven't they sent a woman to the moon yet?
A. It doesn't need cleaning.

Oh wait, we're not supposed to say bad things anymore...at least that's what I think that really long post said.
 
If anyone genuinley believes we are all true sexists they need their faces punched. This is just how us manly men grow bonds..by insulting women.

:D
 
Profanity said:
^ do you honestly think that the average man is going to spend time reading that?
Click to expand...
I really tried to read it, but I just coudn't be arsed... :loco:
 
Final_Product said:
but women cant defend themselves...cause their weak...
Click to expand...

depends on which woman you are talking about. there are plenty of weak guys out there...that get their asses kicked both physically and mentally...by me. strength can never replace brains; a thing in which people in general lack on both sides.
also, never underestimate a woman with a bad temper hahahaha
 
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